Children

The Prodigal @ Home

/ Jodie / 2 Comments

Luke 15:11-32

11 To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. 12 The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

13 “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. 14 About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. 15 He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. 16 The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

17 “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19 and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

20 “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21 His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.[a]’

22 “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23 And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24 for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, 26 and he asked one of the servants what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’

28 “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, 29 but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 30 Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’

31 “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32 We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”

Like that prodigal in the parable, I also left my Father’s house as a young child. Blind to sin because of the desire to be my own god, I spent decades wasting my inheritance on immoral living. I ate and drank and wallowed in the mud & muck, just like a pig. Until one day, praise GOD- when I came to my senses, by the power of His Spirit! Conviction cut straight to the heart, piercing between my soul & spirit. I confessed, repented and returned to my Father, where He welcomed me home with open arms.

But my story doesn’t end there.

Since being adopted into God’s family, I’ve also played the part of the older child. The prodigal at home. Distracted by the demands of being about my Father’s business, I inadvertently become disconnected from His heart. As a result, the pouting begins; grumbling and complaining about the pigs who get to party, while I do ALL the work of the ministry! Forgetting about the grace given me, I become self-righteousness and angry. Angry that they seem to be getting all the attention and affection and applause, as if they are my Father’s favorite. Over time, if I ignore that anger long enough, it grows into a root of bitterness that defiles and deceives my own soul.

But, praise the LORD!!!

There’s still good news for that prodigal stuck in the pig trough.

When we:

Get HONEST with Him, ourselves and others (confess)

HONOR our Father (repent, forgive)

He will:

HEAL our prodigal heart

DELIVER us from the pig trough

My fellow prodigals, I believe it’s time to come to our senses again. LOVE must be our highest goal! We’ve become too distracted by the work of the ministry. It’s time to repent and return to our Father’s house- and the heart of the Father. It’s time to confess our sins to Him and one another so that we may be healed. It’s time to humble ourselves, get honest, and ask others in the body of Christ for help. It’s time to submit and surrender to His Word and Spirit as He cuts through our emotions, our minds and our wills.

It’s time for prodigals to come home. It’s time for prodigals at home to come to Him. He’s waiting for all of us with open arms.

Called. Chosen. Commissioned.

/ Jodie / 2 Comments

Matthew 4:19

19 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me…

Matthew 22:14

14 “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

Matthew 28:19

19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

A little while ago, a local college student asked to get together with me. She was searching for someone older in the faith to disciple her and wondered if I’d be interested. I agreed to meet with her on campus to discuss the idea over a cup of coffee. As we sat down together at a table outside the library, I soaked in the Florida sunshine as she started a monologue about all the things she was doing for the Lord. At some point during her sermon, I interrupted to inquire about her story. She fumbled to find the right words as I asked a few questions about her relationship with her parents, siblings and our Father, Son and Spirit. They weren’t complicated questions. Just simple things that pertained to BE-ing a disciple of Jesus. The conversation stalled, so she quickly changed the subject to her fiancé. They were planning to enter full time ministry together after graduation. She explained that her man recently found a spiritual father because he was struggling with porn, so she thought it would be a good idea for her to have a spiritual mom too! As we talked about their relationship, she admitted they were having sex, and occasionally they smoked weed together at parties.

As our conversation came to a close, I assured her that I was willing to meet again if she understood what kind of spiritual mother I am. I’m a childlike mom who’s filled with compassion and cares for the broken hearted. I feed the hungry and the hurting, because I’m hungry and hurting… and I’m healed and delivered by the love of the Father, the sacrifice of the Son, and the power of His Spirit! I’m not a mom that continually affirms and applauds gifted kids. I’m grateful for God’s grace and the gifts He’s given all His children, but I preach Bible so that good fruit may be produced. I am called, chosen and commissioned to BE and make disciples who love the Lord with all their heart.

Unfortunately, I never heard from that young woman again.

But she’s not the only kid wandering around in the wilderness here. Many have been called to this land flowing with milk and honey. Many live here as orphans. But a few have chosen to follow Jesus down the narrow road alongside spiritual siblings, parents and grandparents. A few have chosen to sit at the generational table He’s preparing for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

The sad reality is, there are many breastfed babies being trained for service in the Father’s house, but they don’t have a clue where the kitchen is! They haven’t been taught how to purchase, plan or prep a meal. They haven’t been taught to sit and share with their Savior and Lord. They haven’t been taught how to eat His body and drink His blood every…single… day. They’re hungry. And they don’t even realize they’re starving to death!!!

Question is: who’s gonna feed them?

It’s time for parents, like Peter, to strengthen the body of Christ. Yep, I’m talking to you. I know you’ve been guilty of denying Jesus because you’ve feared man, not God. But let me remind you: He’s interceding for you!

