Autism & ADHD

/ Jodie / 3 Comments

2 Corinthians 12: 1-10

This boasting will do no good, but I must go on. I will reluctantly tell about visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 was caught up to the third heaven fourteen years ago. Whether I was in my body or out of my body, I don’t know—only God knows. 3 Yes, only God knows whether I was in my body or outside my body. But I do know 4 that I was caught up[b] to paradise and heard things so astounding that they cannot be expressed in words, things no human is allowed to tell.

5 That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses. 6 If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message,7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So, to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I’ve had several thorns in my flesh for the past 18 years.

Parenting. fullsizeoutput_4db7.jpeg

We have four marvelous children, all sinners, but nevertheless all marvelous. As their mother, I’ve endured numerous hardships while attempting to train them in the way that they should go. It began at conception. Literally.  Conception. Every single one of our dear blessings from the Lord brought suffering from the second God began forming them in my womb. Nausea, vomiting, dry heaving, back aches, muscle spasms, excessive emotional outbursts…and that was just during pregnancy! I’ll spare you the gory details of childbirth. Thank God for epidurals, because the one I gave birth to “naturally” nearly killed me. I hope to never endure that kind of pain again. Ever.

A particularly painful thorn came in the midst of post-partum depression, a job change and moving to a new town with our three little girls.

Autism.

Ours was a typical story of diagnosis. I knew something was different about our daughter, but I was ignored, talked down to, and treated like a child by several doctors. Finally, when she began stimming in the midst of a well child visit, our PA who was fresh outta med school recommended that she be evaluated. No. Really?! Several years, tears and tests later the label was given. I was relieved to finally have concrete evidence from the “experts” so that I could understand how she was made and how to help her be everything God destined her to be!

Another painful thorn came in the midst of a major transition for our family. My husband began traveling with his job, we changed churches, and I was home-managing, home-schooling and ministering through our non-profit, alone. Alone with Jesus, our 3 girls and our son. I’ll admit, I felt ill equipped to parent a boy when he was born. I grew up with an older sister. My dad was a boy- once, and so was my husband, but I had no relational experience with little boys. After the terrible toddler years, our little boy developed into a young man with a very strong will. Destined to be a leader, he struggled to submit to authority. Continually frustrated with his assertiveness, excessive talking, loud noises and non-stop activity, I frequently found myself frustrated, yelling, crying and occasionally stomping through the house in attempts to mold, shape, or pound him into submission.

It didn’t work.

In the middle of 4th grade we hit a wall. A brick wall reinforced with rebar. It was nearly impossible to complete chores or school without a meltdown from both of us. I cried out to the Lord. I cried out to friends and family for advice. Then I sought permission from my husband to begin testing him academically and behaviorally. I knew that something was different. It was hidden below the surface of his actions, but I needed to humble myself and ask for help.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and an Auditory Processing issue.

I was relieved to finally have concrete evidence from the “experts” so that I could understand how he was made and how to help him be everything God destined him to be!

Since the diagnosis late last year, we’ve implemented a few new things into his schedule, but I still have much to learn in order to teach our son. As I continue to seek knowledge for my head, my heart will continue to seek the Lord for wisdom. I’ll need more grace. Much more. And I’ll need discernment to know how to accept the way he’s made and not make excuses for his behavior when its rooted in rebellion.

I’m grateful for the thorns in my life, BIG and small. They’ve inflicted pain and infected me with hardship, but all of them, ALL- of – them have been for my good and for God’s glory. I’m thankful for our “normal” kids (whatever “normal” means!), and our daughter with Autism and our son with ADHD. I consider it pure joy that we’ve faced these trails together with the One who made them so wonderfully complex. 

Psalm 139:13-16

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

Pray for me

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Acts 8:9-24 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 A man named Simon had been a sorcerer there for many years, amazing the people of Samaria and claiming to be someone great. 10 Everyone, from the least to the greatest, often spoke of him as “the Great One—the Power of God.” 11 They listened closely to him because for a long time he had astounded them with his magic.

