Soul

When you see Me

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

John 12:44-46

44 Jesus shouted to the crowds, “If you trust me, you are trusting not only me, but also God who sent me. 45 For when you see me, you are seeing the one who sent me. 46 I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark.

As a child, did you ever awaken in the middle of the night after a bad dream and cry out “daddy…daddy I NEED you!?”

Why do we choose to remain alone in the dark when we become adults? Why do we stop crying out to our Father for help?

We refuse to humble ourselves and pray.

2 Chronicles 7:14

14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

Despite the fact that I realize prayer can eclipse the darkness around- and in me, it’s still not always my first weapon of choice. Instead, I often rely on my superior intellect and abilities to light my candle so that I can find the fastest, easiest way out of the dark.

Case in point:

IMG_0218As our family boarded an Airbus A321 during the wee morning hours last Saturday to travel to our vacation destination, I was once again consumed with worry. “What if there’s another terrorist attack? What if the pilot has mental illness and crashes the plane? What if we hit unexpected turbulence and fall from the sky? What will I do? How will I comfort our children?”

As I tried to rationalize these fears with statistics (you know the one about being more likely to die in a car accident that on an airplane?) I heard the Holy Spirit whisper “I am with you….”

Would I trust Him, or myself?

Thankfully, I chose Him.

But just to make sure that He was on that plane, this daughter cried out “daddy, daddy…I NEED you- please show me where you are!” When I looked towards the center aisle I saw Him (not physically, but in the Spirit) sitting on the floor, with the biggest grin, shouting “this is gonna be FuuuuUN!” I chuckled after I noticed the fighter pilot glasses He was wearing and control yoke He was holding to fly the plane (He looked a bit like Snoopy, aboard his red doghouse!!!).

IMG_0226As we flew south like birds for winter, the light of the sun began to rise and penetrate the darkness inside the aircraft. Simultaneously, the light of the Son began to rise and penetrate the darkness inside my soul. And once again, I was able to know that HE is God, that HE is in control, that HE holds the keys to death and the grave…. and when its time for me to die physically, HE will be with me- and then, then I will spend all of eternity praising the One who sent Him!

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Genesis 37:3-4
3 Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe.[b] 4 But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.

Joseph’s brothers hated him because their dad continually showed more love for their little brother- not them.

It happens all too frequently in family, between siblings, in marriage, among friends, and even in the church. We blame another person as a result of feeling rejected by the one we wanted to love us… more.

All of us are heart wired to be loved. God designed us that way. We come into this world screaming for attention from our father and mother. If our heart isn’t filled, we’ll throw a hissy fit, disobey, or do whatever it takes to be noticed. Add a sibling to the mix and the desire seems to increase- exponentially!

Left unsatisfied, our broken heart eventually falls prey to the tactics of the enemy. As a result, we unknowingly begin to form a hardened heart, which blames everyone around us, except for the person who didn’t love us….more.

If our wounded heart is left unattended for too long, we inevitably begin to hurt others, lie and cause overwhelming grief to the ones closest to us.

Genesis 37:23-35
23 So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe he was wearing. 24 Then they grabbed him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 Then, just as they were sitting down to eat, they looked up and saw a caravan of camels in the distance coming toward them. It was a group of Ishmaelite traders taking a load of gum, balm, and aromatic resin from Gilead down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain by killing our brother? We’d have to cover up the crime.[a] 27 Instead of hurting him, let’s sell him to those Ishmaelite traders. After all, he is our brother—our own flesh and blood!” And his brothers agreed. 28 So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces[b] of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.
29 Some time later, Reuben returned to get Joseph out of the cistern. When he discovered that Joseph was missing, he tore his clothes in grief. 30 Then he went back to his brothers and lamented, “The boy is gone! What will I do now?”
31 Then the brothers killed a young goat and dipped Joseph’s robe in its blood. 32 They sent the beautiful robe to their father with this message: “Look at what we found. Doesn’t this robe belong to your son?”
33 Their father recognized it immediately. “Yes,” he said, “it is my son’s robe. A wild animal must have eaten him. Joseph has clearly been torn to pieces!” 34 Then Jacob tore his clothes and dressed himself in burlap. He mourned deeply for his son for a long time. 35 His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep.

