Marriage

War

/ Jodie / 2 Comments

James 4:1-9 New Living Translation (NLT)

4 What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

4 You adulterers![a] Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. 5 What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us is filled with envy?[b] 6 But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say,

“God opposes the proud
    but favors the humble.”[c]

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.

When Doug & I were first married a little over 17 years ago we already had a year and a half worth of practice in quarreling. While we were engaged, we had several “heated discussions”- let’s just be honest here- they were knock down drag out fights. Doug has always been a gentleman in the quarreling department; he has never, ever raised his hand against me, but buddy, I knew by the tone in his voice and the sharpness in his eyes when he had had enough. I wish I could say I displayed as much self-control as he did, but I can’t. In the early days of our marriage, I would scream, yell, cuss, slam doors, throw things (I even threw my wedding ring at him on 1 occasion) and if none of those things deemed me the winner, I would leave. I’d get in my red firebird and hit the road. Back then we had no cell phones- so he had no way of getting in touch with me to see if I was ok. I liked it that way- in my mind, the more he suffered, the better, because I was right, and he was wrong.

I was so deceived……

I had NO idea how wrong I was.

Thankfully, fights like that haven’t occurred in our home in over a decade.

So what changed?

No, it wasn’t time. Time doesn’t heals all wounds- or any wounds for that matter.  Just ask someone who is grieving or someone who is unhappy in their marriage. Time heals nothing.

It was Jesus.

And it was a husband and wife that were both willing to humble themselves before Him.

Here’s the deal: at any moment of any day, we are either living by the Spirit, knowing the truth, or we are being deceived by the enemy and believing his lies. When a conflict arises, we either pick up the ammunition in our arsenal of hurts from the past or we surrender ourselves to the voice of the Holy Spirit and do as He says. We either choose to protect our “rights,” & attempt to keep ourselves from being hurt again, or we choose to submit to truth. That doesn’t mean we have to agree about everything- it just means that we choose to love & refuse to wage war against the other person.

In order to reduce the cases of ammunition in the arsenal of our past hurts, we must be willing to humble ourselves before our Creator. In doing so, the Holy Spirit can show us how and why they were placed there and how to safely defuse them, thus preventing their further use. I have had multiple occasions to put this into practice. In fact, I had another one this morning regarding last nights quarrel with my husband! During my morning devotion time, I asked the Lord to show me why I overreacted so strongly towards Doug last night about something, which seemed, on the surface to be so stupid and insignificant. He was faithful to reveal the place where I had been hurt by someone else in my past, and as a result, was reacting to it now, in my present. As with many of us, I have been severely wounded by a few people in authority over me. In order to prevent further abuse or hurt, I began many years ago to try to control everyone around me- including my husband. And when that didn’t work, I would lash out verbally or physically until I could defeat him. Instead of being able to resolve our conflicts in a healthy way, I would severely wound him.

The only way to break this vicious cycle was to ask the lord what the hurts were & who they were from. Then I had to choose to forgive them. Since this revelation, I have spent countless hours in prayer forgiving those that have unintentionally added to my arsenal. Occasionally, though, a traitor can still sneak in under the radar and begin to restock my ammunition…just as he did last night. The result was explosive… as a simple miscommunication and misunderstanding left me feeling unappreciated and disrespected. Sadly, when Doug tried to help me work through my feelings, the more I felt the desire to reload and let him have it!

This morning, as I began searching the scriptures for the reasons why I overacted last night, the Holy Spirit sent me to James 4. After I read the first 9 verses, I prayed and asked the Lord to reveal the areas in which the enemy had set up camp and thus began his assault on my husband, through me. My Father, was, of course, faithful to reveal the culprits- and my unforgiveness towards a few people in my past. After I forgave, God, in His magnificent power, annihilated the enemy with 1 shot. Then He held me in His arms and comforted me as I realized how I had once again seen and treated my husband as the enemy. After my sob fest, I called my husband to apologize and he, very graciously, was quick to forgive.