Repent & return to Him.

He’s called you.

He’s chosen you.

He’s commissioned you to GO, make disciples!

Care for and feed the lambs & sheep. Invite them to breakfast, lunch or dinner. Sit at the table and listen to their stories. Tell them yours. Preach the Word of God to them. Pray with and for them. Pursue their hearts. Prophesy dry bones to life in their mind, will and emotions.

You know where the kitchen is. You know how to sit at the table. You know how to eat the scroll. It’s time to share your leftovers with the next generation.  

NEW BOOK Available Today!!!

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

For nearly two decades, I’ve periodically written & posted biblically based blogs @ deepintothewater.com

Never, ever, ever did I have any desire to write a book about my life.

God, however, had other plans.

After hearing His still, small voice, I put literal pen to paper and began pouring my heart out in my journal.

8 years later (a significant number for me), I felt prompted to publish some of those pages.

So, welcome to my house! Come on in…the doors open. Allow me to introduce you to The Restorer of Homes.

https://a.co/d/8NQVDsx

A Prayer (fighting the good fight)

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

1 Timothy 6:11-14

11 … Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses. 13 And I charge you before God, who gives life to all, and before Christ Jesus, who gave a good testimony before Pontius Pilate, 14 that you obey this command without wavering. Then no one can find fault with you from now until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.

God, YOU said that when we fight the good fight of faith, it’s not by our strength or our power, but by YOUR Spirit. That means: we have to SEEK first YOUR Kingdom. Then all the things, all the plans for how to resist the devil will be given to us. Only then will we be able to go – and possess the land YOU promised. When we humble ourselves, seek YOUR face and turn from our wicked ways, no power or principality of darkness will harm us. No weapon formed against us will prosper. When we submit to YOU, as children, in childlike faith, we prove that YOU are our Father. A chosen few are doing that. But many that are called are running around like orphans with poopy diapers, swinging swords they aren’t strong enough to handle. Oh, that we would grow up and become spiritually mature sons and daughters!

How many times have YOU forgiven us our trespasses against YOU? In our ignorance we’ve believed we’re grown- just because we’re gifted! Heaven, help us. Many of us are doing good works; using spiritual gifts with gusto as explosive diarrhea overflows our sagging diapers. Our sacrifices have been detestable to YOU. They stink like week old dirty diapers! YOU are not interested in our Simon the Sorcerer routine; performing miracles, signs and wonders for the crowd….without knowing YOU. Without loving YOU! It’s obvious: we love ourselves and others more. The proof is evidence against us: we refuse to obey YOU. We’ve been content performing for love instead of from love.

When will we STOP?

When will we BE STILL?

When will we LAY DOWN and let our parents (the spiritually mature believers YOU have placed in our lives) help change us?

When we confess that we’ve rejected YOU as Father. When we repent for resisting YOUR authority. When we realize we’ve been deceived, doubted and followed the advice of the father of lies. “Don’t tell me what to do!” is the mantra of his children. They’ve declared their declaration of independence in their hearts. They’ve chosen to remain orphans; independent, impetuous and impatient… willing to survive alone, as individuals.

Lord, forgive us. We do not know what we are doing! We need a spanking. We need a time out. We need to be grounded. We need our toy swords to be taken away for a season to rest, recover and be restored to YOU: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We need to become HOLY as YOU are holy! Then we need to be reconciled to our fathers and mothers & brothers and sisters in Christ.

We confess all our crap to you, Lord! We repent for acting like orphans. We repent for being rebellious children. We declare a new declaration of DEPENDANCE on YOU, our good Father. We ask for YOUR helper- YOUR Spirit to lead us into all Truth. Change our hearts as YOU change our diapers! Train us in the way we should go. Potty train us. Teach us to grow up! We wanna become spiritually mature. We want to develop into healthy & holy kids, teenagers and adults. And when we are able, we ask that YOU show us how to parent the young ones as YOU have parented us; teaching us to obey all YOU have commanded.

Amen.

Psalm 96 Records

/ Jodie / 1 Comment

Psalm 96

Amplified Bible

1 O sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth!

2 Sing to the Lord, bless (affectionately praise) His name; show forth His salvation from day to day.

3 Declare His glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all the peoples.

4 For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; He is to be reverently feared and worshiped above all [so–called] gods.

5 For all the gods of the nations are [lifeless] idols, but the Lord made the heavens.

6 Honor and majesty are before Him; strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.

7 Ascribe to the Lord, O you families of the peoples, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

8 Give to the Lord the glory due His name; bring an offering and come [before Him] into His courts.

9 O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness; tremble before and reverently fear Him, all the earth.

10 Say among the nations that the Lord reigns; the world also is established, so that it cannot be moved; He shall judge and rule the people righteously and with justice.

