Self-Care

July 10, 2024 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Matthew 23:1-4, 25-26

Amplified Bible

23 Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, ²saying: “The scribes and Pharisees have seated themselves in Moses’ chair [of authority as teachers of the Law]; ³so practice and observe everything they tell you, but do not do as they do; for they preach [things], but do not practice them.⁴The scribes and Pharisees tie up ^[a]heavy loads [that are hard to bear] and place them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not lift a finger [to make them lighter].

²⁵“Woe to you, [self–righteous] scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the plate, but inside they are full of extortion and robbery and self–indulgence (unrestrained greed).²⁶You [spiritually] blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the plate[examine and change your inner self to conform to God’s precepts], so that the outside [your public life and deeds] may be clean also.

Since the Good Shepherd told me to LAY DOWN last year, I’ve been letting go of a few old things to embrace what’s new. In the midst of this great exchange, I came to realize that His grace was no longer sustaining the weight of some of the baggage I was carrying. What I previously lifted with ease in a former season suddenly felt heavy in this one. And so, the Lord, in His loving kindness invited me further into the valley of the shadow of death to bury some dry bones. As I did what He required, His Spirit began breathing resurrection life into my body… and soul. At times, I’ll admit, the process was extremely painful. My flesh cried out on more than one occasion as my mind, will and emotions wrestled between what I wanted and what He wanted.

Before laying down, I had been stuck in the hustle and bustle of everyday life; consumed by what I was doing, while neglecting who I was being. As the Lord corrected Martha, reorienting her heart towards His, so He did with me. His Word cut between soul and spirit, reminding me that the inside of my cup was far more valuable to Him than the outside. His rebuke to the Pharisee’s was even more direct. What they were teaching people was RIGHT, but the motivation of their hearts was all WRONG.

If we aren’t careful, we too can get stuck faking the funk- working up a sweat in our scrubbing bubbles to make our cups look good on the outside, while neglecting the filth that’s piling up on the inside. Religious activity has a way of setting us up for that kind of hypocrisy. If we’re not careful, we can easily fall prey to the enemy’s trap: desiring to be praised by people. It feels really good to be accepted, affirmed and acknowledge for our giftedness, but God deserves all the praise for what we do since everything comes from Him and is for Him. Furthermore, seeking the approval of man will always leave us disappointed anyway. Instead, Jesus invites us to choose a different way. His way…which leads to eternal life: pleasing the Father.

If you, like me, struggle with people pleasing, I have good news for you! Take heart, my friend. There’s always HOPE! Seek the Lord. You will find Him. Ask Him to examine every area of your soul that is bowing to the fear of man. He will ever so gently illuminate the dark places with His marvelous light, releasing you from the enemy’s lies which hold you captive.

I’m so grateful for the freedom to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth in this season and for the saints who told me what I needed to hear. I’m even thankful for the sinners who told me what I needed to hear, because God uses all things for my good- but especially for HIS glory!

As I’ve submit to this process of cleansing, the Lord has taught me a few valuable lessons about self-care in this season:

First and foremost, I must constantly care for my spirit. I literally cannot live without His bread and water sustaining me every day. The secret place is my happy place. Rising early every morning I worship Him in silence, reading/hearing scripture, praying in the spirit and being a scribe (journaling). That quiet time carries me the rest of the day as I continue meditating on His Word and praying, without ceasing.
Second, my soul needs compassionate care. In His presence, as I pour out the complaints in my mind, will and emotions, He comforts, cares and corrects anything I believe which is contrary to what He says about Himself, myself and others.
Third, my body needs continual care. After hiring a nutrition coach, I realized this temple needed some serious cleansing, ‘cuz what I was puttin’ in my mouth wasn’t holy! Our enemy has convinced us that fast, fake food will satisfy us. It’s a lie. God has already provided everything we need since the dawn of creation: what grows in the ground, what grazes on it, and what swims in the waters that separates the dry land. Spend the time and money required to eat healthy foods- and move your body!

Beloved, it’s time to clean the inside of our cups. Let’s not just be hearers of the Word, let’s do it! We need to practice what we preach. God is watching. And so is the world.

Help!

July 6, 2024 / Jodie / 3 Comments

Matthew 24:35

Sky and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away.

Psalm 121

¹I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
²My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!

³He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
⁴Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.

⁵The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
⁶The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.