Oneness has been restored.

I pray that the next time a quarrel emerges between us that I will choose to make love- not war (rest assured………. I won’t be blogging about THAT!)

Unforgiving Debtor

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Matthew 18:21-35 New Living Translation (NLT)

 21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven![b]

23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.[c] 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.[d] He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters[e] from your heart.”

If I had to choose 1 thing that has revolutionized my life and drastically changed my relationship with the Lord and others, it would be the principle of forgiveness. The more I study God’s word and learn to apply His truth to my life, the greater Jesus’ sacrifice for me is made real. Still, I cannot fully comprehend the depth of His love – and His willingness to carry the guilt of my sin; past, present & future on His shoulders. Just like Judas, I have betrayed Him over and over and yet, because His love is wider and deeper than I can fathom, He sacrificed His perfect life for mine.

I am forgiven.

My sins are washed as white as snow.

I owe Him nothing.

I am FREE to boldly approach His throne and worship Him for all eternity.

After my salvation, I began to catch a glimpse of the magnitude of God’s forgiveness and how it could change my life….but it took a great many years for me to be willing to forgive others just once- much less 70 x 7!

My first debtor was my husband. I believed he owed me for all the sins he engaged in while we were married because I had suffered the consequences of his actions.

When the king summoned the servant to pay his debt (vs 23-24) & discovered he could not, the king ordered him, his wife and his children to be sold into slavery.

What?!

How unfair!

How unjust!

When I first read this parable, I must admit- it ticked me off. This servants wife and children were innocent of this mans actions and yet THEY were going to have to suffer alongside him! What the Holy Spirit has since revealed to me is this: we don’t sin in a vacuum. Our actions aren’t self contained- they affect not only us, but those whom we are in relationship with. God designed husband and wife to function as one. When Eve sinned, it affected her and Adam- and unfortunately, their boys continued in the family legacy of sin and hiding. The same principle applies to my family. When I am deceived and begin to take matters into my own hands, my husband suffers for it and so do our children. Do I think that’s fair? Not particularly. But His ways are not my ways. I do understand, however, that in order for my family to advance God’s Kingdom, as He has called us to do, Doug and I and our children MUST love God and love each other….and when we are sinned against, offended, hurt, ticked off, disgruntled, you name it, we MUST be willing to forgive. Otherwise, we open up everyone in our family to the torture of the enemy- and a life of bondage.

For our family, the evidence of “torture” is exposed in a few ways:

Anger

-bickering over stupid stuff

-sibling rivalry

-complaining

-constantly pointing out others faults

-sarcasm

Avoidance

-not wanting to engage in conversation with anyone

-hiding in our rooms

-escape through electronics (tv, video games, iphone, ipod, etc)

We stop it by choosing to forgive the debtor. We don’t ignore that there is a debt. Instead, we willingly release the debtor from paying it back (whether they acknowledge or apologize for it- of not). By an act of our will, we chose to extend mercy where punishment is required. As a result, we are released from the clutches of the enemy and are FREE to receive an abundance of blessings from the King!

Since all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of Christ, it can be concluded that all of us need to be forgiven- and need to forgive. We must, therefore, humble ourselves before the King of Kings and confess our sins against Him, receive His forgiveness, then ask Him who we need to forgive (we shouldn’t be surprised if the list is very long…the Holy Spirit is very thorough & He wants us to walk in TOTAL FREEDOM, not just see the prison door open & remain trapped inside).

Forgiveness.

It’s a difficult principle to understand and apply, for it requires us to willingly lay down our “rights” to show love to another. Jesus is the ultimate example- and the Holy Spirit, whom He sent to help us, is the only one who can enable us to forgive our debtors… whether that be our spouse, our children, our parents, our in-laws, our friends, or our brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. But I can tell you, in all honesty, it CAN be done!

Soil

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

 Matthew 13 New Living Translation (NLT)

 13 Later that same day Jesus left the house and sat beside the lake. 2 A large crowd soon gathered around him, so he got into a boat. Then he sat there and taught as the people stood on the shore. 3 He told many stories in the form of parables, such as this one:

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. 4 As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. 5 Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!