12 But now the people believed Philip’s message of Good News concerning the Kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ. As a result, many men and women were baptized. 13 Then Simon himself believed and was baptized. He began following Philip wherever he went, and he was amazed by the signs and great miracles Philip performed.

14 When the apostles in Jerusalem heard that the people of Samaria had accepted God’s message, they sent Peter and John there. 15 As soon as they arrived, they prayed for these new believers to receive the Holy Spirit. 16 The Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them, for they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 17 Then Peter and John laid their hands upon these believers, and they received the Holy Spirit.

18 When Simon saw that the Spirit was given when the apostles laid their hands on people, he offered them money to buy this power. 19 “Let me have this power, too,” he exclaimed, “so that when I lay my hands on people, they will receive the Holy Spirit!”

20 But Peter replied, “May your money be destroyed with you for thinking God’s gift can be bought! 21 You can have no part in this, for your heart is not right with God. 22 Repent of your wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive your evil thoughts, 23 for I can see that you are full of bitter jealousy and are held captive by sin.”

24 “Pray to the Lord for me,” Simon exclaimed, “that these terrible things you’ve said won’t happen to me!”

Simon had been astounding the people of Samaria with his sorcery for many years, but when the Good News was preached by Philip, he lost his followers. He, along with many other men and women believed in Jesus and were baptized after hearing Philips message. Amazed by the signs and miracles Philip performed, Simon began following him.

Then Peter and John arrived in the city.

The apostles laid hands on and prayed for the new believers to receive the Holy Spirit. Apparently, Simon was not among the many who received, but he saw the POWER that manifested amongst the people. He wanted that POWER, so he attempted to purchase it from Peter.

He was quickly and firmly rebuked.

Simon had believed and was baptized, but his heart (soul & spirit) was not right with God. Peter implored him to repent to the Lord and be forgiven from the sin that held him captive: PRIDE. Instead, he audaciously commanded Peter to pray for him so that he wouldn’t be destroyed by his sin.

IMG_4466We may not be practicing magic as Simon, but we certainly practice exercising our PRIDE regularly, don’t we? Like Simon, we may even be drawn to the POWER we see manifesting through the lives of others who preach the Good News. Like Simon, we may be jealous of the many who have been baptized with fire, as was prophesied by John the Baptist. Like Simon, we may even believe in the Son of God and have been baptized in water. But if we haven’t received the Holy Spirit as Jesus promised to his disciples (and future disciples), we cannot be set free from the sin that so easily entangles us.

We cannot purchase freedom from sin.

We cannot deliver ourselves from PRIDE.

We cannot buy the POWER to release the Holy Spirit into our lives- or others.

We cannot command or manipulate others in the body of Christ to get what we want.

We can believe in Jesus, be baptized in water and receive the Holy Spirit when we humble ourselves and PRAY.

The next time you are tempted to tell another believer, “pray for me” you may wanna stop and ask the Lord to check your heart. If He reveals wickedness, repent quickly of your bitter jealousy (you probably believe God hears & answers their prayers so you’re attempting to manipulate their access to the Lord). Then ask another believer who is filled with the Holy Spirit if they would lay their hands on you and pray for you to receive the POWER of the Holy Spirit!

A Wife’s Consent

/ Jodie / 1 Comment

Acts 5: 1-11 New Living Translation (NLT)

5 But there was a certain man named Ananias who, with his wife, Sapphira, sold some property. 2 He brought part of the money to the apostles, claiming it was the full amount. With his wife’s consent, he kept the rest.

3 Then Peter said, “Ananias, why have you let Satan fill your heart? You lied to the Holy Spirit, and you kept some of the money for yourself. 4 The property was yours to sell or not sell, as you wished. And after selling it, the money was also yours to give away. How could you do a thing like this? You weren’t lying to us but to God!”

5 As soon as Ananias heard these words, he fell to the floor and died. Everyone who heard about it was terrified. 6 Then some young men got up, wrapped him in a sheet, and took him out and buried him.

