A New Thing

Isaiah 43:18-19

18 “Forget the former things;
 do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!
 Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
 I am making a way in the wilderness
 and streams in the wasteland.

20 The wild animals honor me,
 the jackals and the owls,
 because I provide water in the wilderness
 and streams in the wasteland,
 to give drink to my people, my chosen,

21 the people I formed for myself
 that they may proclaim my praise.

When we began our remodel project a few weeks ago, our youngest daughter began to object verbally and physically to the change. She didn’t want new flooring, cabinets and countertops in the kitchen! Although I tried to assure her that she would come to like the new things, she didn’t believe me. With demo day in full swing I noticed her outside touching, smelling and crying over the old cabinets while talking to her “invisible Friend” (whom she recently clarified is God). Honestly, I thought she was somewhat crazy to be grieving those worn out, paint-peeling boxes of wood.

Having been labeled autistic- as different from “normal” people, I’ve come to realize the lack of social filters in her is in fact, a blessing. What she thinks and feels and senses just comes out! There’s no thought of “am I crazy to feel like this…am I going to offend someone with my opinion?” Even though our daughter bares her own unique image of God, she also resembles a lot of her Mama! As I woke up grumbling about some of the issues I saw in the new floor and cabinets, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a verse I have been studying recently:

Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

and so I began to talk, out loud to my invisible Friend, telling Him my worries and frustrations and feelings of grief.IMG_5013

Grief?

Yes. Grief.

Grief over the former things….in our kitchen and in my life.

Then as my mind flashed back to our daughter saying good-bye to our old kitchen, I whispered, “Father, I am grateful that You are the same yesterday, today and forever. Thank you for continuing to do new things in my life, my marriage and my children. Help me to deal with and not dwell on the past so that I can perceive what is springing up in Your Kingdom right NOW. Teach me to trust that You are making streams in the wasteland of my soul. Amen”

Everything that is Hidden

Mark 4:21-25

21 Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. 22 For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. 23 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

24 Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given[a]—and you will receive even more. 25 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”

For the past few weeks our house has been a complete WRECK, and for some of those days, so have I!

Foundational repairs and a kitchen, half bath and laundry room remodel is enough to make anyone insane, but add extended work hours for my husband, rearranging half the house, home-school and extra-curricular activities to the mix, and well….you get the idea!

On the days I’ve felt peaceful amidst the chaos I’ve thanked the Lord for helping me through the destruction- I mean, construction. And on the days I’ve felt like my life and my house was literally falling apart, the Holy Spirit reminded me that He has something more to teach me.

IMG_4979When our contractor ripped the 30-year-old kitchen cabinets off the walls this week, we discovered a patch of ugly, flowery, 1980’s wallpaper that was hidden behind the microwave and range. This morning, after I told the Lord how frustrated I have been with my husband this week, I paid close attention to His response: my husband wasn’t to blame.

What the WHAT?!

It was a basket. A basket that had been blocking a portion of His light for 30 years! A basket that was hidden behind my pride.

Grateful for the ears to hear and the heart to understand, I thanked God for illuminating yet another area of my soul that was not yet submitted to Him.

Light.

Repentance.

Basket destroyed.

Oneness with my husband restored.

What’s hidden behind the cabinets in your marriage? Ask the Lord to shine His light into every secret place. Then, strip that hideous wallpaper down! I promise you, your spouse will appreciate the remodel.

Instructions for your Marriage

Exodus 25: 8-9, 10-11, 23-24, 31-32

“Have the people of Israel build me a holy sanctuary so I can live among them. You must build this Tabernacle and its furnishings exactly according to the pattern I will show you.

10 “Have the people make an Ark of acacia wood—a sacred chest 45 inches long, 27 inches wide, and 27 inches high.[a] 11 Overlay it inside and outside with pure gold, and run a molding of gold all around it.

23 “Then make a table of acacia wood, 36 inches long, 18 inches wide, and 27 inches high.[a] 24 Overlay it with pure gold and run a gold molding around the edge.