I was raised in a Christian family. My parents took me to church, VBS, Youth Camp, Music Camp- as many church activities as they could taxi me to. In junior high, I had one of those emotional mountain top experiences at camp during a worship service as we sang the chorus of “Awesome God.” It was short lived, because once I returned home to the valley (literally- we lived in the foothills of CA!), my life resumed as normal: doing what I wanted to do, being involved in church activities, but never cracking the bible that sat on my shelf. I knew about Jesus, but I had no absolutely relationship with Him.

The seeds fell on the footpath, but the birds ate them up….

In 1999, when I was 9 months pregnant with our 1st daughter, I surrendered my life to the Lord. I sobbed and poured my heart out, confessing every sin I could think of & admitting that I had done a pour job trying to control my life. I received His forgiveness and asked Him to teach me how to follow Him.

Matthew 13 New Living Translation (NLT)

 10 His disciples came and asked him, “Why do you use parables when you talk to the people?”

11 He replied, “You are permitted to understand the secrets[a] of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others are not. 12 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.

In the beginning of my journey following Christ, I realized the importance of studying God’s word. Unfortunately, I was usually left feeling frustrated after reading my bible because I didn’t understand the “secrets!” Instead, I began reading devotionals and Christian self-help books. I did gain some knowledge and understanding of the scriptures through other people’s interpretations, but I had no idea of how to apply these truths to my life, and honestly I really just wanted to keep doing what I wanted to do.

The seeds that fell were on shallow soil with underlying rock…

After a few years, I began to ask the Holy Spirit to give me the desire to want to read the bible- and help me understand it. As I persevered in my daily reading plan, He was faithful to begin illuminating His truth through scripture. Eventually, however, I was faced with an even greater challenge than knowing what it says: doing what it says (I quickly realized that if I didn’t want to be convicted of the sin in my life, or in my marriage, I shouldn’t read it). One of the first things the Lord highlighted to me, through His word, was my inability to forgive, and the consequences it would bring to my life. For far too long, I had held onto anger towards my husband, and thoe bitter roots of unforgiveness were choking out my ability to see and hear from God.

The seeds fell among thorns….

The process of rooting out my pride and being able to forgive began when the Lord stopped me one day, in the middle of one of my tirades about Doug & said “I love him too…I died for him too. I have forgiven him….you need to forgive him.”

That completely broke me.

From that day forward, I made the choice to forgive my husband – until my heart was free from offense, and I could see him the way Our Father sees him. It’s a practice that I continue to exercise even now.

The seeds fell on fertile soil…..

For the first time, I realized an important secret of scripture: He is the farmer, and I am the soil. Because He died for me and adopted me as His daughter, all I need to do to obtain the secrets of His Kingdom is seek Him….and be willing to allow Him to till up any rocks and thorns in my life so that He can scatter His seeds & make them grow. As a result of my willingness, a harvest that is 30, 60, or even 100 times more than what He planted will be produced in my life- and my marriage.

Our God IS an awesome God, isn’t He?

Rest for my Soul

/ Jodie / 1 Comment

Matthew 11:25-30 New Living Translation (NLT)

25 At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. 26 Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way!

27 “My Father has entrusted everything to me. No one truly knows the Son except the Father, and no one truly knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Last night, as Doug and I walked around the track at the soccer field, I began reciting “The List” to him (“The List” is anything and everything having to do with our lives, our marriage, our children, the job and the ministry that needs decisions made or things done). He patiently listened and empathized with my struggle, but in the end he offered several points of wisdom and encouraged me to pray- and wait.

I don’t like to wait. I want an answer NOW, because when I have “The List” all checked off, I can rest!

This, however, I am learning, is not true rest.

On New Years Day 2012, the Lord gave me a vision of myself in a yoke with Jesus. I was leading…running ahead, straining myself, and I was completely exhausted trying to navigate the road ahead. Even more frustrating was trying to decide which road to take!