7 About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened.8 Peter asked her, “Was this the price you and your husband received for your land?”

“Yes,” she replied, “that was the price.”

9 And Peter said, “How could the two of you even think of conspiring to test the Spirit of the Lord like this? The young men who buried your husband are just outside the door, and they will carry you out, too.”

10 Instantly, she fell to the floor and died. When the young men came in and saw that she was dead, they carried her out and buried her beside her husband.11 Great fear gripped the entire church and everyone else who heard what had happened.

Ananias. A man who, with his wife Sapphira, believed the Good News of Jesus Christ and were part of the early church. Perhaps they were included in the 5,000+ who heard Peter preach the gospel after Pentecost? Perhaps they hadn’t yet received water baptism before he and John were brought before the council, arrested and put in prison? Perhaps they hadn’t received the baptism of the Holy Spirit by fire? Perhaps their story would have been different if they had?

Perhaps.

But those chapters were never written.

Immediately after Ananias & Sapphira’s brief introduction in chapter 5 verse 1 of the book of Acts, we realize that Ananias was greedy for acknowledgement & affirmation. Upon the sale of his property, he also became greedy for the cash he earned. As Peter explained to him, it was HIS land to keep or sell.  It was HIS money to keep or give away. But he made a decision in his heart which would cost him his life- and the life of his wife.

He chose to fear man instead of fearing God.

Ananias wanted to appear generous, like his fellow believer, Joseph, who had sold a field he owned and given ALL the money to the apostles so that they could distribute it to those in need (Acts 4:36-37). Ananias wasn’t prompted by the Holy Spirit to sell his land. Ananias was prompted by Satan to be like Joseph. He has tempted by the lust of the eyes, flesh and pride of life. A thought captured his mind; sell the land, give some of the money to church leaders, and appear “righteous” like Joseph. Panic invaded his emotions; what if I need some of the money to provide for me and my family?! He made a willful choice; seek approval & affirmation from the apostles by giving part of the profit to the church and keep the rest.

Then he obtained his wife’s consent!!!!

Sapphira made the fatal decision to fear man instead of fearing God. Whether she was afraid to tell her husband “no” because of religious customs or societal pressure, she chose to fear his wrath, rejection, or withdrawal of provision instead of fearing God. She gave consent to lie- to him, and herself.

IMG_4845

They lied to the Holy Spirit!

They lied to the church!

Both sinned.

Both fell short of the glory of God.

Both died suddenly.

Both were an example to the believers.

If only they were the one couple in church history who sought acknowledgement and affirmation from religious leaders. If only they were the only husband and wife duo who wanted to appear generous, but were actually greedy.

If only….

Men still scheme and devise plans to look righteous. Women still give consent to lies. They may not die a physical death in front of others, but death comes non-the-less. Decay follows as Satan slithers his way through families and causes disunity amongst believers.

What are we to do, then?

Scripture is clear: confront the sin. If a man or woman fails to confess, the young men need to get up, wrap them in a sheet and bury them! (see also Matthew 18: 15-20) The church in America has become experts in sweeping sin under the rug. God is not fooled. May the Holy Spirit fall on the bride of Christ with all-consuming fire, causing us to confess, repent, and once more fear God. Only then can we be equipped to preach the gospel to every tribe, tongue and nation so that others will believe & accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit and go, make disciples.

Like Scarlet, As Snow

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Isaiah 1:10-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

10 Listen to the Lord, you leaders of “Sodom.”
    Listen to the law of our God, people of “Gomorrah.”
11 “What makes you think I want all your sacrifices?”
    says the Lord.
“I am sick of your burnt offerings of rams
    and the fat of fattened cattle.
I get no pleasure from the blood
    of bulls and lambs and goats.
12 When you come to worship me,
    who asked you to parade through my courts with all your ceremony?
13 Stop bringing me your meaningless gifts;
    the incense of your offerings disgusts me!
As for your celebrations of the new moon and the Sabbath
    and your special days for fasting—
they are all sinful and false.
    I want no more of your pious meetings.
14 I hate your new moon celebrations and your annual festivals.
    They are a burden to me. I cannot stand them!
15 When you lift up your hands in prayer, I will not look.
    Though you offer many prayers, I will not listen,
    for your hands are covered with the blood of innocent victims.
16 Wash yourselves and be clean!
    Get your sins out of my sight.
    Give up your evil ways.
17 Learn to do good.
    Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
    Defend the cause of orphans.
    Fight for the rights of widows.

