Leadership
Called. Chosen. Commissioned.
Matthew 4:19
19 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me…
Matthew 22:14
14 “For many are called, but few are chosen.”
Matthew 28:19
19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
A little while ago, a local college student asked to get together with me. She was searching for someone older in the faith to disciple her and wondered if I’d be interested. I agreed to meet with her on campus to discuss the idea over a cup of coffee. As we sat down together at a table outside the library, I soaked in the Florida sunshine as she started a monologue about all the things she was doing for the Lord. At some point during her sermon, I interrupted to inquire about her story. She fumbled to find the right words as I asked a few questions about her relationship with her parents, siblings and our Father, Son and Spirit. They weren’t complicated questions. Just simple things that pertained to BE-ing a disciple of Jesus. The conversation stalled, so she quickly changed the subject to her fiancé. They were planning to enter full time ministry together after graduation. She explained that her man recently found a spiritual father because he was struggling with porn, so she thought it would be a good idea for her to have a spiritual mom too! As we talked about their relationship, she admitted they were having sex, and occasionally they smoked weed together at parties.
As our conversation came to a close, I assured her that I was willing to meet again if she understood what kind of spiritual mother I am. I’m a childlike mom who’s filled with compassion and cares for the broken hearted. I feed the hungry and the hurting, because I’m hungry and hurting… and I’m healed and delivered by the love of the Father, the sacrifice of the Son, and the power of His Spirit! I’m not a mom that continually affirms and applauds gifted kids. I’m grateful for God’s grace and the gifts He’s given all His children, but I preach Bible so that good fruit may be produced. I am called, chosen and commissioned to BE and make disciples who love the Lord with all their heart.
Unfortunately, I never heard from that young woman again.
But she’s not the only kid wandering around in the wilderness here. Many have been called to this land flowing with milk and honey. Many live here as orphans. But a few have chosen to follow Jesus down the narrow road alongside spiritual siblings, parents and grandparents. A few have chosen to sit at the generational table He’s preparing for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
The sad reality is, there are many breastfed babies being trained for service in the Father’s house, but they don’t have a clue where the kitchen is! They haven’t been taught how to purchase, plan or prep a meal. They haven’t been taught to sit and share with their Savior and Lord. They haven’t been taught how to eat His body and drink His blood every…single… day. They’re hungry. And they don’t even realize they’re starving to death!!!
Question is: who’s gonna feed them?
It’s time for parents, like Peter, to strengthen the body of Christ. Yep, I’m talking to you. I know you’ve been guilty of denying Jesus because you’ve feared man, not God. But let me remind you: He’s interceding for you!
Repent & return to Him.
He’s called you.
He’s chosen you.
He’s commissioned you to GO, make disciples!
Care for and feed the lambs & sheep. Invite them to breakfast, lunch or dinner. Sit at the table and listen to their stories. Tell them yours. Preach the Word of God to them. Pray with and for them. Pursue their hearts. Prophesy dry bones to life in their mind, will and emotions.
You know where the kitchen is. You know how to sit at the table. You know how to eat the scroll. It’s time to share your leftovers with the next generation.
A Prayer (fighting the good fight)
1 Timothy 6:11-14
11 … Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses. 13 And I charge you before God, who gives life to all, and before Christ Jesus, who gave a good testimony before Pontius Pilate, 14 that you obey this command without wavering. Then no one can find fault with you from now until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.
God, YOU said that when we fight the good fight of faith, it’s not by our strength or our power, but by YOUR Spirit. That means: we have to SEEK first YOUR Kingdom. Then all the things, all the plans for how to resist the devil will be given to us. Only then will we be able to go – and possess the land YOU promised. When we humble ourselves, seek YOUR face and turn from our wicked ways, no power or principality of darkness will harm us. No weapon formed against us will prosper. When we submit to YOU, as children, in childlike faith, we prove that YOU are our Father. A chosen few are doing that. But many that are called are running around like orphans with poopy diapers, swinging swords they aren’t strong enough to handle. Oh, that we would grow up and become spiritually mature sons and daughters!
How many times have YOU forgiven us our trespasses against YOU? In our ignorance we’ve believed we’re grown- just because we’re gifted! Heaven, help us. Many of us are doing good works; using spiritual gifts with gusto as explosive diarrhea overflows our sagging diapers. Our sacrifices have been detestable to YOU. They stink like week old dirty diapers! YOU are not interested in our Simon the Sorcerer routine; performing miracles, signs and wonders for the crowd….without knowing YOU. Without loving YOU! It’s obvious: we love ourselves and others more. The proof is evidence against us: we refuse to obey YOU. We’ve been content performing for love instead of from love.
When will we STOP?
When will we BE STILL?