⁷The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
⁸The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

Isaiah 40:3-5

³Listen! It’s the voice of someone shouting,
“Clear the way through the wilderness
    for the Lord!
Make a straight highway through the wasteland
    for our God!
⁴Fill in the valleys,
    and level the mountains and hills.
Straighten the curves,
    and smooth out the rough places.
⁵Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
    and all people will see it together.
    The Lord has spoken!”

As the cover of my current journal declares, God is Faithful.

Yesterday, after drinking my daily smoothie that contained a new ingredient I’d never consumed before, I noticed that I felt kind of weird. I laid down for a bit to rest while watching Chip & Joanna Gaines do their thing. Grabbing my bottle, I continued guzzling water like I normally do with the heat and humidity of the good old Florida sunshine in summertime. Within a few minutes, swallowing became difficult. I sat up straight, quickly ascertaining that I must be suffering an allergic reaction! Breathing slowly, I calmed my nervous system down and began praying in the Spirit.

“Help me, Lord!”

Peace rushed in.

At the same time, I was still very aware of what was happening inside my body. The swelling in my throat was increasing, so I decided it was time to ask someone for help. I walked into my man’s office, interrupting his work day. “Babe. Don’t panic. I think I’ve had an allergic reaction to something I drank. I’m having a hard time swallowing.” I sat down on the floor as he retrieved my water bottle and the Benadryl. I took two, immediately. I text a nurse practitioner friend, but there was no response. At that point, my throat felt like I’d swallowed a very hairy tennis ball! “Babe. I’m gonna need you to take me to the ER. But before we go, let’s pray.”

He did.

As I grabbed my things, he informed the kids what was going on. I saw the concern in their eyes as we rushed out the door. Fortunately for us, we live literally right down the street from our community hospital. Upon check in, once I told the admin what was happening, she promptly stopped the paperwork and called for a nurse. By the time I turned around, a woman was there with a wheelchair. She whisked me right into an available room, as the team rushed in. Within moments I was undressed, put into one of those fashionable hospital muumuus, an IV was started and my vital signs were being monitored. Asking how I was feeling, the head nurse agreed with my self diagnoses- also noting that my chest and back were covered with a rash. The nurse practitioner assigned to my care immediately ordered more anti-histamines and a steroid which were promptly administered through my IV.

Once the dust had settled, my man smiled at me as he sat there- holding all my belongings in his hands. I saw the care and concern in his beautiful blue eyes.

As the medication and fluids entered my system, the swelling stopped. In fact, the fuzzy tennis ball began shrinking! I was discharged within an hour or so. Armed with a prescription to continue taking meds at home, my man and our kids were now assigned to my care. They came rushing out to the garage before I even had a chance to open the car door! We spent the next few hours enjoying our abbreviated family fun night, eating dinner together and watching one of the gazillion Mission Impossible movies. The anti-histamines knocked me out before 9p.

Upon waking early this morning, I began processing yesterday’s events with the Lord in silence. Thanking Him for being with me; an ever-present help in times of trouble, my heart was filled with gratitude. As we walked through everything that happened, I remembered how He’d been with me in previous trials.

I heard Him validate who He is:

The Way,

the Truth,

the Life.

and I heard Him validate who I am in Him:

His beloved.

He also alerted me to what the enemy had spoken over me yesterday so that I could remain aware of his prowling around, acting like a lion. It confirmed the bible verse Holy Spirit woke me up with early this week.

In that moment, I realized He’d been sharpening my sword- which is the written and spoken Word of God. It’s the only weapon used to cut between soul and Spirit. Like those anti-histamine’s that block the histamine response in the body, only the Word can block the fiery arrows of the enemy.

Our battles belong to the Lord, but we have a part to play, my friend. We cannot fight lying down- being passive. Yesterday, when I realized the attack on my body, I sat up. Then I stood. And when He said “GO!” I went. Immediately. THIS is how we fight our battles. We hear and do the Word.

It isn’t enough to sit in the Lord’s presence during a worship service as the highs and lows of the songs sooth our soul. Man cannot live on corporate gatherings alone. Please understand me. We NEED to sit in His presence, alone and together. We NEED to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth as a covenant community and alone. Before we show up on a Sunday morning, or a Wednesday night, we NEED to be full of His bread and water. Like Jesus, we must get up while it’s still dark and go to a secret place to pray to the Father in heaven. Then we must train ourselves to be still and know Him.

