On the Shore and On the Sea

June 3, 2022June 3, 2022 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Matthew 4:18-20

New Living Translation

¹⁸One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. ¹⁹Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” ²⁰And they left their nets at once and followed him.

Like Peter, when the Lord first called me over twenty years ago, I obeyed; leaving my nets on the shore at once to follow Him.

And, when He called me to move to Florida, I obeyed; stepping out of the boat and onto the sea in the midst of a storm of people’s opinions.

Now my faith, like Peter’s, is being tested.

Matthew 14:22-31

New Living Translation

²²Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home.²³After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

²⁴Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. ²⁵About three o’clock in the morning^[a] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. ²⁶When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

²⁷But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!^[b]”

²⁸Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

²⁹“Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the strong^[c] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

³¹Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

A few years before our move, I received a prophetic word from one of the elders in our church. He foretold that I would step into a stormy season and like Peter, I would begin to sink. He encouraged me not to be afraid- reminding me that the Lord would be with me. He said that in the end, I would be OK. Then he pulled out his phone to show me a picture that captured what he was seeing by the Spirit: https://www.amazon.com/HavenLight-Yongsung-Kim-Painting-Reaching/dp/B076HSJBL8?th=1 (I bought a copy of that print when we moved; I’m literally staring at it as I write!) I’ve never reacted so strongly to a prophecy. Quite frankly, it pissed me off!!! How dare this religious leader tell ME that my faith would fail!?

Spiritual pride, much?!

Absolutely. It may have been hidden below the surface of my self-righteous heart at the time, but the Lord knew it was there.

Nine months into our Promised Land journey I started realizing that storm was churning in the sea of my soul. All of my coping mechanisms of control were failing. And I came face to face with the reality that I was sinking….

Staring at the wind and waves, I began to lose sight of the One who beckoned me to, “come.” I cried out, “Lord, HELP!” Desperate attempts to save myself led to sinking further and further into the darkness. I couldn’t pray it away. I couldn’t cast it out. I couldn’t get delivered from it. Exhausted from trying to tread water on my own, my faith was failing. Grasping for answers, I contemplated another way out. Maybe I needed others to pray it away or cast it out or deliver me from evil? None of it was working. Don’t get me wrong- this is all biblical! (If you’ve followed my posts, you know I am a HUGE fan of Spirit led Healing & Deliverance Ministry! I’ve received & walked with many on their journey of freedom in Christ over the last 10 years.) But it’s NOT what the Spirit was saying. No quick fix, miracle, sign or wonder was coming to rescue me. Instead, in His goodness and for His glory, He’s allowing me to walk through this valley of the shadow of death called: PROCESS.

This PROCESS is painful.

But it’s necessary. And it’s beautiful.

Just like it was for Peter.

Yesterday, after my counseling appointment (part of the PROCESS) I stopped by Lake Morton. As I sat on the shore, feeding the birds, I watched another summer storm roll in. As the wind blew and the waves moved across the surface of the water, I felt such peace.

For a brief moment, my soul settled as I realized, He is with me. He will not leave me. He will not forsake me. AND, He is seated at the right hand of the Father interceding for me!

Yes, I am in the midst of a storm.

Yes, I am being sifted like wheat.

But… I am gonna be okay.

His Word is true!

He IS a good Shepherd; on the shore and on the sea.

Are you in the midst of a PROCESS, my friend?

Let me know how I can partner with the Lord in prayer for you.

Please share your story in the comments section below.

“The difficulty in surrendering to process is that there is no road map. I can’t tell you what you will experience along the way, or who you will be when you get there. I can tell you that it isn’t going to be easy, that it may get worse before it gets better, and that the alternatives to taking this journey are worse than the journey itself. These alternatives may include depression, prolonged numbness, decreased satisfaction with your remaining relationships, addiction, emotional difficulties that manifest as physical symptoms, or significantly less zest for living…the one thing that I do know with certainty from my own struggles and from being a midwife to countless others as they face their dark sides: Feelings that find expression change. And THAT change is the process that brings transformation.”

-The Jewish Book of Grief & Healing

I MUST complain!

May 29, 2021 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Job 7:11

¹¹“I cannot keep from speaking.
I must express my anguish.
My bitter soul must complain.

“One of the most consistent teachings of Scripture is that moments of difficulty will come. Rather than grumbling, we should pray and push forward, trusting God to expand our souls.”