The only cure to release the toxin of hatred that forms in our hearts is to throw ourselves down at the throne of Grace. When the King of Kings begins to perform healing heart surgery and shines His light through the damaged areas of our soul, we begin to see that those we were jealous of and spent a great deal of energy hating weren’t the ones who originally caused us pain. Occasionally, the Holy Spirit may even make a deep incision, revealing that we have blamed Our Creator. Whether we consciously think about it or not, in the recesses of our heart, sometimes we find it difficult to understand how a loving God would allow us to be hurt by those He placed in our lives to love and protect us. Blame God? No way. That’s just not right. God is perfect, sovereign, holy, righteous, blameless….
Yeah, He is. But that doesn’t mean that our imperfect hearts don’t wanna point the finger at the One in charge. We’re sinners, after all, who often lean toward the selfish and self-serving desires rather than the chosen, redeemed, restored heart of a saint. Yet, knowing this, God in his loving kindness still beckons us not to deny our feelings or hide our brokenness in an empty cistern. IMG_4310Instead, He calls us to pour out our complaints so that He can show us His perspective, His truth, His love.

Psalm 142:1-2
1 I cry out to the Lord;
 I plead for the Lord’s mercy.
2 I pour out my complaints before him
 and tell him all my troubles.

And miraculously, once we confess, repent and forgive, we are able to receive more unfailing love from Our Father than all the grain in Pharaoh’s storehouses.

Ephesians 3:18
18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

Flow

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John 4:14

14 But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

IMG_4431My mother and father in law bought me a copy of “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers for my birthday 5 months after I married their son. I read a few of the pages, but it was too King James-ish for me, so I placed it on our bookshelf next to several other unused bibles and devotionals and it sat there- for years.

On January 1st, 2014 I decided to dust off the special edition leather bound book and give it another go. After reading the Word each day, I now long to sit and soak in the Spirit and Truth reflected in the pages that were penned by Oswald nearly 100 years ago. My simple mind often has to re-read his complex analogies and college level vocabulary words to understand his intent, but once revelation breathes on it, the Holy Spirit flows through my thirsty soul.

This morning after I had my fill of gazing at and hearing the bold creek flow by our Cherokee Mountain Cabin, I stepped inside, grabbed my bible, devotional and journal and sat by the fire. IMG_4466As is typical of my non-coincidental Father, I read about John baptizing with water and prophesying about the One who would baptize with the Holy Spirit and fire…..and immediately, my ears tuned into a song that was playing from my iTunes library about God’s Spirit being poured out! I smiled as I then turned to read Oswald’s thought for today:

“The picture our Lord gives is not that of a channel but a fountain. “Be being filled,” and the sweetness of vital relationship to Jesus will flow out of the saint as lavishly as it is imparted to him. If you find your life is not flowing out as it should, you are to blame; something has obstructed the flow. Keep right at the Source, and-you will be blessed personally? No, out of you will flow rivers of living water, irrepressible life.

We are to be centres through which Jesus can flow as rivers of living water in blessing to everyone. Some of us are like the Dead Sea, always taking in but never giving out, because we are not rightly related to the Lord Jesus. As surely as we receive from Him, He will pour out through us, and in the measure He is not pouring out, there is a defect in our relationship to Him. Is there anything that hinders your belief in Him? If not, Jesus says, out of you will flow rivers of living water. It is not a blessing passed on, not an experience stated, but a river continually flowing. Keep at the source, guard well your belief in Jesus Christ and your relationship to Him, and there will be a steady flow for other lives, no dryness and no deadness.

Is it not too extravagant to say that out of an individual believer rivers are going to flow? “I do not see the rivers,” you say. Never look at yourself from the standpoint of Who am I? In the history of God’s work you will nearly always find that it has started in the obscure, the unknown, the ignored, but the steadfastly true to Jesus Christ.”

God, I want to know you more. I want to surrender my will to yours- completely. I ask that you remove any boulders, any branches, any man made obstacles that are preventing your Holy Spirit from flowing through every area of my soul. Thank you for your love, your sacrifice, your constant pursuit of me. May gratitude flow from my lips in praise to you all the days of my life.

John 7:38

 Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.

In Secret

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Matthew 6:5-6

5 “When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 6 But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

I began praying in the synagogue (sanctuary) long before I ever started praying in my inner room. Back then, I was plagued with the fear of being exposed or criticized when praying with a small group of people, so I remained silent, content to be a voyeur. Prayer is an intensely intimate conversation with the Creator of the Universe and honestly, I wanted to control how deeply I related to Him- and His children.