Study the Word.

Pray.

Meditate on His Truth.

Once you’ve eaten the scroll for yourself, my friend: get up and do whatever the Father’s will is, in whatever way He says to do it!

Period.

End of sentence!

This blog post is the result of one of those holy moments. Usually prompted by a passage I’ve read, I simply write my response to the Lord in a journal each day. Journaling is just another way to communicate with the Lord. What I sometimes can’t get out of my heart through my mouth, my mind can easily translate through my hand as it scribbles my thoughts (conscience and sub-conscience) on paper. Most of the time what I scribe remains hidden from others. I love that God and I have secrets just between the two of us. But occasionally, He prompts me to transcribe His word and my words digitally, so that I can tell others the GOOD NEWS of the gospel! This is not my story. It’s His. His story transforms lives.

It’s time to sit up, stand up and sharpen your sword, my friend. God is preparing you to be an overcomer. You must be alert and aware at all times. The enemy is prowling around you and your family. Do not be defeated by his lies. God is with you and He is for YOU!

Revelation 12:11

¹¹And they overcame and conquered him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, for they did not love their life and renounce their faith even when faced with death.

(Thank you to those who prayed and reached out, when our eldest sent text messages.

And to the incredible team of doctors and nurses at the hospital who cared for me.

Grace and peace to all of you!)

Well Being

March 21, 2024 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Philippians 4:6-9

Amplified Bible, Classic Edition

⁶Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (^[a]definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

⁷And God’s peace [shall be yours, that ^[b]tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall ^[c]garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

⁹Practice what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living on it, and the God of peace (of ^[d]untroubled, undisturbed well–being) will be with you.

There’s a sign in my psychologist’s office that says “Well Being.” Beneath those words is a list of action items that contribute to us being made well:

Serving

Faith

Social

Relaxation

Fitness

Nutrition

Sleep

Fun

Time in Nature

Nine seemingly insignificant words. Simple, small things packed with Spirit & Truth. I’ve read and pondered that list for more than two years. I even took a picture and keep it on my phone as a reminder. And you know what!? Those seeds that have been sown into the soil of my heart are beginning to spring up! They are finally producing good fruit:

I’m serving.

I’m full of faith.

I’m social.

I’m relaxed.

I’m getting fit.

I’m sleeping.

I’m having more fun!

I’m spending time in nature.

And, now….

I’m consuming good nutrition!

Well Being

This month I began a new thing: I hired a nutrition coach. Why, you ask? I needed help. I couldn’t do it on my own. I tried. Repeatedly. And failed. I’ve been overweight and under active for years. One of my goals in moving to the Sunshine State was eating better and being more active again. Ever since I was a kid, I loved being in the great outdoors, spending time in nature. But somewhere in the middle, I forgot about being well. Amidst the hustle and bustle, the hurry and worry of life, I stopped caring for myself. I stopped loving myself as God loves me: body, soul and spirit.

There are many reasons the Lord called us to Florida. I’m convinced that one of them is this: I needed to get well. And now, there’s no excuse for me not getting my rear end outside (well, except the part where it feels like we’re living on the surface of the sun in the summertime!) The infrastructure in this state is conducive to an active lifestyle in nature that is preserved for its wildlife- and its people.

Last year my man and I started walking daily on the Ft. Fraser Trail near our house to prepare for our trip to Paris. We were so proud of ourselves for keeping up with our friends adventuring through France that we didn’t stop walking when we got home! Moving is not only good for our bodies, it’s good for our hearts as well. We walk and talk to each other and to God every morning.

By partnering personal fitness with the wisdom of a nutrition expert, I’m also learning what my body needs to thrive from the inside out. Honestly, I’ve been embarrassed by my ignorance in regards to food. God’s Word is true – we do perish for a lack of knowledge! But thank the Lord for those in the body of Christ who are helping me in my weakness. I’m eternally grateful for the encouragement I’ve received from so many in our covenant community. By practicing what I’ve learned, my spiritual, mental and nutritional/fitness health is producing good fruit. The peace of God is now ruling and reigning in my life. I am untroubled. I am undisturbed.

This is well being.

