Matthew 22:37-40 New Life Version (NLV)

37 Jesus said to him, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest of the Laws. 39 The second is like it, ‘You must love your neighbor as you love yourself.’

Ever since my salvation, I have struggled to live this passage out. It seems as if during each season of life, I am constantly re-assessing and discovering that I’ve had these principals out of order. When I truly live out the first, everything else seems to fit into order- naturally. However, since becoming a stay-at-home wife, mom and then homeschool mom, I have found myself too many times being overwhelmed and frustrated because I have inadvertently, or sometimes intentionally put the ‘love your neighbor’ part first.

Not only is this disorder evident among many mom’s I know, it is also glaringly apparent in the church. After someone is saved, they are encouraged to perhaps join a small group or Sunday school class to be disciples, but more often then note, they are more strongly encouraged (or guilted into) joining a ministry team or serving on Sunday morning. Believe me, I understand the importance of serving God & advancing His Kingdom by serving others, but unfortunately, this disorder or priorities often pushes people to become works driven instead of serving out of an overflow of their love for God, themselves and their neighbors.

I have always read & understood the order of the above passage, as it is written; God, others, me. But the more I continue to have meltdowns and complain about no alone time, other people demanding time from me and rarely doing things for myself, the more the Holy Spirit is revealing his truth to me. Its not that I am a self centered, lazy woman who only wants her own way (this is what the enemy whispers every time I try to explain through sobs to my husband, why I feel overwhelmed-again!) its that I am living out of order….& thus, chaos erupts.

1 Corinthians 14:33

God isn’t a God of disorder but of peace.

Now God has created each of us uniquely different and the way in which this order plays out in our everyday lives will look unique as well. God has brought to my attention that I am more like the little girl I once was, who enjoyed playing in her playhouse-by HERSELF for hours at a time, other than the young adult I was who thrived in being the life of the party. Practically, I cannot retreat to a ‘playhouse’ (or any other house for that matter!) for hours each day because I DO have responsibility God has entrusted me with. So, I have to be strategic and disciplined with my time. I have to wake up before everyone in my family to read my bible & pray. And I have to say “no” to others sometimes in order to be mindful of how many activities emerge on my calendar. The latter has proven much more difficult for me. Its because I have put forth too much effort trying to please everyone else, fearing that they may be offended or mad at me, instead of loving God, loving myself, then loving them. Sounds self-centered huh? Its not. Its God’s design. If I had not loved myself by connecting with God daily, eating properly, exercising & getting adequate rest for 9 months when I was carrying each of our 4 children, there could have been catastrophic consequences for me- & them. If I don’t connect with God daily, eat properly, exercise & get adequate rest today, there can STILL be catastrophic consequences!

In my life, I prefer peace….and that only comes from God. So, in order to obtain it, I need to keep His order.

God

Me

Others (husband, kids, friends/extended family)

Looks like I have some more re-assessing to do to make that happen.

Proverbs 21:20 New Living Translation (NLT)

20 The wise have wealth and luxury,
but fools spend whatever they get.

By no means do I consider our family to be wealthy but, when I compare myself to the truly poor of this world, we have way more than we could ever need-or want. Its when I measure myself against the American standard that I can become insatiable & well….. foolish.

We don’t have cable TV, but when we visit family or stay in a hotel, one of my favorite networks to watch is HGTV. My husband, on the other hand, can’t stand it! He’s correct in his perceptions of some of the people- they are never content with what they have and they feel entitled to obtain EVERYTHING on their want list! Episode after episode this scenario repeats itself as you see people’s struggle to remain under budget for reno’s or mortgage loans. More times than not, they quickly throw caution to the wind and blow the budget.

Fools.

Doug and I were in that category for at least the first 10 years of our marriage. Whatever was in the checking account is what we spent! We were never satisfied.

Matthew 6:21 New Living Translation (NLT)

21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

The journey to becoming wise (which we are still on) started with giving God 10%. My stubborn, disobedient self gasped in horror when my husband asked me to write the first check. I think it was $50- nowhere near 10%. Months later, I began reasoning with him as he told me to increase it to $200!!! When our giving finally reached 10% we then heard a convicting sermon about giving 10% of your gross income, not your net!!!! (Somebody please give me a chair…I’m gonna pass out!!!) Its not as if we couldn’t afford to give God a greater portion…its just that it was going to take away from the money WE wanted to spend on what WE wanted. To remedy that situation, we chose to be…… foolish! We decided that instead of disciplining ourselves to spend less, we’d just use our credit cards more…and so, we remained in bondage to our debt.

Proverbs 22:7 New Living Translation (NLT)

Just as the rich rule the poor,
so the borrower is servant to the lender.

