I Want to See!

Mark 10:46-52

46 Then they reached Jericho, and as Jesus and his disciples left town, a large crowd followed him. A blind beggar named Bartimaeus (son of Timaeus) was sitting beside the road. 47 When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

48 “Be quiet!” many of the people yelled at him.

But he only shouted louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

49 When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, “Tell him to come here.”

So they called the blind man. “Cheer up,” they said. “Come on, he’s calling you!” 50 Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.

51 “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.

“My Rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!”

52 And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.

In my short journey as a follower of Jesus I have been blind many, many times. Not physically like Bartimaeus, but spiritually and emotionally.

IMG_0602When life is hard and I find myself sitting alone beside the road of Jericho in total darkness, my mind begins to wander;

“should I lie down and wallow in my disability?

should I beg others to take care of me?

should I just sit and wait?”

Feeling helpless and angry, I begin to hear others say that Jesus is nearby. In an instant, hope springs forth and I begin to shout. The enemy attacks, convincing a few to tell me to be quiet. Knowing that HE is greater (1 John 4:4), I fight back and begin shouting even louder: “Son of David, have mercy on me!” The Lord hears my cry and sends another disciple to encourage me to go to Him. As the noise and distractions of life are silenced, I finally hear that still small voice whisper, “come….”

Desperate to see, I throw aside my coat of shame, jump up and go. He asks, “what do you want me to do for you?” Humbled, I bow before the King of kings and Lord of lords, crying out “I want to SEE! I want Your light to penetrate the dark places of my soul. I want to confess, repent and be set free!” The miraculous occurs; the Spirit of God brings Truth and I can see. I can SEE. I CAN SEE!

Once again, He tells me to to “go” (Matthew 28:19), for my faith in Him has brought healing to my soul. I will not be silent. I must get up. I must follow Him. I must tell others about the One who heals!

Matthew 15:30

30 A vast crowd brought to him people who were lame, blind, crippled, those who couldn’t speak, and many others. They laid them before Jesus, and he healed them all.

Wait Patiently

Romans 8:18-26

18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, 21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,[a] including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope[b] for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) 26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness…..

This weekend, while traveling the friendly skies with my husband and another couple, we had the opportunity to depend on the Holy Spirit to help us wait……..patiently.

IMG_5283On our first flight out, we were forced to sit on the plane for an additional 75 minutes after being pushed back to the gate to fix a mechanical issue before take off (I won’t bother to mention the screaming kids that were banging their feet against peoples seats & slamming the window shade up and down while their mom continued to yell at them to “stop it” and their dad sat catatonic across the aisle). As a result, the delay caused us to miss our connecting flight. After deplaning, we were told the next (& only) available flight would depart 5 hours later. After much discussion between my husband and the ticket agent, we were booked on another airline and finally arrived at our destination…4 hours later than expected.

En route to the airport two days later for our return flight, we received a voicemail from the airline informing us that our departure had been delayed. Another message, pushing the departure time back even further prompted a phone call to the airline to discuss our options. There were very few. We came to the conclusion that our best option was to proceed to the airport to talk to a ticket agent……and wait patiently for the next available flight out. Multiple conversations with multiple agents and several flight delays later, the flight was cancelled. We then made arrangements with another airline for a flight home the following day.

Early the next morning, we arrived back at the airport to check in. The airline had NO RECORD of our reservations. IMG_5286(Seriously, people, I am not making this stuff up!!!!) More waiting. More patience. More negotiating with ticket agents. With boarding passes finally in hand, we scurried through security and raced to the gate. The flight was delayed. Then delayed again…and again. More waiting. More patience. More negotiating with ticket agents. Eventually, we arrived home safely- almost 24 hours later than scheduled.

There are many scheduled departures and arrivals in my life, my marriage, my parenting and my ministry that I continue to wait eagerly for.

Will I trust that His promises will be fulfilled?

Will I trust that He knows the days, times and locations of all my flights?

Will I trust Him to pack my bags with everything I need once I arrive?