When will we LAY DOWN and let our parents (the spiritually mature believers YOU have placed in our lives) help change us?
When we confess that we’ve rejected YOU as Father. When we repent for resisting YOUR authority. When we realize we’ve been deceived, doubted and followed the advice of the father of lies. “Don’t tell me what to do!” is the mantra of his children. They’ve declared their declaration of independence in their hearts. They’ve chosen to remain orphans; independent, impetuous and impatient… willing to survive alone, as individuals.
Lord, forgive us. We do not know what we are doing! We need a spanking. We need a time out. We need to be grounded. We need our toy swords to be taken away for a season to rest, recover and be restored to YOU: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We need to become HOLY as YOU are holy! Then we need to be reconciled to our fathers and mothers & brothers and sisters in Christ.
We confess all our crap to you, Lord! We repent for acting like orphans. We repent for being rebellious children. We declare a new declaration of DEPENDANCE on YOU, our good Father. We ask for YOUR helper- YOUR Spirit to lead us into all Truth. Change our hearts as YOU change our diapers! Train us in the way we should go. Potty train us. Teach us to grow up! We wanna become spiritually mature. We want to develop into healthy & holy kids, teenagers and adults. And when we are able, we ask that YOU show us how to parent the young ones as YOU have parented us; teaching us to obey all YOU have commanded.
Amen.
Lay down, Cow!
Psalm 23:1-2
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures…
When we moved to Florida two years ago, I became obsessed with cows. It seemed random at first. For heaven’s sake, we had cows in North Carolina and in California where I grew up! Yet, for some strange reason, I began squealing like a little girl every time we passed a pasture in Polk County.
Turns out, my actions weren’t random. Or strange.
I’ve especially been drawn to heifers, cows and calves. Recently, I learned from a friend that I am NOT a heifer- as some wrongly assumed. I’m actually a cow, thank you very much! A heifer has not given birth to a calf. This cow has delivered four! Armed with this newly acquired knowledge, I started to embrace the fact that I had been led to engage with these bovines. My friends who own cattle have since given me access to talk to and pet their animals- and pray over their land whenever I ask. Others have invited me to their home, which overlooks a neighbor’s herd to take pictures or just sit and stare at these magnificent creatures. Hey. Don’t judge me!
Cows are a picture of what I prayed for. What I’m trying to tell you is, this crazy infatuation is really from the Lord!
Allow me to explain…
Polk County was once home to the greatest number of cattle barons in the state of Florida. Lots and lots of land. Lots and lots of cows!!! Bartow was named the county seat after a baron donated a large tract of land to ensure the regions governmental authority rested in his hometown. How did the Bullard’s come to reside in the county of Polk, in the city of Bartow you ask? Well, it wasn’t my plan, I can tell ya that. MY plan was to live in Lakeland. The covenant community we’re a part of is there. Most of our friends are there. The parks and lakes and walking/biking trails we use are there. The majority of restaurants and shops we frequent are…you guessed it, THERE. The “tow” as locals have nicknamed it, was definitely not on our radar when shopping for houses online. But, His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are definitely not our thoughts. After being awake all night with explosive diarrhea, hearing the Lord said “I gave you what you wanted” (Psalm 106:15) we withdrew the first contract we made on our dream home- a beautiful hacienda in Haines City. Immediately, my man and I prayed, “your Kingdom come, your will be done- give us the house YOU want!” Turns out the seventh offer was the one He wanted. In July 2021, we finally closed on our home in Bartow, in a city and neighborhood we did not want to live in. But did I mention that our subdivision was formerly a cow pasture!? We literally heard (pun intended!) cows mooing each morning from the old homestead directly behind us, as we sipped coffee on our lanai. Unfortunately for us, those cows have since moved on to greener pastures.
In the spring of this year, the Lord told me it was time to LAY DOWN. After a bit of a struggle, I finally relented. Since obeying His voice, I began realizing what He’s been trying to teach me all along. Psalm 23 gives the analogy of Him being a good shepherd and us being good sheep, willing to be lead- regardless of where He goes. In this season, He led me to LAY DOWN; to rest…in green pastures. Cows LAY DOWN in green pastures every day. Each afternoon or evening, as we drive down Eagle Lake Road towards home I see heifers, cows and calves lying in the grass chewing their cud. After grazing all day, they rest and regurgitate what they’ve ingested. The same, as it turns out, happens with me. Every morning, in the secret place I hear my Shepherd’s voice in Scripture, Silence and Solitude. Then I start mooing about all the things and listen for His leading. Sometimes I know immediately where we’re going. And other times, I get up and go about my day, chewing the cud. As I do, Holy Spirit reminds me of passages I’ve read or visions, dreams and encounters with Jesus I’ve experience alone or corporately. He brings to remembrance that I must pray in the Spirit, asking Jesus what He’s asking the Father. In due season, at just the right time, I hear from heaven and a piece of the puzzle will find its place in the portrait I see Him painting.