After years of being encouraged by church leaders, I finally forced myself to devote some time in my very busy schedule to talk to God and read His Word on my own. I’ll admit, that even though I was submitted to these daily disciplines, I didn’t particularly enjoy them. The desire to want to go away in secret not only to talk to God, but also hear Him speak through His spoken and written Word took years to emerge.

“Jesus did not say- dream about thy Father in secret, but pray to thy Father in secret. Prayer is an effort of will….the great battle in private prayers is the overcoming of mental wool-gathering. We have to discipline our minds and concentrate on willful prayer”

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

IMG_4389Almost a decade later, I finally created a space in our master bedroom where I could go away, shut the door, lock it (remember, we have 4 children!!!) and pray to my Father in secret. Since then, that inner room has become a refuge, a safe place for me to pour out my anger, grief, joy, fear, gratitude, frustration, and worship to my Savior. Now, when I get up and get started on my very busy schedule without going there, my soul knows it…. and yearns to retreat back.

Prayer is a lifeline to the heart of the Father. Just as Jake Sully, in the movie Avatar had to learn to “connect” to Eywa (their god), we must learn to be still and connect to the one true God in order to know Him. Otherwise, we’ll never be able to love Him, love others, or go make disciples.

Do you have an inner room? When’s the last time you went there, closed the door and prayed to your Father in secret?

Afraid of the Dark

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Genesis 1:2

2 The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. 

IMG_4381For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of the dark. As a little girl, when sleepwalking, I would quickly move towards the nightlights that illuminated certain rooms in our home. As a newly married adult, I installed nightlights in every room of our apartment when my husband worked the night shift so that I could quickly inspect every square foot when I woke in the middle of the night.

Throughout my life I’ve tried plugging in nightlights to the dark areas of my soul. But regardless of how hard I tried to illuminate myself, I was always left feeling empty. In my stubbornness & pride, I attempted to do what only the Holy Spirit can do; bring light, revelation, comfort & healing to the dark, broken areas. In my efforts to control my fear, I neglected to see that God has and will always be in control of the darkness and His Spirit has and will always hover over the surface of the deep.

I’ve recently learned that when I quit trying to expel the darkness in my own strength, choosing instead to listen to the One who created the heavens and the earth, I do not need to be afraid! For God has called me, by name and said “Jodie, you are mine…when you go through deep waters, I WILL be with you!”

Isaiah 43:1-2

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
    O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
 I have called you by name; you are mine.

2When you go through deep waters,
 I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
 you will not drown…..

Fear is a powerful tool in the hands of the enemy. It feeds itself by lurking in the shadows of our mind, will and emotions. But, when we trust God and allow His nightlight to penetrate the darkness, we see that our fears were often over exaggerated and distorted in relationship to His Truth. Sometimes, yes, the Truth may hurt, for God has not promised us a life free from suffering. Yet, as we go through the deep waters, our relationship with The Father will become deeper, for we are being transformed into the image of His Son.

“To choose to suffer means that there is something wrong; to choose God’s will even if it means suffering is a very different thing. No healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he chooses God’s will, as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not.”

-Oswald Chambers

Are you afraid of the dark? I want you to know, my friend, that God is more powerful than the one who lives in darkness, more able to plunge into the deep water to save you, and more loving than anyone on this earth can reflect. Believe me when I say, you can trust Him…..so go, sit before Him and ask Him to shine His light on the areas of your life that need to be illuminated.

Spirit & Truth

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John 4:24

24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”

In order for God’s children to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, we must accept His Son & surrender to His Spirit.

For without Jesus, we cannot come to the Father, know Truth or have life.

John 14:6

6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

And without the Spirit, we cannot love Jesus, obey God’s commandments or help each other.

John 14:15-21

15 “If you love me, obey[a] my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate,[b] who will never leave you. 17 He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.[c] 18 No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. 19 Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. 20 When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.”

1 Corinthians 12:4-11

4 There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 5 There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. 6 God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.

7 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 8 To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice[a]; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.[b] 9 The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. 10 He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages,[c] while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. 11 It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.

If we were to be completely honest with one another, I’m sure we would discover that each of us gravitates heavily towards Truth – or the Spirit. But, relying on one and not the other is like climbing on to the seat of a teeter-totter with no counter weight on the other side. Inevitably, when we sit down our dairy air is going to come crashing down against the ground, inflicting pain all over us (I know this from personal experience!) But, if we climb on the playground equipment with Jesus on the other side, He will bring the balance of a life lived as He modeled, in Spirit and in Truth.