Will I trust Him to give me the tickets at the exact moment they are required to board the plane?

Will I trust Him to send the right travel companions with me for the journey?

Only if I surrender everything to the will of the Father and depend on the Holy Spirit to help me wait……..patiently.

Psalm 37:7

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
 and wait patiently for him to act…..

6 Feet Deep

Romans 7:14-25

14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power[b] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

IMG_4845Occasionally, when we darken the doors of a building where His church gathers, we hear a convicting sermon that points to the obvious sins in our life. But what about those sins that are 6 feet deep, just like the bodies that lie in the cemetery next to those beautiful sanctuaries? How on earth do we recognize those hidden sins that live in the darkness of our souls?

We ask the Holy Spirit to use a shovel, or a backhoe, or whatever earth mover He needs to remove the layers of dirt so that His light will illuminate the sinful nature that continues to reek havoc- and bring death to our daily lives.

Every time I read this passage that Paul penned so very long ago I realize that no matter how holy I think I am or how worthy I believe my call from Him is, I am faced with the dilemma that there is another power within me that is at war. When the Holy Spirit brings conviction to the things I’ve done wrong they always, always, always reflect the sin that was committed in the garden at the dawn of creation:

-lust of the eyes (I see it)

-lust of the flesh (I want it)

-the pride of life (I justify why I should have it)

Even though I think I love Gods law with all my heart, there are still places that are not yet fully submitted to His lordship. Places where I’ve been hurt because of my wrong expectations of Him- or others. Places where I’ve sinned and not repented. Places where I’ve failed to trust Him completely and subsequently decided to taste the fruit for myself.

It all sounds terribly defeating – this cycle of wanting to do what is right, but inevitably choosing wrong. But there is HOPE….. a Savior, who is Christ the Lord! Who was born of a virgin, suffered and died for our sake, so that we could live a life free from the slavery of sin. Free from spiritual and emotional death. Free from everlasting torment.

Do you want a relationship with this Savior? Do you want to experience the freedom He offers? Then I implore you to read the following passage, and do what it says. If you already have a relationship with Jesus, but find yourself feeling 6 feet deep, retreat to your secret place and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any area of hidden sin. Then confess, repent and forgive, as He leads. If, however, the dirt is not easily lifted, ask a godly mentor to bring a shovel over to help you dig!

Romans 10:9-12

Because if you acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe (adhere to, trust in, and rely on the truth) that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

10 For with the heart a person believes (adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Christ) and so is justified (declared righteous, acceptable to God), and with the mouth he confesses (declares openly and speaks out freely his faith) and confirms [his] salvation.

11 The Scripture says, No man who believes in Him [who adheres to, relies on, and trusts in Him] will [ever] be put to shame or be disappointed.

12 [No one] for there is no distinction between Jew and Greek. The same Lord is Lord over all [of us] and He generously bestows His riches upon all who call upon Him [in faith].

Childlike

Matthew 11:25-26

25 At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. 26 Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way!

IMG_3765While sitting at Holden Beach, NC with some ladies from a ONE Flesh Small Group this weekend, I savored the sound of the crashing waves, the coolness of the wind blowing on my face and the softness of the sand enveloping my feet.

Not content to just sit at the beach, however, I finally got up and followed one of my friends, who was strolling along the waters edge, searching for unique seashells that had made their way to the coastline.

On the final day of our stay, I followed another friend who wanted to go swimming, into the cool Atlantic water. Afraid to completely immerse myself in the ocean because of an emerging head cold, I chose to stay in the shallows so that I could keep my head and shoulders above the water. But, as I continued to watch my friend catch wave after wave and float all the way to the shoreline I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing out on something….

There was no fear in her, no worry, no anxiousness of being overcome by the waves. She acted so childlike; overflowing with joy….peace….fullness of life.

As I was relaying these beach adventures to my husband last night, he wisely replied, “kind of symbolic of our relationship with God, huh?”

Yep.

Some of us are so wise and clever:

-content to sit on the beach and just look at God.

-content to walk along the shoreline with His Son to get our feet wet from time to time…. when we want something.