This morning as I read the excerpt above from a devotional written by a well-known Christian leader, my eyes fixated on the words, “we should.” As I paused to consider the proceeding phrase, “rather than grumbling,” I became angry. I agreed with the sentiment of what the author was saying, “we should” pray. However, I found myself adamantly opposed to the statement that suggested what we should not do: grumble– or as Job puts it, complain. In the current season of my life, I have felt the sting of familiar religious phrases from the friends of Job who tell me what I should and should not do to end my suffering. The words they communicated may have been true, but they did not taste like the sweet fruit of love.

“We should” reeks of a religious spirit. Its motivation is that of obligation to the law, not love. Jesus never taught His disciples to perform the ten commandments perfectly to please Him. Instead, He invited them- He invites us- to love Him; thus, fulfilling the most important commandment in the law of Moses. The Lords desire is that we trust Him with all of our heart (mind, will and emotions).

I know about loving Him with some of my heart. I was what some would call a strong-willed child. And that strong will didn’t go away when I was born again! As a young believer, I was on my way to becoming a well-respected religious leader. A Pharisee of Pharisees. I worked diligently at transforming my mind. I disciplined my will to submit, submit, submit. But I was absolutely void of any emotion in my relationship with the Lord. I had spent an entire lifetime learning to stuff my feelings. I knew how to pray and push on. That is, until 2011, when I saw JESUS face to face while receiving healing and deliverance ministry from others in the body of Christ. During that encounter, I was SET FREE from emotional bondage! By the power of His Spirit, I could no longer keep from speaking. I HAD to express my anguish. My bitter soul HAD to complain. As I did so, the Light of the world exposed what was hidden in darkness, thus releasing a floodgate of tears that as Corey Russell says, turned into liquid prayers.

My friend, I submit to you that we SHOULD grumble, complain, throw a hissy fit, or have a temper tantrum! God already knows what’s in our hearts. Why are we so afraid of expressing it to Him? Do we fear His rejection? Do we believe He will leave or forsake us if we don’t perform our religious duties perfectly? Or do we fear what our friends will think or say if we absolutely lose it? I encourage you to read to the end of Job’s story in the book that bears His name. Yes, God rebuked Job for his pride, but He did not condemn him for expressing what was in his heart as he suffered great loss.

Let us, like Job, bare our souls to the One who knows every intimate detail of our lives. Let us trust that when we have a 4-year-old meltdown in our room, our mothers garden, or the Walmart parking lot, He can handle it. Let us believe He is who He says He is: comforter, healer, deliverer. Let us remember, He is a good Father, able to give us good gifts and a good spanking, when we need it. Let us be like little children, expressing the good, bad and ugly in His presence, without fear. This is how we learn to love Him with ALL of our hearts.

Valley of the Shadow

May 14, 2021 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd,
I ^[a]shall not want.
²He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside ^[b]still waters.
³He restores my soul;
He guides me in the ^[c]paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴Even though I walk through the ^[d]valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no ^[e]evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
⁵You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You ^[f]have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
⁶^[g]Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will ^[h]dwell in the house of the Lord ^[i]forever.

Growing up in the Presbyterian and Methodist church, I learned the 23^rdPsalm by merely repeating it over and over again during Sunday Services. Everyone knows the passage – even unbelievers can recite it from memory at funerals. We did so at my mother’s Celebration of Life last month. I know the words, but His Spirit is making the Word known to me in the valley of the shadow of death.

It seems as if everything in my life is dying. I am surrounded by:

The death of my mother.

The death of our church community.

The death of our ministry.

The death of relationships with family and friends.

The death of our home in North Carolina.

The death of unmet expectations as offers are rejected on homes we’ve bid on in Florida.

In the valley, there are shadows of death. In the shadows, we are surrounded by darkness. In the darkness, our vision is limited. And what we cannot see, we will fear.

I’ve discovered that when I react to fear, I will either dismiss or deny pain. If I choose to dismiss the pain of death, I will rationalize my feelings by comparing myself to others, thus determining that I shouldn’t be depressed, angry, or disappointed. In that headspace, I belittle my suffering when stacking it against those that, from my perspective, are enduring greater hardships. If I chose to deny the pain of death by pretending it’s not happening, I will suppress my feelings, or try to avoid them altogether. The strain of carrying such a heavy burden will inevitably lead to a collapse- physically or emotionally.

With each passing day, I realize more and more that I cannot go through this valley alone. God has been faithful. He has never left me. He will not forsake me. He is with me, walking me through it. Although there are times I want to, I know that If I try to run, I’ll miss the green pastures and still waters. So, He is making melie down in the grass to receive rest and rejuvenation. He is leading me to stillness; to drink, so that I may be refreshed and restored.