11 Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all the things which fill it;

12 Let the field be exultant, and all that is in it! Then shall all the trees of the wood sing for joy

13 Before the Lord, for He comes, for He comes to judge and govern the earth! He shall judge the world with righteousness and justice and the peoples with His faithfulness and truth.

Today is one of those marker moments in life. Feeling compelled to build an altar to the Lord, this blog post is written as a remembrance of God’s love, His goodness and His faithfulness to our family.

Our third born daughter, Malorie Jane Bullard released her debut album entitled “Close to You” at midnight on November 3, 2023! As a mother, I am proud of her accomplishments and grateful for the many gifts God has given. But there’s so much more to her song story than notes and lyrics.

In the summer of 2002, I suffered a traumatic miscarriage with my third pregnancy. When I began hemorrhaging at home, I knew something was dreadfully wrong. After checking in with my OB/GYN that confirmed no heartbeat, we were immediately sent to the hospital for an emergency D&C. The doctor warned me that the situation was complicated and to prepare for the worse-  I may not conceive any more children. When I woke from surgery, I was weeping uncontrollably. The nurse tried to comfort me, to no avail. I went home stunned, in shock, and deeply grieved for the large family I believe God had promised. At the same time, I was grateful for the two little girls I held in my arms during recovery.

That fall, I discovered I was pregnant again! The doctor confirmed, but warned again of the complications I had suffered and that statistically I was at greater risk of another miscarriage. In order to ensure a healthy pregnancy, weekly blood tests were required. At some point, I decided I was done being afraid. I told God I would trust Him, regardless of the outcome. At 18 weeks’ gestation, an ultra-sound confirmed the miraculous! Safe inside her mother’s womb, a sweet baby girl was growing in the shelter of His wings. On July 3, 2003 Malorie Jane Bullard made her silent debut into the world amidst all the noise; I was screaming and speaking in unknown languages having suffered horrendous back labor and unplanned natural childbirth! Holding our little bundle of joy there in the hospital, we were completely unaware of the challenges that lie ahead…

For the first four months of life, she screamed & cried uncontrollably, projectile vomiting after every feeding. We were unable to sooth or comfort her in any way. Even while nursing, she seemed distant and unable to bond with me. I also cried uncontrollably as we made multiple trips to doctors and hospitals for help. We tried every formula on the market, medication and expert recommendation. Again, at some point I decided I was done being afraid. If she had to continue to endure such pain with projectile vomiting, she would do so in her mother’s arms, drinking her mother’s milk. At four months old, we supplemented her feedings with rice cereal which helped weigh the contents of her stomach down long enough to digest more nutrients. She was eighteen months old before the raging reflux and vomiting ceased. By then, however, we were in the midst of another storm…

I had noticed Malorie wouldn’t make eye contact with me. Or anyone else. She seemed to live in her own little world. And when others interrupted that space, she became violent. She relied on me for her basic needs, but there was no connection. For the first four years of her life she remained silent. She did eventually learn to say “ma-ma” and “da-da,” and a few other unrecognizable words. Countless doctors and specialists ignored my cries for help. So, I began doing my own research. Information about Autism was just beginning to be published and so I pushed and pushed and pushed doctors until a first-year physician’s assistant FINALLY listened and referred us to UNC Hospitals for an evaluation. Upon completing a 25-page application separately, my husband and I joined hundreds of other families on a two-year waiting list.

In the meantime, God called us to withdraw our oldest two girls from public school to homeschool. Continuing Autism research in my spare time (ha ha!) I discovered many practical tools that helped Malorie thrive at home. When it was time for her to start Kindergarten, she joined our homeschool. Even though she was still non-verbal, she listened and learned alongside her sisters every day. Later that year, Malorie was diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Seated around a large conference table with highly educated experts, they questioned her miraculous improvement. She had started talking, interacting with us, a few others, and showing a profound love of music. After noticing her stimming/flapping when music was on in the house, I intentionally began playing classical and children’s tapes for the girls during the day, in the car, and every night at bedtime. And when our second oldest began piano lessons a few years later, I decided to sign Malorie up too!

A songwriter since age 9, Malorie Jane Bullard is no longer silent.

She was made to sing a new song!

Isaiah 40:1-5

Amplified Bible

40 Comfort, comfort My people, says your God.

2 Speak tenderly to the heart of Jerusalem, and cry to her that her time of service and her warfare are ended, that [her punishment is accepted and] her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received [punishment] from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.

3 A voice of one who cries: Prepare in the wilderness the way of the Lord [clear away the obstacles]; make straight and smooth in the desert a highway for our God!