-content to jump into the waves for a swim, but quickly high tail it back to the beach when a massive wave of His Spirit threatens to overcome us.

And some of us are so childlike in our pursuit of God:

-wanting to soak in Our Father’s love

-wanting to be consumed by the presence of His Spirit

-wanting to become more and more like His Son.

Fortunately, there’s hope for us who are wise and clever! God promises to reveal His truth to us….IF we turn from our sins, become like a little child, and obey Him.

Matthew 18:2-4

Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

“All God’s revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. You will never get them open by philosophy or thinking. Immediately you obey, a flash of light comes. Let God’s truth work in you by soaking in it, not by worrying into it….God will never reveal more truth about Himself until you have obeyed what you know already. Beware of becoming “wise and prudent.’” –Oswald Chambers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc

Honor God with your Body

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Since the creation of man & woman, the enemy has lied to God’s children and their doubt of the Almighty’s goodness has resulted in their choosing to sin against Him. Sin is sin, there is no “ranking”  in God’s word about which is the worst. But, there are several warnings listed about the severity of sexual sin and how it affects the individual and the ones in whom he/she is in relationship.

I know this all too well, for I did not heed the warnings. Not only did I believe in my mind that I had the “right” to do such things, my emotions confirmed the deceit that doing what felt good in the moment would fill the void of love, acceptance and worthiness that I so desperately craved. Decision after decision to disobey God’s commands drowned out the whisper of the Holy Spirit to RUN FROM ALL SEXUAL SIN until eventually, I no longer heard Him speak. My mind and emotions had convinced my will to surrender to the wooing of the enemy.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”[d]17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

For years I allowed my flesh to be the lord of my life and slowly my experiences plunged me into a deep dark depression which tempted me to just run away from it all- permanently.

I was robbed of the joy of living and everything I held dear had either been stolen, killed or almost completely destroyed. Not only was my relationship with my Heavenly Father broken, but so was my relationship with my spouse. Oneness had always eluded us.

Fed up & desperate for change, I finally surrendered to the only One who could rescue me from the pit.

Psalm 103:1-5

Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—

who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The first choice I had to make towards being made right with God was to call on the name of the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit for help. Then I had to be willing to acknowledging all the deep dark secrets that had been locked away from myself and others for so many years. Only then was I able to force my will to confess & repent to God, confess and repent to my husband and confess to others who helped me through the process of cleansing.

1 John 1:9

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

As a daughter in the Kingdom of God who has received a rich inheritance I can tell you that there is only ONE WAY to obtain the love, acceptance and worthiness your soul was made to crave. Don’t be fooled by the lies of the enemy to engage in sexual sin. Jesus is the ONLY way, the ONLY Truth and the ONLY life. And He is the ONLY One who can truly set you free from the bondage of sexual sin so that you may once again honor God with your body.

John 8:36

36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

The Blessings of the Locusts

Joel 2:12-14, 25-26

12 That is why the Lord says,
“Turn to me now, while there is time.
Give me your hearts.
Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. 13 Don’t tear your clothing in your grief,
but tear your hearts instead.”
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is merciful and compassionate,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He is eager to relent and not punish. 14 Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve,
sending you a blessing instead of this curse.

25 The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. 26 Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.

I have encountered multiple armies of locusts in the field of my life, my marriage and my parenting. Some of them destroyed only a portion of the crops and some have stripped every sprig of growth, leaving nothing but bare soil. Some of the locusts swarmed me, leaving me feeling completely overwhelmed and helpless. Some of them hopped all over me, becoming a pesky nuisance that distracted me and caused me to live in constant fear, not knowing what direction they would come to pounce on me again. Some stripped away everything of value to me, leaving me feeling absolutely hopeless about my future. And some cut my soul so deeply that death seemed to be the only possible relief. Some of those locusts invaded my field as result of my sin….and some trespassed on my land because of someone else’s.