My friend, I want to encourage you today in the Lord. Are you sick – and tired? Physically, emotionally or spiritually? His strength is sufficient! Ask Him for help to get well, and be well, beloved. Begin by worshipping Him right now, in Spirit and Truth:

PRAY (v 6)

PRAISE Him! (v 6)

Receive His PEACE (v 6)

PRACTICE what is preached (v 9)

God or man?

December 6, 2023 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Proverbs 1:7

⁷The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools^[a] despise wisdom and instruction.

The Word is quite clear of the miracle that happens when our heart loves God with all of our mind, will and emotions. We become wise! It is also written that when we act foolishly; despising Wisdom and instruction, destruction awaits.

If the fear of the Lord brings wisdom, then what does the fear of man bring?

Witchcraft, perhaps?

Last year, I was in a challenging situation. In the midst of a chaotic environment I reacted to ongoing foolishness by trying to assert control in the flesh. Dumb idea! It’s a trauma response I’m very familiar with; control or be controlled. You’d understand if I told you my back story, but it’s not pertinent to our current conversation. In short, we try to control what we’re afraid of. But as wise master Yoda so eloquently declares, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering….”

Indeed, the fear of man leads us down a dark street. Just read Proverbs 5, 7 & 9. Solomon urges us to listen to Wisdom – not the Ho that is also crying out for our attention. Her path leads to ruin. Her soliciting weaves a web of manipulation that promises love; acknowledgement, acceptance and affirmation from others. But once we’re in her trap, she sucks the life out of us and slaughters our soul. She is an unfaithful lover. That witch lures us in and spins us round and around, churning our love into hate. We wind up hating her, ourselves and everyone that stands on both sides of the street.

I was like that stag caught in her trap.

I was like that ox led to slaughter.

How did I escape her captivity?

How did I break free from her web?

Short answer: I chose to submit to the Word of God and the Spirit of God.

Long answer: I read the Word day after day after day. I prayed day after day after day. I remained in covenant community day after day after day. Wise ones encouraged me and corrected me and discerned a spirit of witchcraft oppressing me.

(Allow me to interrupt this program already in progress with a brief commercial break!!!)

To all my Charismatic/Pentecostal brothers and sisters:

I love ya’ll! I love your fire. I love your zealousness for good works. I love how you just wanna run into the battle, kick butt and take names. But let’s not neglect that hidden treasure that requires us to slow down; ASKING, SEEKING & KNOCKING on the door of Wisdom. Once inside, we must be still. We must sit down, shut up and listen to what HE says before we speak. I agree, we are seated with Christ in heavenly places. I agree, the enemy is under our feet. But we’ve gotta learn how to pray. We’ve gotta learn how to follow His orders; submitting to the Lord, then resisting the devil, then watching him flee. Let’s stop yelling at that snake, telling him to “GO, in Jesus name!!!” if the person we’re praying for is partnering with his lies. Don’t forget; he will go when we confess, repent, and forgive, as the Spirit prompts.

The Son wants to release captives and set prisoners FREE from witchcraft- so let’s do what He tells us to do, when He tells us to do it. And remember, healing and deliverance doesn’t always happen in an instant through our favorite conference speaker, YouTube or Facebook personality. It also occurs over time in the secret place and the corporate place as we confess our sins to one another.

I was stuck in that web- in the swirl and twirl of witchcraft for a long time. Wisdom was needed to get me out. That Ho had made her bed and I literally crawled right up in it! I was sleeping with the enemy, people!!! My fear led to anger, which led to hate, which led to deep suffering in my soul. But thank the LORD, that is not the end of my story from the streets. God rescued me from darkness as I stopped quenching His Spirit and started submitting to His Word. He is strong and mighty to save those who are caught in a trap of sin.

My friend, as we close our time together, I’m compelled to ask: what side of the street are you living on?

The side of Wisdom…

or witchcraft?

The side where you fear God….

or man?

Guard your heart and choose carefully, dear one. For your decision will determine the course of your life.

Lay down, Cow!

November 16, 2023 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Psalm 23:1-2

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures…

When we moved to Florida two years ago, I became obsessed with cows. It seemed random at first. For heaven’s sake, we had cows in North Carolina and in California where I grew up! Yet, for some strange reason, I began squealing like a little girl every time we passed a pasture in Polk County.

Turns out, my actions weren’t random. Or strange.

