Matthew 4:18-20

New Living Translation

¹⁸ One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. ¹⁹ Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” ²⁰ And they left their nets at once and followed him.

Like Peter, when the Lord first called me over twenty years ago, I obeyed; leaving my nets on the shore at once to follow Him.

And, when He called me to move to Florida, I obeyed; stepping out of the boat and onto the sea in the midst of a storm of people’s opinions.

Now my faith, like Peter’s, is being tested.

Matthew 14:22-31

New Living Translation

²² Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home.²³ After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

²⁴ Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. ²⁵ About three o’clock in the morning^[a] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

²⁷ But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!^[b]”

²⁸ Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

²⁹ “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the strong^[c] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

³¹ Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

A few years before our move, I received a prophetic word from one of the elders in our church. He foretold that I would step into a stormy season and like Peter, I would begin to sink. He encouraged me not to be afraid- reminding me that the Lord would be with me. He said that in the end, I would be OK. Then he pulled out his phone to show me a picture that captured what he was seeing by the Spirit: https://www.amazon.com/HavenLight-Yongsung-Kim-Painting-Reaching/dp/B076HSJBL8?th=1 (I bought a copy of that print when we moved; I’m literally staring at it as I write!) I’ve never reacted so strongly to a prophecy. Quite frankly, it pissed me off!!! How dare this religious leader tell ME that my faith would fail!?

Spiritual pride, much?!

Absolutely. It may have been hidden below the surface of my self-righteous heart at the time, but the Lord knew it was there.

Nine months into our Promised Land journey I started realizing that storm was churning in the sea of my soul. All of my coping mechanisms of control were failing. And I came face to face with the reality that I was sinking….

Staring at the wind and waves, I began to lose sight of the One who beckoned me to, “come.” I cried out, “Lord, HELP!” Desperate attempts to save myself led to sinking further and further into the darkness. I couldn’t pray it away. I couldn’t cast it out. I couldn’t get delivered from it. Exhausted from trying to tread water on my own, my faith was failing. Grasping for answers, I contemplated another way out. Maybe I needed others to pray it away or cast it out or deliver me from evil? None of it was working. Don’t get me wrong- this is all biblical! (If you’ve followed my posts, you know I am a HUGE fan of Spirit led Healing & Deliverance Ministry! I’ve received & walked with many on their journey of freedom in Christ over the last 10 years.) But it’s NOT what the Spirit was saying. No quick fix, miracle, sign or wonder was coming to rescue me. Instead, in His goodness and for His glory, He’s allowing me to walk through this valley of the shadow of death called: PROCESS.

This PROCESS is painful.

But it’s necessary. And it’s beautiful.

Just like it was for Peter.

Yesterday, after my counseling appointment (part of the PROCESS) I stopped by Lake Morton. As I sat on the shore, feeding the birds, I watched another summer storm roll in. As the wind blew and the waves moved across the surface of the water, I felt such peace.

For a brief moment, my soul settled as I realized, He is with me. He will not leave me. He will not forsake me. AND, He is seated at the right hand of the Father interceding for me!

Yes, I am in the midst of a storm.

Yes, I am being sifted like wheat.

But… I am gonna be okay.

His Word is true!

He IS a good Shepherd; on the shore and on the sea.

Are you in the midst of a PROCESS, my friend?

Let me know how I can partner with the Lord in prayer for you.

Please share your story in the comments section below.

“The difficulty in surrendering to process is that there is no road map. I can’t tell you what you will experience along the way, or who you will be when you get there. I can tell you that it isn’t going to be easy, that it may get worse before it gets better, and that the alternatives to taking this journey are worse than the journey itself. These alternatives may include depression, prolonged numbness, decreased satisfaction with your remaining relationships, addiction, emotional difficulties that manifest as physical symptoms, or significantly less zest for living…the one thing that I do know with certainty from my own struggles and from being a midwife to countless others as they face their dark sides: Feelings that find expression change. And THAT change is the process that brings transformation.”

-The Jewish Book of Grief & Healing