At times I have yelled violently, shaking my fists at the enemy for sending these vicious attacks, but only recently have I realized that the enemy can do nothing without God allowing him to. Every army of locusts that are dispatched to my field MUST be given permission to destroy by the Creator of the universe. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this life happens to me without passing through the hand of God Almighty first.

It’s an earth shaking revelation to know that God has allowed, or even sent destroying armies of locusts to obliterate almost every living thing in my field. But, I am slowly beginning to understand that every trial, every heartbreak, every loss, every triumph, every devastation, every abundant harvest is from Him and FOR Him. And, every locust sent is for my ultimate good because it draws me closer to Himself and causes another area of my flesh to die so that I can grow to be more like His Son. He endured every swarming, hopping, stripping and cutting locust on my behalf, so that I may have life to the full……. and if that weren’t enough, He promises to restore what was lost to the locusts, as I return to Him and repent.

Lord, I praise you for the blessings of the locusts in my life. You are loving, you are righteous, you are healer, you are deliverer, you are redeemer, you are restorer and you work ALL things for my good.

Great Wealth

1 Timothy 6:2-10

Teach these things, Timothy, and encourage everyone to obey them. Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. These people always cause trouble. Their minds are corrupt, and they have turned their backs on the truth. To them, a show of godliness is just a way to become wealthy.

Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

I grew up in a stereotypical affluent city in Southern California. Many of the kids I went to school with came from wealthy families who lived in huge houses (they were mansions to me), drove top of the line cars and wore every name brand item that hung on the rack. Unbeknownst to me, my dad made pretty good money back in those days, but like many kids in America, I felt neglected because my parents refused to give me everything my little greedy heart desired. Still, I always had enough food and plenty of clothing…

25 years later, Doug & I are now the parents who are trying to train our children (Proverbs 22:6) to be content.  Fortunately, God’s Word provides all the answers we need. Unfortunately, however, there is much division among biblical teachers & preachers in regards to how God’s truth is to be applied. According to some, we, God’s children are heirs in His Kingdom; therefore, we should have faith for wealth, health and prosperity (just to name a few). Because, after all, God loves His children and wants to bless us…right?

According to Matthew 7:7-11, God DOES love us and wants to give us good gifts, but these gifts are of His Spirit, not treasures that are temporal (Matthew 6:19-21).

So what if all this great wealth is a test for His children, instead of a platform for an inspirational teaching about the accrual of treasure?

Imagine if we, His heirs chose to worship Him by giving 10% to the church to Advance His Kingdom in our communities, nation and throughout the world. Imagine if we also gave above the tithe to others whom God has prompted us to serve. Imagine if we were good stewards and spent less than the numbers on our paycheck each month.  Imagine if we saved for the future. Imagine if we paid cash for big purchases instead of accruing a larger balance on our credit cards. Imagine if we stopped comparing our lives to the Jones’ (whoever they are) in the Kingdom and in the world and choose to be content with what God has given us!

How could those few things change the world for Christ? I can only speak from personal experience and say that it has radically changed my husband’s life and mine. When Doug and I were DINKS (Dual Income No Kids), we made good money, but squandered most of it. When I became a stay-at-home unpaid mom, we were somehow able to live on less money with more people to support. We were able to tithe 10% of our gross income to our local church. We were able to give to others out of an overflow. We were able to sacrifice our wants to get out of credit card debt. We were able to pay cash for unexpected emergencies. And we were able to afford to have a little fun, too.

How were we able? By loving Jesus.

John 14:15-21

15 “If you love me, obey[a] my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate,[b] who will never leave you. 17 He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.[c] 18 No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. 19 Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. 20 When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.”

I wish I could say that I am no longer tempted by great wealth. I am. Comparison to the Jones’ can do that to you…but thankfully, as I continue to pursue an attitude of gratitude towards Our Provider by daily surrendering to His will through Worship, Prayer & His Word, I have been able to avoid all kinds of evil.

Father, would you help me know your truth about wealth and how that applies to my life? Thank you for blessing me with the gifts of your Spirit- and for the abundance of food, clothing and material objects we possess. May your Spirit always keep my heart content, whether our bank account dwindles or expands.

Amen