My friend, I was made- YOU were made for intimacy with the Lord. But let’s be honest. In our busy, distracted, self-important lives, we rarely take the time to pursue Him. Heck, we barely devote any time to genuinely pursuing righteous relationship with others! But isn’t it interesting? When someone dies, our calendar miraculously clears. We’ll take the time to be with friends and family in their grief. We’ll spend the money on airfare. We’ll rent a car. We’ll book a hotel. We’ll take a meal. We’ll sit and talk and laugh and weep with those who weep. Death causes us to see, if only for a moment- the reality of life. It’s in the shadow of death that we ponder- and perhaps ask the hard questions. It’s in the shadow that our ego is revealed. It’s in the shadow that He uses the rod and staff to discipline us. It’s in the shadow that we feel the loving sting of His correction. It’s in the shadow that we feel His comfort and care for us. It’s in the shadow that the things of this world grow strangely dim. It’s in the shadow that we are redeemed. It’s in the shadow that we are restored. It’s in the shadow that we see the Shepherd. It’s in the shadow that we realize that we, like sheep, have all gone astray. It’s in the shadow that we are prepared to face our enemies. It’s in the shadow that we are anointed with the oil of joy. It’s in the shadow that we learn how to dwell in the Father’s house- forever, and ever.

Amen.

No Resolution

December 31, 2019November 17, 2020 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Isaiah 43:19 New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁹For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

2020 is almost here. A New Year. A New Decade. A New Vision. The Lord is about to do something new! This morning He revealed two old things from 2019 that could hinder me from following His new path in 2020:

Number 1: STOP throwing pearls to pigs

Matthew 7:6-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

⁶“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy.^[a] Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

I’m not calling people pigs; the BIBLE makes the analogy! I readily admit, I’ve actedlike a pig; eating the slop of the world and rolling around in the mud. The only reason I’m no longer in the pig pen is the grace of God. By the power of His Spirit, I came to my senses and ran home to my Father 20 years ago. As His daughter, I am continually being cleansed from the mud and muck to be made holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). He rescued me from death & filled me with His Spirit, giving me eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand how long, how wide and how deep His love is for me (Ephesians 3:19). Only by receiving His love am I able to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (Matthew 22:37). Only by loving Him am I able to love myself. Only by loving myself am I able to love my neighbor. Only by loving my neighbor am I able to preach the gospel & teach people how to obey Jesus.

People.

Sometimes they act like pigs.

In 2019, I received a lot of pearls from the Lord- in fact, an entire strand of them. In my impetuousness, however, I foolishly shared those pearls with people who SAID they love God, but who’s lives continued to SHOW they didn’t. Because I loved them, I ignored the fact that their words could not be trusted. Instead of guarding my heart, I received rejection as they rejected the pearls (dreams, visions, prophesy) I shared. As a result, I felt trampled (betrayed, denied) & attacked (falsely accused).

But the Lord is doing something new in 2020! He says I must forgive those people for lying, but stop wasting what is holy. He has given them the freedom to live like pigs, and I must do the same. He says I must continue to love, but I cannot wallow in the mud with them.

Number 2: STOP chasing prodigals

Luke 15:11-32

¹¹To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons.¹²The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

¹³“A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. ¹⁴About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. ¹⁵He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. ¹⁶The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

¹⁷“When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! ¹⁸I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you,¹⁹and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

²⁰“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. ²¹His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.^[a]’

²²“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. ²³And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, ²⁴for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

²⁵“Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, ²⁶and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ²⁷‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’

²⁸“The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, ²⁹but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. ³⁰Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’

³¹“His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. ³²We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”

As previously mentioned, I was a prodigal daughter & regrettably I’ve also acted like a prodigal sister .

But the Lord is doing something new in 2020! He’s showing me how to love prodigals as HE loves them: He gives His children their inheritance and the freedom to choose to stay at home or waste their lives on immoral living. He allows them to experience poverty, be in need with no one to help them, and be hungry for pig slop. And when a prodigal finally comes to their senses, He runs out to greet them and throws a party. The Father knows which sons and daughters will return home and which will reject His love for eternity. He says I must love them all. He says I must intercede for some. He says I must seek His will in heaven and pray it on the earth. He says I must not chase after prodigals. He says I must not beg, manipulate or control circumstances to make them return to Him.

A New Year.jpg