Children

Tree Planted Along a Riverbank

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Jeremiah 17:5-10

5This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,
    who rely on human strength
    and turn their hearts away from the Lord.

6 They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,
 with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salty land.

7“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
 and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.

8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
  with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
 or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.

9“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
 and desperately wicked.
 Who really knows how bad it is?

10 But I, the Lord, search all hearts
and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
 according to what their actions deserve.” IMG_2963Years ago, during a Sunday morning worship service, God showed me a vision of a tree planted along a riverbank. It had incredibly long roots that were reaching deep into the water, but some of its roots were also climbing up the bank, towards a cluster of trees planted on top of the raven. The above mentioned verse immediately came to mind when I saw the roots that reached deep into the water, but it would be many seasons later before I discovered why some of the trees root system was reaching away from its life source. After recording a horrible sketch of the mental image in my journal, I didn’t think any more about it, until a few months ago when I was praying about moving my blogs to another site. God reminded me of that tree and when I finally dug out my old journal and flipped to the sought after page, I realized that tree was ME….with roots that are often divided. I’ve been a follower of Jesus for nearly 15 years. In the early days of my pilgrimage, I tried to do all the “right things;” read my bible, pray (alone- NEVER in a group!), attend worship services, serve on a ministry team, join a bible study….which were all necessary disciplines that I needed to submit to, but they caused me to only know God in an intellectual sense. I was learning to love God with my mind, but my soul and strength were climbing up the riverbank towards the other trees. My desperately wicked heart was torn between surrendering my will to my Creator and surrendering to what I wanted. Once I chose to submit to Jesus’ call to repent, my heart softened to the revelation that in order to truly love God, I must obey His commandments- all of them. In surrendering my will to His, I began to fall in love with the Lord and He began to show me the barren wildernesses of my soul. In what has been a supernatural, marvelous journey of restoration and redemption, God has retracted some of the roots that were going astray and retrained them to turn back towards His living water. Despite life’s circumstances, when I choose to reach deep into the water and trust the Lord (not mere humans) with my life, marriage, parenting, etcetera, I am not bothered or worried by long months of drought. Instead, I am blessed AND able to remain confident that He alone is my refuge and my fortress.

Psalm 62:5-8

5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
 for God is our refuge.

Psalm 91:1-2

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
 will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
 my God, in whom I trust.”

Wait

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Isaiah 30:18-21

18 So the Lord must wait for you to come to him
    so he can show you his love and compassion.
For the Lord is a faithful God.
    Blessed are those who wait for his help.

19 O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem,
  you will weep no more.
He will be gracious if you ask for help.
    He will surely respond to the sound of your cries.

20 Though the Lord gave you adversity for food
  and suffering for drink,
he will still be with you to teach you.
    You will see your teacher with your own eyes.

21 Your own ears will hear him.
  Right behind you a voice will say,
“This is the way you should go,”
    whether to the right or to the left.

I will be the first to admit; I am not a very patient person. Time is often my enemy. I hate to waste it and I hate not knowing if what I’m doing with it is advantageous – or not.

Therefore, I am certain that my current wait time is another opportunity for the Lord to teach me His ways. Some days I’m an honor student, eager to hear His instruction and complete my assignments. Other days I’m a rebellious schoolgirl who would prefer to skip class and do what I want to do!

IMG_6013I, like many, have a dream. Mine is of a home, large enough for our family, our school and our ministry, with lots of land and moving water.

When Doug was laid off in 2010, I assumed the dream was dead. When he started contract work the next year, I began to hope again. When a permanent job offer came along the following year I began daydreaming about all the ways I, like Disney, could make all my dreams come true! After I devised a plan, I tried to convince Doug to buy into it- and when he didn’t immediately comply I began talking with our children about it! Control Freak? Ehem….. yes. Looking back over that season, I now realize that I was looking at my circumstances for the answer, instead of to the One who holds all the answers.

I’ve since repented for not coming to God for help, for being impatient regarding my wait time and for not trusting that HE will make my dream come true in HIS time, if this dream is HIS dream for me. I also apologized to my husband and our children for dragging them into my rebellion.

And so, in this current season, I continue to come to Him

And wait….

And feel His love and compassion

And wait…

And know that He is faithful

And wait…

And cry out for an answer

And wait….

And listen to His teachings

And wait…..

And one day, when it is time, He will say: “this is the way you should go…” And I will obey Him, whether its my dream- or not, because I love Him and I know that He will bless me when I surrender my life- and my dreams to Him.

Isaiah 30:22-26

22 Then you will destroy all your silver idols
  and your precious gold images.
You will throw them out like filthy rags,
    saying to them, “Good riddance!”

23 Then the Lord will bless you with rain at planting time. There will be wonderful harvests and plenty of pastureland for your livestock. 24 The oxen and donkeys that till the ground will eat good grain, its chaff blown away by the wind. 25 In that day, when your enemies are slaughtered and the towers fall, there will be streams of water flowing down every mountain and hill. 26 The moon will be as bright as the sun, and the sun will be seven times brighter—like the light of seven days in one! So it will be when the Lord begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them.