Almost immediately, I knew what God was trying to show me. I was failing to humble myself before the King of Kings and allow HIM to teach – and lead me. Instead, I was striving to do everything by myself. The consequences for my actions were heavy burdens, which did not belong to me, and a yoke that was impossible for me to carry.

This morning as I was praying, this same passage of scripture came to mind…and I was reminded of the vision.

“Surely, this must be for someone else, Lord….not ME again?!?” (flash back to last nights conversation with Doug…and how overwhelmed I was feeling).

Uh….yeah….it’s me.

Once again, as the demands of life have begun piling up, I’ve inadvertently started picking up burdens, which aren’t mine to carry, and the weight of answering & fulfilling the “The List” was beginning to crush the yoke around my neck:

-Doug hasn’t been paid for multiple weeks of consulting work….and the bills keep rolling in.

-Our oldest is starting High School in another year. How will I be able to teach her and ensure she meets all the requirements she needs for college?

-Our middle 2 daughters want to be involved in theatre, but lessons are costly and I want them to honor God in all that they do, without having to compromise their beliefs.

-Should I plan more play dates and extra-cirricular activities for our son (so he stops pestering his sisters)….or should Doug just take him outside every day and body slam him!?!

-We have a mound of paperwork and scheduling that needs to be done for the ministry… …when am I gonna be able to get it all done?!?

God promises that if I surrender myself to Jesus’ lead, within the yoke He designed for me, I will be able to pull the burdens He gives me to carry with ease. Even when the road ahead seems treacherous and difficult to maneuver, I can trust Him to lead me, and I will find rest for my soul.

Jesus beckoned me to come to Him again this morning…..and when I did, He lovingly showed me that I had not submitted “The List” to Him. Once I realized this, I repented for trying to carry the burden on my own- and not trusting Him to lead. The result was a miraculous and instantaneous one: my burden was lightened and my yoke was made easy.

After I rested in Him for a while, I began asking questions pertaining to “The List” and wouldn’t ya know it- He answered some of them immediately, and others, He said “wait….”  That’s exactly what the man who leads me- and our family- said last night! (there’s probably another lesson here that Jesus wants to teach me about trusting my husband, and following his lead, huh?!?).

Foolishness

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Proverbs 10:1 New Living Translation (NLT) 10 The proverbs of Solomon: A wise child brings joy to a father;
 a foolish child brings grief to a mother.

After a recent incident with one of our children, I was surprised to find myself completely overcome with grief. As I retreated to my prayer corner (otherwise known as my bedroom) my tears quickly turned into sobs. I then began crying out to God about all the things that were breaking my heart about this child…

Once I became quiet, the Lord began downloading the following revelations to my soul:

He loves me sooo much that He sacrificed His perfect son to be with me.

He loves me sooo much that His heart grieves when I disobey Him.

He loves me sooo much that He disciplines me when I act out of a heart of foolishness.

He loves me sooo much that He expects me to discipline our children when they act out of a heart of foolishness.

Proverbs 22:15 New Living Translation (NLT) 15 A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness,
 but physical discipline will drive it far away.

As I began re-playing the “incident” in my mind, I quickly realized that the action was not a result of sin. It was just a mistake. Mistakes happen- and although there may be natural consequences to them, discipline is usually not needed to correct them.

Why then was I still so grieved?

Foolishness.

fool•ish*ˈfu lɪʃ(adj.)

1. resulting from or showing a lack of sense.

2. lacking forethought or caution.

3. insignificant or paltry.

When confronted with the consequences of the mistake, the child in question became angry and began blaming me for the mistake. To make matters worse, she never apologized. Instead, I was left to suffer the consequences of the action, because the mistake included a personal item of mine. My grief was not about the item, but of being falsely accused AND not being shown compassion for the loss.