I’ve especially been drawn to heifers, cows and calves. Recently, I learned from a friend that I am NOT a heifer- as some wrongly assumed. I’m actually a cow, thank you very much! A heifer has not given birth to a calf. This cow has delivered four! Armed with this newly acquired knowledge, I started to embrace the fact that I had been led to engage with these bovines. My friends who own cattle have since given me access to talk to and pet their animals- and pray over their land whenever I ask. Others have invited me to their home, which overlooks a neighbor’s herd to take pictures or just sit and stare at these magnificent creatures. Hey. Don’t judge me!

Cows are a picture of what I prayed for. What I’m trying to tell you is, this crazy infatuation is really from the Lord!

Allow me to explain…

Polk County was once home to the greatest number of cattle barons in the state of Florida. Lots and lots of land. Lots and lots of cows!!! Bartow was named the county seat after a baron donated a large tract of land to ensure the regions governmental authority rested in his hometown. How did the Bullard’s come to reside in the county of Polk, in the city of Bartow you ask? Well, it wasn’t my plan, I can tell ya that. MY plan was to live in Lakeland. The covenant community we’re a part of is there. Most of our friends are there. The parks and lakes and walking/biking trails we use are there. The majority of restaurants and shops we frequent are…you guessed it, THERE. The “tow” as locals have nicknamed it, was definitely not on our radar when shopping for houses online. But, His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are definitely not our thoughts. After being awake all night with explosive diarrhea, hearing the Lord said “I gave you what you wanted” (Psalm 106:15) we withdrew the first contract we made on our dream home- a beautiful hacienda in Haines City. Immediately, my man and I prayed, “your Kingdom come, your will be done- give us the house YOU want!” Turns out the seventh offer was the one He wanted. In July 2021, we finally closed on our home in Bartow, in a city and neighborhood we did not want to live in. But did I mention that our subdivision was formerly a cow pasture!? We literally heard (pun intended!) cows mooing each morning from the old homestead directly behind us, as we sipped coffee on our lanai. Unfortunately for us, those cows have since moved on to greener pastures.

In the spring of this year, the Lord told me it was time to LAY DOWN. After a bit of a struggle, I finally relented. Since obeying His voice, I began realizing what He’s been trying to teach me all along. Psalm 23 gives the analogy of Him being a good shepherd and us being good sheep, willing to be lead- regardless of where He goes. In this season, He led me to LAY DOWN; to rest…in green pastures. Cows LAY DOWN in green pastures every day. Each afternoon or evening, as we drive down Eagle Lake Road towards home I see heifers, cows and calves lying in the grass chewing their cud. After grazing all day, they rest and regurgitate what they’ve ingested. The same, as it turns out, happens with me. Every morning, in the secret place I hear my Shepherd’s voice in Scripture, Silence and Solitude. Then I start mooing about all the things and listen for His leading. Sometimes I know immediately where we’re going. And other times, I get up and go about my day, chewing the cud. As I do, Holy Spirit reminds me of passages I’ve read or visions, dreams and encounters with Jesus I’ve experience alone or corporately. He brings to remembrance that I must pray in the Spirit, asking Jesus what He’s asking the Father. In due season, at just the right time, I hear from heaven and a piece of the puzzle will find its place in the portrait I see Him painting.

Today was one of those moments that connected the dot to dots. God has literally given me what I asked for:

To know Him as Shepherd

To go where He leads

To LAY DOWN in green pastures

To restore my soul

My friend, I’m here to tell ya that this cow has tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord! I’m leaning on my Shepherd. I’m finding my voice in the pasture. And in due season, I’m gonna come up outta this place SHOUTING to every heifer, cow and calf that will listen,

Clear the way for the Lord’s coming!

(Isaiah 40, John 1)

Enriched

November 1, 2023 / Jodie / Leave a comment

1 Corinthians 1:4-9

New Living Translation

⁴I always thank my God for you and for the gracious gifts he has given you, now that you belong to Christ Jesus. ⁵Through him, God has enriched your church in every way—with all of your eloquent words and all of your knowledge. ⁶This confirms that what I told you about Christ is true. ⁷Now you have every spiritual gift you need as you eagerly wait for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁸He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns. ⁹God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

This morning at corporate prayer, as a young man read 1 Corinthians 1:4-9, my mind fixated on the word ENRICHED. As he continued speaking & praying into the passage, I was reminded of the marketing phrase etched on most bags of flour in our grocery stores. Advertisers ensure consumers that its contents are “enriched” with vital nutrients for our good.