18 “Come now, let’s settle this,”
    says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
    I will make them as white as snow.
Though they are red like crimson,
    I will make them as white as wool.
19 If you will only obey me,
    you will have plenty to eat.
20 But if you turn away and refuse to listen,
    you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!”

I love the first snowfall of winter. IMG_4319Tiny frozen flakes cover a multitude of branches, leaves, and blades of dormant grass. The earth is blanketed in white and I am immediately taken back to memories of childhood playing at our grandparent’s home in La Pine, Oregon. Snow drifts several feet high covered the landscape- along with our white poodle as he attempted to paint the snow yellow! Gone now is the little girl who bundled up from head to toe to play in frigid temperatures. In her place remains an adult-ish woman who now prefers to watch our children write their own memories in the snow as I sit beside the roaring fireplace with a book and hot beverage in hand.

Gone too is the spiritual little girl who first met her Savior when she was 9 months pregnant with our first little girl. In her place remains an adult-ish spiritual woman who now prefers an authentic, life giving relationship with her Lord instead of the religious ceremony that once devoured her.

I accepted and believed in Jesus in the final few months of the 20th century and was baptized with water the following year. However, my baptism with fire didn’t occur for several more years (see Acts 1: 4-5). Although my life was saved for all eternity, the abundant life that Scripture promised was not yet realized. I was a religious zealot. I sought acceptance and approval from church leaders to satisfy my ravenous pride. I made sacrifices of my time, talent and treasure. I paraded through the courts of worship auditoriums with religious ceremony. I brought meaningless gifts to the altar. I lifted my blood covered hands in prayer meetings in an attempt to look washed and clean. All the while, I refused to give up my evil ways.

I attended worship services, but I did not worship the Lord in Spirit and Truth. I heard the Truth, but I wasn’t set free. I acknowledged the Spirit, but I wasn’t filled with power. But just as He promised in His Word, the Lord poured out His Spirit on me while I was in the living room praying with my husband one day… and I began speaking in other languages! Shortly after, I began to prophesy, see visions and dream dreams (see Acts 2:17-20).

I was transformed.

How?

Grace.

Deliverance.

And discipline.

God’s Spirit released the gift of repentance in my soul. The warmth of His love melted my hard heart just as the sun dissolves the snowflakes from the earth when the sun rises. As solid gave way to liquid, my religious activity was exposed and the scarlet sin of rebellion was revealed beneath. I began to pray as Jesus taught His disciples to pray. I began to read His Word and do what it says. I began to confess my sins to the Lord- and others. I began to acknowledge that I did not love God. I began to grieve over my disobedience.

Then He caused wonders in the heavens above and signs on the earth below: this spotted sheep, who’s sins were like scarlet, were made white as snow.

All because the Lamb of God was slain.

And now, this white as wool sheep listens to the Shepherd’s voice… and obeys Him, instead of offering sacrifices.

At this table

/ Jodie / 4 Comments

Luke 22:21 New Living Translation (NLT)

21 “But here at this table, sitting among us as a friend, is the man who will betray me.

Yesterday, after our son and his friends (two brothers) played a few games of tag football & Minecraft on the WiiU he asked if they could stay for lunch. We said “sure, but you’re going to have to bake some more rolls for sandwiches.” With a little help from his dad, lunch was served and my man returned to the living room to join the rest of our family. The three boys talked and ate at the kitchen table until they left to go play in the neighborhood creek. A few minutes later, they came back to retrieve their bikes for a ride.