4 Every valley shall be lifted and filled up, and every mountain and hill shall be made low; and the crooked and uneven shall be made straight and level, and the rough places a plain.

5 And the glory (majesty and splendor) of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.

Abandoned

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Psalm 22

1 My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
    Why are you so far away when I groan for help?

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…” I was a pre-school teacher at a Christian school- for a short season. I know what you’re thinking: she does NOT have the personality type for that! You’re right. I don’t. Thankfully, I was also a student of the Lord at that time.

During recess one sunny day, our (then) two-year-old had a meltdown on the playground when her older sister returned to class. At the end of the day, her teacher informed me of the episode, so on the way home I inquired of our little smiley girl,

“Sweetheart, what happened at school today?”

“I FRODA FIT!”

“You threw a fit?!”

“Yep.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because…

she LEFT ME!!!!!!”

I understood her frustration. I still understand her frustration. In her mind, her favorite person on the planet abandoned her- leaving her alone and afraid.

My mind sometimes plays the same trick on me: I feel like God has abandoned me. I feel alone. And afraid. I know its not true, but occasionally, my emotions overwhelm my thinking and I forget that He will never leave or forsake me.

More than two decades later in a promised land “far, far away…” I became a high school teacher at a Homeschool Co-op for a season. I know what you’re thinking: she does NOT have the personality type for that! You’re right. I don’t. Thankfully, I was also a student of the Lord at that time. Annnnnnd, wouldn’t ya know it? I was given the opportunity to have a few of my own meltdowns on the playground.

Because…..

I had been feeling abandoned. And alone. And afraid.

So, I did what any spiritually mature momma would do: I threw a temper tantrum. Actually, I threw several of them. It’s what my heart needed. I had to be honest with the Lord. Not at school, among students & fellow staff members, but in the secret place.

Because…

Not everyone on the playground is equipped to handle every emotional episode His children encounter. But, if we will become a student, He will provide teachers that can help us process the broken-hearted places of our soul. Some are licensed counselors. Some are practicing therapists. Some are mothers or fathers in the body of Christ. If we will seek them, we will find them; spiritually mature parents who will pray & prophesy over us, as we pour out our complaint to the Lord, like David did.

Like Jesus did.

My fellow sojourner,

Do you need to throw a temper tantrum?

Go on.

It’s ok to GROAN!

Ask the Lord for help.

He’s a Good Shepherd.

He’ll let you lay down in green pastures for a snack and a nap.

He’ll let you drink from His water fountain.

He’ll lead you through that playground.

His rod & staff will comfort your fears.

And, He WILL restore your sweet soul.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3     He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
    bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
    My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
    all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Jell-O (part 2)

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Ezekiel 36:26

 I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh…

I inherited my mom’s 1970’s lime green, Jell-O Tupperware mold when she passed away in 2021. Throughout my childhood and into adulthood, my mother, and her mother before her, created masterpieces filled with fruit and other deliciousness for family reunions and holidays in that little piece of plastic. I stood in wonder watching their expertise as they cooked and cooled their concoctions with ease. Once the Jello-O was done, they broke the seal of the mold, then rapidly inverted its contents onto a fancy dish; displaying their handiwork for all of us to enjoy. My girls and I perform the same magnificent routine every Thanksgiving when we make their Mema’s famous cranberry Jell-O recipe.

Bullard Pack Thanksgiving 2021

If you’ve ever made Jell-O straight-outta-the box you know that boiling water is required to dissolve its contents. In order to prepare the mixture, ongoing heat must be applied. Only after a specified amount of time under intense pressure can the Jell-O finally be removed from the pot and transferred into a dish to begin its cooling process in the fridge overnight. During such time, the wiggly jiggly substance conforms to its container.

Such is the case with my heart.

In this season, as the Lord increases the temperature to the boiling point, I admit: my flesh grumbles & complains a little (ok- a LOT!). Mercifully, I’ve also come to my senses by the power of His Spirit, and submit my will to this divine pressure. Instead of ignoring or idolizing the explosive emotions that emerge from the heat in my heart, I’m learning to press into the pain. As I do, I discover, like David did in his Psalms of lament; the Lord hears my cry. In these moments of raw vulnerability, I am laying down in green pastures… and He’s restoring my soul.  

I believe this, in part, is what it means to be a disciple.

Being.

Sitting.

At the feet of Jesus.  

Praying; in secret and in community.

Submitting to the Word; in secret and in community.

Worshipping; in secret and in community.

I’m also in counseling.

And I’m seeking wise advice (lots of couch convos with my best friend [my man], and a few trusted leaders & friends).

Making Jell-O is a process, my friend……as is transforming the heart.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.