After years of living in the debt cycle, we asked the Holy Spirit to teach us God’s view of our finances….and what we discovered is that ALL of it comes from God and ALL of it should be used for His glory- not our own. And when we use it as He instructs us, we will be wise.

No greater example of this is the season of unemployment we went through in 2010-2011. People still ask how we got through a year without any debt (actually, we do still have a debt; our mortgage). But here is the simple truth:

God provided.

Not only did He provide for all of our “needs” but He also gave us some of our “wants.” Allow me to explain how that season played out:

Approximately 18 months before Doug was laid off, I flippantly said “we have more $ in our saving account than we’ve ever had, do you think you’re gonna lose your job?”

It wasn’t a flippant comment, it was God’s provision.

When Doug lost his job, we continued to tithe 10% of every increase we received:

-severance package

-unemployment from the state

-cash/checks that were given to us as gifts

We said “no” to several items on our “want” list:

-family camping trips

-new clothes

-Home-school co-ops

-Field trips

-Extra curricular activities

-Eating out

-Hair cuts & color

-Cable TV

-Family entertainment (movies, putt putt, children’s museums, etc)

-purchasing a pop-up trailer for our family camping adventures.

-taking a Disney Cruise we had been saving for

And then we began to witness the truth of this promise:

Malachi 3:10 New Living Translation (NLT)

10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in!

Windows of heaven:

-mortgage and every other utility bill was always paid on time

-we never skipped a meal- or snack, for that matter

-another family invited us to go with them on their vacation

-we received LOTS of hand-me-downs for almost every member of our family

-a family paid for all 4 of our children to attend a co-op class

-a family paid for a portion of gymnastics classes for all 4 of our children

-people took us out to eat, or invited us to their home for dinner

-people brought us groceries

-no one needed medical attention for year (no insurance)

And, almost a year later…. God poured out a blessing so great, we didn’t have enough room to take it in!!! Next month, we will be taking that Disney Bahamian Cruise we had been saving for! Here’s how God provided for that:

-We purchased a 4 night Disney Bahamian Cruise for 6, but we only paid for 5 (Disney Rewards)

-FREE hotel for 3 nights in Orlando (Marriott Rewards)

-FREE tickets to Magic Kingdom (Disney Rewards)

-$100 on board credit (Disney Visa Cardholder “gift”)

HGTV may be able to install some beautiful windows, but I’d much prefer for God to open the windows of heaven for me…..wouldn’t you?

Philippians 4:6-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace….

Every person who has accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior has a direct access to the Creator of the Universe. Unfortunately, many of us don’t use it enough!

Prayer.

Behind my sisters home lies a shallow, rocky river. If you look upstream to the left, you’ll notice a tree that uprooted during a storm and has fallen across the entire width of the river. Downstream from that tree, the water appears to be stopped and becoming stagnant. But, further down river, the water is once again trickling over the mossy rocks.

When that river flows, the way it was designed, it brings life to all those within and around its banks. When there is an obstruction that is not quickly moved-the river is in danger of becoming still and stagnant, resulting in possible death for those that depend on it for substance.

I have had several trees of worry fall into my river in my 36 years. The result of not having them removed quickly has lead to insomnia, anger and lack of joy. When I finally notice the affects of the decaying tree on my relationship with my Creator, spouse & children I try with all my might to remove it…but….that just leads to more worry & anger! Eventually, my stubborn pride relinquishes its hold and I go to the source of the river- the only One who can remove that tree. And, every time, without fail, His peace washes over me….

Years ago, when a worry tree fell into my river, the Holy Spirit prompted me to write a thankful list in my journal. I was amazed at how many items there were! When I finished writing, I praised the One who was due my gratefulness. And wouldn’t ya know it- I experienced God’s peace.

During my bible/prayer time this morning, another worry tree began leaning over my river. As our family approaches another season of unknown (Doug’s contract position ends next month), the temptation to worry about financial provision, possible relocation for a job, change in our home-school schedule, etc….can become overwhelming. But, when I reflect on our lives less that a year ago, I remember the miraculous ways that my Father removed every tree of worry…… and I KNOW that He can and will do it again!

All I have to do is:

-pray about everything

-tell God what I need (He doesn’t mind hearing about some of my wants either!)

-thank Him for all He has done

Here’s part of my thankful list for the past 18 + months:

-a year of time at home with my husband & children during unemployment

-financial provision (severance package, checks/cash from family, friends, anonymous people, not accruing debt!)

-divine health for all 6 of us

-God revealing Himself as my true comforter (when my husband was away for more than a week at a time)

There’s plenty more to be thankful for, but right now I just want to be still and watch the river flow….

Psalm 46:10

New Living Translation (NLT)

“Be still, and know that I am God!”