When our children were toddlers, “physical discipline” was easy to comprehend & administer. If mommy said “no” or “don’t touch” and was not obeyed, a smack on the hand or the rear end usually changed the behavior. As our children have grown, this type of discipline became obsolete. We realized that “physical” discipline needed to be changed from corporal punishment to a loss of something they wanted (privileges). Now-a-days, the loss of an electronic is a devastating blow to our teenager, pre-teen, 10 & 6 year old. Not having their gadgets IS physically painful for them! They also don’t appreciate giving up their free time to perform extra family chores (scrubbing toilets is also physically painful for them!). Of course, all of these disciplines wouldn’t be very effective if we didn’t administer them out of a heart of love. We don’t always get it right, but Doug and I both try to talk to our children before or after the discipline about the foolishness in their character that we are trying to eradicate. Of course all the discipline in the world isn’t effective if Doug and I aren’t willing to model the godly character that we expect of our children. Kids are very resistant to the “do as I say, not as I do” attitude.

I’ll be 38 years old in October, and it has taken a good majority of those years to come to realize why God disciplines me. It’s because I am His beloved daughter…and He loves me…. more than I can fathom. So now, when He rebukes me, or sends others to rebuke me, I don’t throw a complete hissy fit (well, at least not ALL the time!)

Proverbs 3:11 New Living Translation (NLT) 11 My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
 and don’t be upset when he corrects you.

Instead, I humble myself before my Father who loves me, repent of my foolishness & seek His forgiveness….as a result, my character is refined and our relationship is restored.

Just a few moments ago, our child repented, apologized and sought my forgiveness….as a result, her character is being refined and our relationship is restored.

 

 

Yes or No?

/ Jodie / 2 Comments

Matthew 1:18-24 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Birth of Jesus the Messiah

18 This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. 19 Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement[a] quietly.

20 As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21 And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus,[b] for he will save his people from their sins.”

22 All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet:

23 “Look! The virgin will conceive a child!
    She will give birth to a son,
and they will call him Immanuel,[c]
    which means ‘God is with us.’”

24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.

 

When Joseph “considered” what to do about the embarrassing situation with Mary, I assume he didn’t ask God: “Do I marry her? Or do I call the whole thing off?” Hence the reason the Lord used another method to relay His will to Joseph..… disturbing his sleep! God answered the question that was never posed: Yes, Joseph…you should marry her. After hearing the message from an angel, Joseph changed his mind about Mary. Despite the possibility of being falsely judged for fathering a child out of wedlock or marrying a woman who appeared to have been unfaithful to her betrothed, Joseph chose to obey God. His actions proved that he was more concerned with pleasing God than pleasing others.

I still find myself struggling with this. Often times I don’t inquire for an answer from God before responding. When someone asks me to do this or that or tells me I should or need to do this or that, my natural reaction is to say “yes!” because I don’t want them to feel rejected. The result of my knee jerk, put my foot in mouth, lack of self control decisions usually leaves me feeling angry, over committed and overwhelmed. Almost immediately I experience “buyers remorse” and then try to find a way to manipulate the circumstances to be able to give an excuse and then say “no.” As a result of my disobedience and cover up, not only do I suffer, but so do the people whom I was trying not to hurt or offend.

Recently, God spoke to me (again) through a few wise women who reminded me that although I am supposed to love my neighbor- and serve them, my FIRST & greatest “yes” is to God. When I ask Him what to do (or not to do), He will give me the peace to say “no” without guilt and the tools necessary to say “yes” without feeling like my world is spinning out of control.

There is no decision too mundane or miniscule to ask Him about. He wants to be my constant companion- and helper for EVERYTHING in life!

God, how do you want me to respond to this request?

Lord, should Doug and I go on a week vacation next month?

Father, do I need to show grace to my child in this situation?

God, should I join this small group?

Lord, should I teach a home-school co-op class this semester?

Father, do I need to volunteer to serve on this team?

As God continues to bring revelation to the areas of my heart that are not yet fully surrendered to Him, I pray that I will have the faith and courage to do as Joseph did- despite what others may say. May my “yes” be His “yes” and my “no” be His “no.”