Today was one of those moments that connected the dot to dots. God has literally given me what I asked for:
To know Him as Shepherd
To go where He leads
To LAY DOWN in green pastures
To restore my soul
My friend, I’m here to tell ya that this cow has tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord! I’m leaning on my Shepherd. I’m finding my voice in the pasture. And in due season, I’m gonna come up outta this place SHOUTING to every heifer, cow and calf that will listen,
Clear the way for the Lord’s coming!
(Isaiah 40, John 1)
Lay DOWN
Psalm 23
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.
Sojourning Sheep,
My head knows the Lord is my Shepherd, but admittedly, it’s been a difficult 18-inch journey towards my heart.
I’m what experts call a self- motivated, natural born leader. I’m a sheep and a shepherd. As a shepherd, I’m a doer. I get stuff DONE. Quickly, and as efficiently as possible. It’s a strength and simultaneously, a weakness. The joy of this God given skill is that I am bound & determined to complete an assigned task, come hell or high water. The sorrow is that I can often cross over into striving, doing things in my own strength. Like a sheep with blinders on, I go full speed ahead in the pasture, and in so doing, I sometimes fail to stop long enough to hear that still small voice. Especially when He whispers “you’re done now, it’s time to transition,” Instead, I keep doing, doing, doing without realizing the grace has lifted, and I’m fighting the good fight of faith- in my flesh.
As a result, I burn out.
I wear out.
I break out- into a volcanic explosion of anger towards the enemy… and fellow sheep.
Such is the case with the pasture I’m transitioning out of. I’ll spare you the gory details. Just know that my soul has suffered- not to the point of death as our Savior, but it has been pierced with many sorrows. I’ve taken a few ravenous bites from the big bad wolf and some nips from other sheep. Please know, I am not without sin in all of this. My words proved that my heart was not always fruitful in all my “bah, bah-ing” either.
After a few pity parties (thankfully they don’t last as long as they used to!) about the pain in the pasture, I made my way back to the Shepherd. There, I heard Him say, “LAY DOWN Jodie….I want to RESTORE your soul.” He whispered His instruction multiple times, confirming His Word through Scripture, trusted shepherds and mature sheep.
Even though the transition between sheepfolds didn’t go as I expected, I am grateful to know the One who leads me, guides me and cuts me between joint & marrow, exposing my inner most thoughts.
The LORD is a good Shepherd.
I have all that we need in and through Him.
His rod and His staff protects and comforts.
His direction brings REST.
His discipline RESTORES my soul!
I don’t know what kind of pasture you find yourself in this season. Whether you’re a sheep or a shepherd of His sheep, or both, I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith. Listen for His voice. Follow Him. Rest in Him. Stay close to Him. Let Him comfort & protect you. Eat of His body. Drink of His blood. LAY DOWN in His pastures. And live there- in His house of prayer.
-A Sheep & Scribe
He Cuts
John 15:1-2
15 “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.
Today is the official dissolution date of the ministry we planted exactly 10 years ago. There are several reasons why God required us to close, but at the moment, only one matters: “He cuts every branch that doesn’t produce fruit.” Yes, through the years, I believe much fruit grew through the work of the ministry. Individuals, couples, children and multiple generations of families encountered the Lord, and were transformed. Hallelujah! However, in recent months, the Spirit had been revealing through Scripture, prayer, dreams (mine and others) that I had wandered down a path He did not send me. I had rebelled against His leadership. As a result, I had abandoned my first love: Jesus.
The result? Fruitlessness in that area of my life.
I may have turned away from the Son of Man, but He never left me. He has been interceding at the right hand of the Father all along. He has been praying that my faith would not fail as the enemy was granted permission to sift me like wheat. And in His timing, I was able to hear the sound of the rooster crowing in my Spirit- bringing conviction of sin. Like Peter, at the realization of my denial, I wept bitterly.
Repentance is a painfully beautiful gift in our relationship with the Lord. It’s an acknowledgement of the death we’ve been living under, which releases deep sorrow. It’s also a realization of the resurrection life that we have returned to, which brings great joy!
Repentance causes us to realize: He cuts us because He loves us.
A branch has been severed in me. Amen! It is gone. Gone but not forgotten. It is forgiven. Forgiven but not hidden. For it serves as a reminder of the blood that covers all my sin, cleansing me of all unrighteousness, connecting me to the vine which produces much fruit, bringing glory to the Father!
John 15:5-8
5 “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.6 Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. 7 But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! 8 When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.
Ministry
Deep Into the Water 