Humble Yourself

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James 4:4-10

 4 You adulterers![a] Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. 5 What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us is filled with envy?[b]6 But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,

“God opposes the proud
 but favors the humble.”[c]

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

There are several songs I remember singing as a teenager during youth group meetings at Glenkirk Presbyterian Church in Southern California. One chorus in particular keeps replaying through my mind because, I believe, it’s a principal that God wants to solidify in my heart.

“Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord….”

(echo) “Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord….”

“Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord….”

(echo) “Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord….”

“And He will raise you higher and higher and higher and higher…. And He will raise you higher and higher and higher and higher….”

I, like most of us, like being praised. It’s nice to be acknowledged for all the hard work I do for others. But that desire for recognition is pride…and when I seek that feeling of worthiness from man, woman, or child, God opposes me.

IMG_7616Consider the role of mother. From the moment of conception, the child within is on the take. In order to ensure its survival, the growing fetus needs to take up room inside our bodies to develop and take in nutrients to sustain life. After the child is born it continues to take our time, our energy, our talents – and sometimes even our minds! Motherhood is often a sacrificial, thank-less job.

Not until I became a mother did I realize the sacrifice my mother gave in order to give me life. Most of her efforts went unacknowledged and unappreciated until I was an adult.

Not until I became a Christ follower did I realize the sacrifice my Savior gave in order to give me eternal life in heaven -and life to the full on this earth. Most of His efforts when unacknowledged and unappreciated….. until I began learning how Jesus humbled himself in the sight of the Father over and over and over again. Never once did He seek the praises of man. Instead, He sought only to fulfill the will of the One who sent Him; to give his life as a sacrifice on behalf of those who didn’t deserve it. Yet, in the end, God raised His Son from the dead and lifted Him to the seat of honor, beside His throne.

In His grace and generosity, God promises to do the same for me. As I continue to crucify my flesh and humble myself in the sight of the Lord, He will lift me up in honor. Some of that honor will be for this world, but only to Advance His Kingdom and make His name great. Some will be reserved for the day that I stand before my Father’s throne. And in that moment, the only acknowledgement that will matter will be from the One who created me in my mother’s womb.

Divine Discipline

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Hebrews 12:5-11

5 And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children?[a] He said, “My child,[b] don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
 and don’t give up when he corrects you.

6 For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”[c] 

7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? 8 If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. 9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?[d]

10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

IMG_6038

Confession #1: I really dislike having to discipline our children- especially now that they are older. When they were toddlers it was much easier for me to say “no!” and then pop their little hand or hiney if they disobeyed. Occasionally they would cry, but moments later, their tears would dry up and they’d be happy little children again, treating me like the GREATEST MOMMY IN THE WORLD!!!

As they’ve approached their formative and adolescent years their character has continued to be molded and refined by life experiences. Frequently, they are faced with the difficult task of choosing to assert their own will, or crucify their flesh, submitting to the authority of their parents. When they choose to succumb to their sinful nature & make a foolish decision, they suffer the consequences.  Now, when punishment is handed out, I rarely get a quick cry and rapid re-instatement of MOM of the YEAR. Instead, I may receive the silent treatment or the angry eye or they may withdraw their affection from me for what feels like an eternity. Rejection from anyone is painful- but when it comes from the heart of your child, the negative feelings it evokes can sometimes be unbearable. Yet, Gods truth still stands, and if I love them, I must discipline them.

Proverbs 13:24

24 Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Confession #2: I really dislike being disciplined by God. As I reflect back on my toddler years in the Lord, He was gentle in His punishment; a little pop on the hand and a firm “no!” But as I’ve grown and attempted time and time again to assert my own will, I’ve often suffered greater consequences of my disobedience. None is more painful than the silent treatment that I have established between us as a result of my pride.  When heaven is silent, I begin thinking…. “does He still love me?”

Confession #3: After 15 years of following Him, my mind is still trying to convince my heart that everything He does (or doesn’t do) is because He loves me with a supernatural, pure, righteous, death defying love. His blessings are a tangible evidence of it and so is His divine discipline.

And so, I must continue to crucify my flesh in order to submit to His authority over my life AND I must continue to love, train and discipline each of our children when they disobey. For I know, the plans He has for me- and them- are good and one day, there will be a peaceful harvest of right living in all of our lives!

At Home with the Lord

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Matthew 14:13-21

13 As soon as Jesus heard the news, he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone…..

After I heard the news of my grandmother’s passing today, I wanted desperately to retreat to a remote area to be alone; our master bedroom. It’s where I go every day to read God’s Word, pray, worship, journal, throw a fit before God, repent, rejoice, cry…….and so I thought it was fitting that I escaped back to my room this afternoon to sit in my lazy boy recliner (my grandparents owned lazy boy recliners my entire life) to praise God for taking Granny to her eternal home, while simultaneously grieving her departure from this one.