Just Take a Pill

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Romans 8:12-14 New Living Translation (NLT)

12 Therefore, dear brothers and sisters,[a] you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. 13 For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature,[b] you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children[c] of God.

Several years ago I was caught in a vicious cycle of sinus infections, doctor appointments & prescription drugs. It finally occurred to me, after almost 18 months, that I was constantly susceptible to these recurring infections because I was failing to properly care for my body. According to 1 Corinthians 6:19, we are supposed to be honoring God with our body-not just with our sexuality, as this passage refers to, but also with what we eat, what we do and how we rest.

Instead of healthy eating, exercise & proper rest, I would continually just take a pill…believing that alone would solve the problem. Modern medicine is a remarkably powerful tool. I’m grateful that the physicians whom have provided for my well being have been highly educated and able to prescribe medications, when needed. But, sometimes, instead of wanting to just take a pill to fix my “issues” I need to be asking the Great Physician to heal me- His way.

A very dear friend of mine recently said to me, “Jodie…you see a lesson in EVERYTHING- even when you’re sick!” Yep- I do. And such was the case this week. After feeling awful for several days, I reluctantly made a doctor appointment & was told I had acute frontal sinusitis- again! So, I began asking God “Lord…why am I sick? What do you wanna teach me here….?”

The obvious answer was, I had caught the germs from our girls who had been dealing with a snotty cold for over a week. The underlying, non-medical issue however, was that I had not been properly caring for my body-again. Now I was going to have to put to death this infection…again. But I also needed the Holy Spirit to help me put to death my sinful nature; doing what I want to do, instead of what I need to do (what I needed was rest……rest…what’s that?!). Ya see, I am still having some trouble with dying to my fleshy desire to keep the world spinning on its axis by controlling everything that happens in my life 24/7. So, since I was not willing to submit to the Lord by resting, He graciously gave me a couple sick days off in bed to read His word, pray, repent, read a few books, nap….and watch a couple Cary Grant flicks. Ahhhh….rest.

The same mentality happens in our marriages. When the relationship becomes sick, we wanna “just take a pill” (blame our spouse for everything that’s going wrong, find someone else who makes us feel loved, consume too much alcohol, look at porn, ignore the issues so we can just have “peace,” overeat……you get the idea). Rarely, however, do we stop and ask the Healer:

“Lord, what do I need to repent for here?”

“What do you require of me in this marriage?”

“How am I trying to make myself feel better in the moment?”

Just taking a pill is easy. Following the regiment required by the doctor to restore us to complete health- long term- takes a change of heart…. and discipline.

If we want to live lives to the full we must be willing to put to death the deeds of our sinful nature by daily eating good food (bible=truth), exercise (prayer) & rest (submitting our will to the Father). Otherwise, we’ll just stay in the vicious cycle of infection (sin), doctor appointments (constantly needing help, but refusing to do what is required) & prescription drugs (‘fixes’ that make us feel better for the moment).

Jehovah-Rophi

“I am the Lord that healeth thee” (Ex. 15:26)

Heal us, Emmanuel! here we are,
Waiting to feel Thy touch:
Deep-wounded souls to Thee repair,
And, Saviour, we are such.

Our faith is feeble, we confess,
We faintly trust Thy word;
But wilt Thou pity us the less’
Be that far from Thee, Lord!

Remember him who once applied,
With trembling, for relief;
“Lord, I believe,” with tears he cried,
“Oh, help my unbelief!”

She too, who touch’d Thee in the press,
And healing virtue stole,
Was answer’d, “Daughter, go in peace,
Thy faith hath made thee whole.”

Conceal’d amid the gathering throng,
She would have shunn’d Thy view;
And if her faith was firm and strong,
Had strong misgivings too.

Like her, with hopes and fears we come,
To touch Thee, if we may;
Oh! send us not despairing home!
Send none unheal’d away!

-Olney Hymns, William Cowper, from Cowper’s Poems, Sheldon & Company, New York