Meanwhile, it was time for a –day- after- Christmas- I’ve –eaten- too- much- and- laid- around- in- my- pj’s- for- 24- hours – walk through the neighborhood. Off with the jammies and into my yoga pants! I go to grab my iPhone from the entry table (near the side door that our son and his friends always enter/exit the house), but it wasn’t there.

“Honey, can you please call my phone…”

Silence.

The family joined in the search through the entire household

No phone.

Radio our son on the walkie talkie “have you seen my phone?” “No, mom.”

Login to iCloud on my MacBook. Find my iPhone. Offline. Locate. Maps begins searching… Resume search through the house. Walkie our son again. “Can you ask the boys if they’ve seen my phone?” “They’re gone. They said they had to go to their dads” Sucker punch in the soul. “Come home… now.”

(in my head) No. NO. NO! One of those boys wouldn’t betray me. Our son has been their friend. We’ve welcomed them into our home. We’ve conversed with them. We’ve feed them. We’ve driven them home at night after playing all afternoon. No. NO. NO!

Our daughter yells “Mom, your phone has been located.” Not our home address. Last known location: near the boy’s home. My man and our son drive over. The bikes are in the front yard, but no one answers the door. They follow the iMap last known address to an abandoned house nearby and search the area. No phone. A friend of ours that works with the Sheriff’s office joins in the search. Still no phone.

Send “lost” signal & place device in lost/stolen mode. Delete content. Suspend usage through Verizon. Report theft to credit card companies (Apple Pay).

Realization: I have been a victim of a crime…in our home….while at home….betrayed by a “friend!”

Revelation: I am not a victim- I am a child of God (identity). I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. God will use this for His glory and my good.

Call the police.

File a report.

Officer returns from questioning the boy’s mother (she said they had been at their father’s home all day).

Gather our family into the living room to pray.

Forgive.

Ask the Holy Spirit to bring conviction & confession.

Rebuke the enemy.

Declare God’s goodness!

My man and I finally made it out for that walk, but within minutes of our departure an unknown car follows us, parks, and an angry, embarrassed mother calls to us. She prompts her son to speak. He confesses. After several minutes of conversation about Jesus, character, friendship and betrayal we tell him he is forgiven and we won’t press charges. I ask to hug the mother and whisper blessing and encouragement into her ear as she cries. My man shakes the young man’s hand and says “this is finished. You owe us nothing. Don’t do it again.”

John 13:21-27 New Living Translation (NLT)

21 Now Jesus was deeply troubled, and he exclaimed, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me!”

22 The disciples looked at each other, wondering whom he could mean. 23 The disciple Jesus loved was sitting next to Jesus at the table. 24 Simon Peter motioned to him to ask, “Who’s he talking about?” 25 So that disciple leaned over to Jesus and asked, “Lord, who is it?”

26 Jesus responded, “It is the one to whom I give the bread I dip in the bowl.” And when he had dipped it, he gave it to Judas, son of Simon Iscariot. 27 When Judas had eaten the bread, Satan entered into him. Then Jesus told him, “Hurry and do what you’re going to do.”

The phone was returned and has been completely restored through Apple and Verizon. But there’s a place in my heart for that young man- that child- that isn’t restored. Forgiven, but no longer trusted. While sitting at this table, Image 12-27-17 at 2.12 PMeating bread with our son, Satan entered… and when he was departing, he was tempted: His eyes saw my iPhone. His flesh wanted it. His pride convinced him that he deserved it. And he made a choice to steal it. He made a choice to betray me. He made a choice to betray the family that has loved him as a neighbor, as Jesus commands.

But we will choose to continue to love this broken young man. We will choose to continue to pray for him, his mother and his siblings. And if the Lord prompts us, we will choose to pursue a relationship with him with the understanding that our love is free, but our trust must be earned.

Wait for Him

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

John 6:16-21

New Living Translation (NLT)

16 That evening Jesus’ disciples went down to the shore to wait for him. 17 But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn’t come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake toward Capernaum. 18 Soon a gale swept down upon them, and the sea grew very rough. 19 They had rowed three or four miles[a] when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, 20 but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here![b]” 21 Then they were eager to let him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!