Grandma Scheel (later named “Granny” when she became a great-grandmother) was the quintessential grandmother for me. She baked chocolate chip cookies, made lemon meringue pies, showed me how to play Solitaire & Yahtzee, scratched my back and would laugh hysterically when we watched the “The Golden Girls” together. She provided squishy hugs (she was nice and round in the middle) when I needed to feel loved, but she was also willing to supply some much needed tough love when I acted like a brat when loosing at my favorite marble board game (it’s no coincidence that our daughter, who is named after her, shares not only her love of sweets, but an uncanny ability to show tough love, when needed!)

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Cleanse Me

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Psalm 19:12-14

12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
 Cleanse me from these hidden faults.

13 Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
    Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
    and innocent of great sin.

14 May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

There’s a common misconception among those who visit our home. Repeatedly we hear “your house is so CLEAN- how do you keep it that way with 4 kids?!” in which I reply “I like to keep things tidy…but if you look close, you’ll see its not really clean!”

When I was a little girl, I passed over the top of the toilet, sink and shower with my sponge just enough to make it LOOK like I had actually cleaned the bathroom. But my mother wasn’t fooled. She frequently had to make me go back and re-do all of it.

Our kids are the same way. They wipe the surface of the fixtures, but they really don’t scrub them in order to clean all the hidden yuck lurking beneath. Perhaps they just don’t see it. Perhaps they’re too lazy to do the work. Or, perhaps they’d rather get their chore done as quickly as possible to do something more FUN!!! It’s probably all of the above. I should know, because I still do the same thing when it comes to cleaning the master bathroom shower. In fact, I’ve even started asking my husband to clean it for us (he’s a much better detailed cleaner than I am anyway….but really, I just don’t wanna do it!!!)

It’s a similar tactic the enemy uses on me time and time again to keep me from seeing the sins lurking in my heart. Sure, I may “confess” my general sins in order to wipe the surface, but often I’m too lazy to ask God for specifics, so that I may sincerely repent. To be completely honest, most of the time I just don’t feel like allowing Him to expose the yuck. It’s much easier to ignore it or blame someone else for the dirt- and try to force them to clean it up.

Let’s face it; cleaning the bathroom takes time, effort and a lot of scrubbing. But, when the hidden yuck is removed and the surface begins to sparkle like diamonds it can finally be used – and enjoyed – for its intended purpose.

If I truly want God to cleanse me I must be willing to invest the time and effort for the Holy Spirit to remove the yuck from my soul….AND I must be willing to crucify my flesh and submit my will to His. Only then will love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control shine like the Son on the surface of my life.

1 John 1:9-10

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for the yuck to build back up in the bathroom….so I need to keep the cleaning bucket ready for touch up cleans, as well as the regularly scheduled deep cleans that are required. The same is true for my soul; cleansing isn’t a one-time event- it’s an ongoing, life long process.

The Blessings of the Locusts

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Joel 2:12-14, 25-26

12 That is why the Lord says,
“Turn to me now, while there is time.
Give me your hearts.
Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. 13 Don’t tear your clothing in your grief,
but tear your hearts instead.”
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is merciful and compassionate,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He is eager to relent and not punish. 14 Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve,
sending you a blessing instead of this curse.

25 The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. 26 Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.

I have encountered multiple armies of locusts in the field of my life, my marriage and my parenting. Some of them destroyed only a portion of the crops and some have stripped every sprig of growth, leaving nothing but bare soil. Some of the locusts swarmed me, leaving me feeling completely overwhelmed and helpless. Some of them hopped all over me, becoming a pesky nuisance that distracted me and caused me to live in constant fear, not knowing what direction they would come to pounce on me again. Some stripped away everything of value to me, leaving me feeling absolutely hopeless about my future. And some cut my soul so deeply that death seemed to be the only possible relief. Some of those locusts invaded my field as result of my sin….and some trespassed on my land because of someone else’s.

At times I have yelled violently, shaking my fists at the enemy for sending these vicious attacks, but only recently have I realized that the enemy can do nothing without God allowing him to. Every army of locusts that are dispatched to my field MUST be given permission to destroy by the Creator of the universe. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this life happens to me without passing through the hand of God Almighty first.

It’s an earth shaking revelation to know that God has allowed, or even sent destroying armies of locusts to obliterate almost every living thing in my field. But, I am slowly beginning to understand that every trial, every heartbreak, every loss, every triumph, every devastation, every abundant harvest is from Him and FOR Him. And, every locust sent is for my ultimate good because it draws me closer to Himself and causes another area of my flesh to die so that I can grow to be more like His Son. He endured every swarming, hopping, stripping and cutting locust on my behalf, so that I may have life to the full……. and if that weren’t enough, He promises to restore what was lost to the locusts, as I return to Him and repent.

Lord, I praise you for the blessings of the locusts in my life. You are loving, you are righteous, you are healer, you are deliverer, you are redeemer, you are restorer …and you work ALL things for my good.