IMG_2961When we neglect the Truth, found in God’s spoken and written Word we are setting ourselves up for a crash- and consequently, a lot of pain. All of us, whether we want to admit it or not, have areas of darkness in our soul, where we have been deceived by the evil one…..and as a result, we continue believing his lies about God, ourselves and others. Sadly, all too often, because of our fear, shame, pride (fill in the ___________) we stifle/quench the Holy Spirit, thus denying Jesus to deliver us from the darkness, so that we may live in freedom AND help others to do the same!

1 Thessalonians 5:19

19 Quench not the Spirit.

“The voice of the Spirit is as gentle as a zephyr, so gentle that unless you are living in perfect communion with God, you never hear it. The checks of the Spirit come in the most extraordinarily gentle ways, and if you are not sensitive enough to detect His voice, you will quench it, and your personal spiritual life will be impaired. His checks always come as a still small voice, so small that no one but the saint notices them…Whenever the Spirit checks, call a halt and get the thing right, or you will go on grieving Him without knowing it.”

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

“By warning us not to “stifle the Holy Spirit,” Paul means that we should not ignore or toss aside the gifts the Holy Spirit gives. Here, he mentions prophesy; in 1 Corinthians 14:39 he mentions speaking in tongues. Sometimes spiritual gifts are controversial, and they may cause division in a church. Rather than trying to solve the problems, some Christians prefer to smother the gifts. This impoverishes the church. We should not stifle the Holy Spirit’s work in anyone’s life but encourage the full expression of these gifts to benefit the whole body of Christ.”

Life Application Study Bible

Father,

I repent for quenching your Spirit, whom you sent to help lead me into all Truth. I ask that you shine your light on the dark areas of my soul so that I may know and worship you. Enable me to use the gifts you have given me so that I can do my part in the Body of Christ.

May your Kingdom come, may your will be done.

Amen

Idol in My Hand

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Isaiah 44

18 Such stupidity and ignorance!
 Their eyes are closed, and they cannot see.
 Their minds are shut, and they cannot think.

19 The person who made the idol never stops to reflect,
  “Why, it’s just a block of wood!
 I burned half of it for heat
 and used it to bake my bread and roast my meat.
How can the rest of it be a god?
    Should I bow down to worship a piece of wood?”

20 The poor, deluded fool feeds on ashes.
 He trusts something that can’t help him at all.
Yet he cannot bring himself to ask,
    “Is this idol that I’m holding in my hand a lie?”

Recently, the Lord asked me to fast social media- again. A week into the elimination of checking news feeds, notifications, friend and follower requests, ministry and blog stats, I realized something extraordinary….joy had returned to the munIMG_4342dane tasks of my life! I had previously assumed I knew God’s reason for the fast, but I now know I was once again leaning on my own understanding….and believing a lie.

The truth, which He illuminated in His Word today exposed an idol that I had been holding in my hand; my cell phone, with its many social networking apps.

Throughout my journey as a disciple of Jesus and leader of other followers, I’ve tried diligently to find my love, worth and acceptance from God alone. Unfortunately, there have been times in which I’ve been deceived into believing the number of followers, likes on our page, “friends,” or comments on my blogs is an indicator of how much I am loved and how “successful” I am in leading others. Without even consciously realizing it, I have been a poor deluded fool. I have feed on ashes, by measuring a block of wood, drawing a pattern on it, carving it into a human figure (Isaiah 44:13) and continuing to worship it.

Jesus wasn’t concerned with being liked by “friends,” networking to obtain more followers, holding larger fish and loaves conferences, or writing #trendy blog posts. His life focus was entirely about loving God & surrendering His will in complete obedience to Him. By doing so, His soul was filled to overflowing with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galations 5:22-23). You see, Jesus felt loved, worthy and accepted by His Father- regardless of how others adored…or hated Him.

Through no effort of His own, Jesus became a famous preacher, teacher, healer and “friend” of many…..yet He always, always, always diverted His praise to the One in which it was due; the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of man and woman, the Creator of me, the Creator of my “ministry.”

“If it is only because of my preaching that people desire to be better, they will never get anywhere near Jesus Christ. Anything that flatters me in my preaching of the Gospel will end in making me a traitor to Jesus; I prevent the creative power of His Redemption from doing its work.”

-Oswald Chamber, My Utmost for His Highest

Father, thank you for ever so gently exposing the lie of the enemy in my soul. Obliterate my pride. Destroy the idol that I have created. Teach me to look to you alone to fill me. Help me to lay down my life for others– regardless if they adore me or hate me, just as your Son did. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness. Amen