It’s a lie.

As a stereotypical homeschool mom, I know how to make & bake bread. In previous seasons, we were members of a local co-op that purchased hundreds of pounds of wheat each quarter. After doing a bit of research and learning from older, wiser mommas, our family eventually invested in a grain grinder and bread maker. Having previously suffered from what I thought was a gluten intolerance, I was pleasantly surprised when my home-made loaves not only tasted better, they actually improved my digestion. The bread we were consuming was full of life giving vitamins and minerals!

Once a grain of wheat is broken, the consumer has approximately 72 hours to grind, make, bake and eat before the loaf is void of all nutritional value. Otherwise, it rots.

The same was true of the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness. But they only had 24 hours before maggots consumed their meal. Manna fell by God’s grace, from heaven every day and for 6 days God’s children had to go out and get it, eat it and digest it. They could only store what they gathered on the 6^th day for Sabbath. Otherwise, what they tried to contain for themselves would rot. It would, in essence return to them void.

Beloved, such is the case with all of God’s children. We cannot live without our daily bread. All that’s required is to get up and get it! Consuming other people’s loaves that sit on shelves year after year won’t sustain us. Our souls were made to eat the bread of life every day. When we wake up each morning, we must go to a secret place, shut the door, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to breathe on the pages of Scripture. Only then will we receive the nutrients our hearts yearn for: wisdom & revelation of Jesus Christ. If we do, He promises: we will never be hungry again…and His Word will NOT return void!!!

John 6:35

New Living Translation

³⁵Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Through the Valley, into the Wilderness

August 30, 2023 / Jodie / 1 Comment

Psalm 23:4

⁴Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.

Mark 1:12-13

¹²Immediately the [Holy] Spirit [from within] drove Him out into the wilderness (desert),

¹³And He stayed in the wilderness (desert) forty days, being tempted [all the while] by Satan; and He was with the wild beasts, and the angels ministered to Him [continually].

During a youth camp service at Forest Home in the 80’s I had what some call a mountain high experience. While singing the chorus of “Awesome God,” an altar call was given to me and my fellow Gen X-ers.

I didn’t go forward.

Yet, as I stood there listening to the crescendo of the music, looking out at the freshly falling snow, I felt at home in His presence. Amidst the noise, I opened the door of my heart to the One who was gently knocking. In that moment, on a hilltop in Southern California, my soul received the seeds that were sown since childhood. Later that year, however, I entered a dark season of the soul. Walking through a deep, sunless valley, the enemy snatched up what had fallen on the footpath.

I’ve walked through many valleys and wilderness seasons since then. Nearly every decade, construction on this temple of His Spirit seems to come to a screeching halt. At least, from outside the house. Yet on the inside, He’s busy scattering more seeds in the soil of my soul. Deep below the surface, where no one can see, the Word is taking root as mountain high moments give way to valleys. And in due season, I’m faced with counting the cost of following Him through the valley, into the wilderness again.

Surrounded by death and desert and dry bones, I’m continuing to grieve and grumble AND grow in this season. The cost of leaving Egypt to follow Him to the Promised Land has cost far more than I expected. But I’m persevering. And I’m beginning to come up higher; above myself, above the powers and principalities of darkness, to the throne of grace!

Through this valley, I am:

RESTING in Him

LEAD by Him

RESTORED through Him

HONORING His name

WALKING with Him

FEARLESS in Him

PROTECTED & COMFORTED by Him

FEASTING at His table

RECEIVING His honor

ANOINTED in Him

OVERFLOWING in Him

PURSUED by Him

LIVING in His house

Into this wilderness, I am:

DIGESTING the scroll, before speaking

GRATEFUL for the manna He’s providing

SPEAKING to the rock, instead of striking it in anger

EATING locusts and honey, regardless of how crazy I look to others

PREPARING to receive His seed, before sowing into others

CLEARING the way in my heart for Him

MAKING a straight path in Him

FILLING in the valleys in Him

LEVELING the mountains & hills in Him

STRAIGHTENING the curves in Him

SMOOTHING the rough places in Him

It’s time to consider the cost, friends. Jesus is building His Father’s house of prayer – through the valleys and into the wilderness. Are you willing to follow His Spirit, wherever He leads?

Luke 14:28

²⁸“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?