31 “Make a lampstand of pure, hammered gold. Make the entire lampstand and its decorations of one piece—the base, center stem, lamp cups, buds, and petals. 32 Make it with six branches going out from the center stem, three on each side.

Every time, without fail, when I read the multiple chapters in Exodus that explain how the children of Israel were to build the Tabernacle, Ark of the Covenant, a table, lampstand….I sigh, knowing that I’ll be bored out of my mind going through all the detailed instructions- again. This time, however, as I drudged through all the specifics the Lord gave Moses I asked, “God, why does this matter to ME?!” Immediately, the Holy Spirit aha moment came: God offers the same detailed instructions for how to build my life- and my marriage. Instructions on how to love God- and my husband are listed in scripture and the details are filled in when I ask Him pinpointed questions.

I used to pray very generally:

“Lord, bless my marriage. Please help Doug see that I’m right about ________. Amen”

Fortunately, by observing how several of my mentors prayed, I realized something was lacking in my conversations with God. So, I began to ask detailed instructions on how to build my ark, table, lampstand…

“Father, Thank you for giving me a husband who loves you. Bless him as he seeks to obey you in his life, his marriage, his parenting, his job & his ministry. I repent for not submitting to his decision about ________ . I see now that I was full of fear and as a result, didn’t trust him- or You. Lord, how should I apologize to him? How do You want me to respond the next time I feel afraid? How can I love Doug in a way that is pleasing to You and him? Help me to obey Your instructions for my life, and my marriage. Amen.”

078Not only have these in depth conversations with God radically changed my life- and my relationship with my husband, I’ve watched in awe as God has done the same for those I’ve been privileged to pray with. If your life – and your marriage seem to be wandering in the wilderness, I encourage you to go up the mountain as Moses did, and worship God. Then, seek detailed instructions on how to love Him- and your spouse (note: God’s spoken Word will NEVER contradict His written Word, so if you have any doubt about what you’re hearing, seek help from a trusted mentor who is willing to intercede for and with you). Once you’ve obtained specific blueprints for your life from the Master, choose to obey Him by building your tabernacle in the exact order as instructed. I promise you, His plans are never boring.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

6 Feet Deep

Romans 7:14-25

14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power[b] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

IMG_4845Occasionally, when we darken the doors of a building where His church gathers, we hear a convicting sermon that points to the obvious sins in our life. But what about those sins that are 6 feet deep, just like the bodies that lie in the cemetery next to those beautiful sanctuaries? How on earth do we recognize those hidden sins that live in the darkness of our souls?

We ask the Holy Spirit to use a shovel, or a backhoe, or whatever earth mover He needs to remove the layers of dirt so that His light will illuminate the sinful nature that continues to reek havoc- and bring death to our daily lives.

Every time I read this passage that Paul penned so very long ago I realize that no matter how holy I think I am or how worthy I believe my call from Him is, I am faced with the dilemma that there is another power within me that is at war. When the Holy Spirit brings conviction to the things I’ve done wrong they always, always, always reflect the sin that was committed in the garden at the dawn of creation:

-lust of the eyes (I see it)

-lust of the flesh (I want it)

-the pride of life (I justify why I should have it)

Even though I think I love Gods law with all my heart, there are still places that are not yet fully submitted to His lordship. Places where I’ve been hurt because of my wrong expectations of Him- or others. Places where I’ve sinned and not repented. Places where I’ve failed to trust Him completely and subsequently decided to taste the fruit for myself.

It all sounds terribly defeating – this cycle of wanting to do what is right, but inevitably choosing wrong. But there is HOPE….. a Savior, who is Christ the Lord! Who was born of a virgin, suffered and died for our sake, so that we could live a life free from the slavery of sin. Free from spiritual and emotional death. Free from everlasting torment.

Do you want a relationship with this Savior? Do you want to experience the freedom He offers? Then I implore you to read the following passage, and do what it says. If you already have a relationship with Jesus, but find yourself feeling 6 feet deep, retreat to your secret place and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any area of hidden sin. Then confess, repent and forgive, as He leads. If, however, the dirt is not easily lifted, ask a godly mentor to bring a shovel over to help you dig!

Romans 10:9-12

Because if you acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe (adhere to, trust in, and rely on the truth) that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

10 For with the heart a person believes (adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Christ) and so is justified (declared righteous, acceptable to God), and with the mouth he confesses (declares openly and speaks out freely his faith) and confirms [his] salvation.

11 The Scripture says, No man who believes in Him [who adheres to, relies on, and trusts in Him] will [ever] be put to shame or be disappointed.

12 [No one] for there is no distinction between Jew and Greek. The same Lord is Lord over all [of us] and He generously bestows His riches upon all who call upon Him [in faith].

Gifts of the Spirit

1 Corinthians 12:27-28
27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. 28 Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:
first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.

Romans 12:4-8
4 For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. 6 We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; 7 ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; 8 the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

There is much debate among believers regarding the gifts of the Spirit. There are those who repeatedly seek the Lord, asking Him to give whichever gifts He chooses so that they can fulfill their part in the body of Christ. There are those who prefer to stay in their lukewarm bathtub and watch everyone else love God, love others and go make disciples. And there are those who believe the gifts of the Spirit were given only to the early church, and to operate in those “gifts” today is blasphemous.

I’ve been a member of all 3 groups. Growing up Presbyterian, Methodist and then joining a few non-denominational bodies (many were just “a Baptist church with a cool web site!”- Tim Hawkins) I experienced a myriad of theologies, church policies and core beliefs. Originally I was a HUGE skeptic, sitting on the back pew, judging a bunch of freaks speaking in unknown languages, predicting the future and healing people. Looking back over my initial exposure of the gifts being expressed corporately, I now realize that I was both incredibly naïve to the Spirit of God AND greatly lacking in the discerning of evil spirits. Just as the demons tried to draw attention to themselves during Jesus’ ministry on earth, their leader still continues to try to steal, kill and destroy what the Holy Spirit is doing amongst God’s people. BUT, lets not throw the baby out with the lukewarm bath water just because a few demons raise a ruckus! After all, as children of the King, we are able, through the power of His Spirit, to crush the enemy.

Luke 10:19
19 Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.

Years later, still being a non-conformist, I continued to snub those holy rollers, until my relationship with the Savior of the world began to deepen. The more I sought His presence and surrendered my will to His, the more He began to fill me to overflowing with His Spirit. And then, He moved me (literally) into a body that had many healthy functioning parts who were able to teach, lead and help me know more about the Father, Son and Spirit.

IMG_2963A decade or more has now passed since I began searching the scriptures and asking God to show me His truth about the gifts of the Spirit. He has been faithful to do so, over and over and over again, in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. I am in awe of His love and generosity for His children, for His church, and for those who don’t yet know Him.

If you, like me, are a skeptic or a lukewarm follower of Christ I want to encourage you, no- URGE you to seek God about His gifts. Find a bible with an extensive concordance and start digging through its life giving pages. Find a mentor in the body that is a little further along in their walk to teach you what they know. And, if you continue to struggle in your unbelief, ask the Holy Spirit to enable you to take authority over the power of the enemy in your life.

Then, hold on to your pew, because God is gonna pour out His Spirit all over your heart, mind and soul so that you can love Him- and others like never before!

Acts 2:17-20
17 ‘In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
 and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
 and your old men shall dream dreams.
18 Even upon my slaves, both men and women,
 in those days I will pour out my Spirit;
 and they shall prophesy.
19 And I will show portents in the heaven above
 and signs on the earth below,
 blood, and fire, and smoky mist.
20 The sun shall be turned to darkness
 and the moon to blood,
 before the coming of the Lord’s great and glorious day.

Matthew 22:37
37 He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

Knowing Christ

Philippians 3:1-10

Whatever happens, my dear brothers and sisters,[a] rejoice in the Lord. I never get tired of telling you these things, and I do it to safeguard your faith.

Watch out for those dogs, those people who do evil, those mutilators who say you must be circumcised to be saved. For we who worship by the Spirit of God[b] are the ones who are truly circumcised. We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort, though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!

I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.[c] For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death.

I was a member of the Pharisees who demanded the strictest obedience to the law- of myself. Although my actions seemed honorable, I tried to obey His commandments…. my hearts motivation was completely wrong. Essentially, what I was really doing was attempting to manipulate God into believing that I loved Him, so He would bless me. I was a Christian in name only, for my will had absolutely no intention of being crucified with Christ.

I, like Paul, once thought obeying the law was valuable. But when I began to encounter God in a supernatural way, I realized that everything- everything I had attempted to do, in my own strength, was absolute garbage. Love. God’s love is the key to knowing Christ.

IMG_4382My love for Christ began to blossom when I started to regularly read God’s Word, worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, and communicate with Him any time, any place, about any thing. One aspect of my prayer life that has absolutely revolutionized my relationship with Jesus is simply this: I ask Him, “Lord…I need you…please show me where you are….” (Remember, God is omnipresent, so He is always with us- whether we realize it or not). When I can see him (by the Spirit), my heart is overwhelmed with love for the One who gave His life for me. If I’m angry, frustrated, burdened, worried, scared, hurt, feeling lonely, betrayed, inadequate, unloved….I can run to Him, and He will gather me up in His arms each and every time. As I stay with Him, He’ll whisper words of love, identity and purpose to me. Sometimes He’ll even rebuke me- but it is always, always for my good. In His arms I am free to forgive and be forgiven. In His embrace I find shelter from the storms of life and promises for tomorrow. In the shadow of His wings, I fear Him alone.

Then, a miraculous exchange occurs: He tells me how to love Him

John 14:15

15 “If you love me, obey[a] my commandments.

and my heart melts, wanting nothing else than to surrender my will to His. And in that moment, I become righteous through faith in the One who loved me so much, that He surrendered His will to the Father to give His life for me.

In Secret

Matthew 6:5-6

“When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

I began praying in the synagogue (sanctuary) long before I ever started praying in my inner room. Back then, I was plagued with the fear of being exposed or criticized when praying with a small group of people, so I remained silent, content to be a voyeur. Prayer is an intensely intimate conversation with the Creator of the Universe and honestly, I wanted to control how deeply I related to Him- and His children.

After years of being encouraged by church leaders, I finally forced myself to devote some time in my very busy schedule to talk to God and read His Word on my own. I’ll admit, that even though I was submitted to these daily disciplines, I didn’t particularly enjoy them. The desire to want to go away in secret not only to talk to God, but also hear Him speak through His spoken and written Word took years to emerge.

“Jesus did not say- dream about thy Father in secret, but pray to thy Father in secret. Prayer is an effort of will….the great battle in private prayers is the overcoming of mental wool-gathering. We have to discipline our minds and concentrate on willful prayer”

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

IMG_4389Almost a decade later, I finally created a space in our master bedroom where I could go away, shut the door, lock it (remember, we have 4 children!!!) and pray to my Father in secret. Since then, that inner room has become a refuge, a safe place for me to pour out my anger, grief, joy, fear, gratitude, frustration, and worship to my Savior. Now, when I get up and get started on my very busy schedule without going there, my soul knows it…. and yearns to retreat back.

Prayer is a lifeline to the heart of the Father. Just as Jake Sully, in the movie Avatar had to learn to “connect” to Eywa (their god), we must learn to be still and connect to the one true God in order to know Him. Otherwise, we’ll never be able to love Him, love others, or go make disciples.

Do you have an inner room? When’s the last time you went there, closed the door and prayed to your Father in secret?