Patience is often missing from my fruit bowl. I prefer things in life to be done quickly. I don’t like to invest a lot of time in completing a task. I don’t like waiting around for people. I don’t like taking long road trips at night. I like to reach my destination immediately.

The disciples had just witnessed a miracle: Jesus fed 5,000 men! Afterwards, the Lord “slipped away …by himself” (verse 15) because He knew the people wanted Him to rule and reign based on their expectations of a king. So the 12 sat along the shore of the Sea of Galilee to wait for Him.

But it started to get dark.

So they decided to leave, without Him.

IMG_6986They hopped into the boat and began their journey across the sea. Rowing against gusting winds and surging waves, they endured a violent storm that suddenly emerged. After several miles of striving to reach their destination alone they looked out and saw Jesus- walking on the water! The men were terrified. Jesus spoke. Their fear ceased. The Lord climbed into the boat and they arrived at their destination immediately.

Apparently, patience was missing from the disciples’ fruit bowl too. They were probably tired from a long workday. After all, they had been busy serving people fish and bread and cleaning up all the leftovers. They had a long commute to get to their next place of ministry. It was getting dark. They didn’t have lights on their boat. They didn’t have GPS. They had to row for several miles to get to their hotel. They wanted to order room service. They needed to check ESPN/Facebook/email before going to bed.

So they came to a logical conclusion: let’s just go….without Jesus.

We do the same thing.

We watch the crowd receive a miraculous abundance of fish and bread. We serve others as Jesus teaches about the Kingdom of God. Afterwards, we sit at the seashore and wait for the Savior to arrive. We’re tired. We’re ready to get to our destination, NOW. We just want to relax and rest. But it gets dark. So we decide to get in the boat by ourselves. We row, and row, and row. Suddenly, we are overcome by hurricane force winds and waves. We are terrified. Perhaps we should just keep our head down and think about how to go around the storm? Perhaps we should just muster up more strength to row against the harsh conditions? Perhaps we should just throw the rest of our boat mates overboard to lighten the load? Or, perhaps we should just stop… ….and look up.

What’s that? It’s Jesus! Walking on the water. He’s coming towards us! He’s getting in the boat. He commands fear to leave. He is with us.

 

 

My fellow disciple,

Wait for Him.

Don’t get in the boat unless He is with you.

Don’t be afraid…you’ll reach your destination.

I have Autism

/ Jodie / 1 Comment

Our daughter delivered the following speech to fellow homeschoolers at a Gavel Club meeting last week. We received such encouraging feedback that I asked her permission to post her words here:

“Autism isn’t something you should be afraid of because there are lots of people with it all over the world. Today, one out of every one hundred and fifty people are affected by autism. The only reason I know about this is because I have autism. Autism doesn’t make your life miserable, but it is a challenge to overcome. I have had autism all my life and today I am going to tell you a little about how autism works.

ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. First of all, what is autism? “Autism is a life-long disability that prevents individual from properly understanding what they see, hear and sense.” What are the characteristics of autism? “Language is slow and the use of words is without attachment to the normal meaning. Those who are able to use language effectively may still use unusual metaphors or speak in a formal and monotone voice.”

Typically, people with autism are concrete thinkers. That means we take everything you say in a literal manner. For example, when my mom used to say “your killing me,” I thought I was actually killing her with what I was doing. In the movie about the life of Temple Grandin, when someone was talking to her about animal husbandry, she saw in her brain two cows getting married.

Another challenge is communication. People with autism hate to stand in front of a crowd, and for this occasion, giving a speech. None like making eye contact, especially for a long period of time, which for me is two seconds. No one knows why this is difficult for the autistic person, but it is. People with Autism also have a hard time making friendships. They aren’t outgoing or are social people. They usually stand off the side and might not say anything or do anything. For many of them, autistic people are very lonely and friendless in teen years and childhood. They enjoy spending time by themselves. I usually feel it easier to be by myself because it is easier to talk to myself and I don’t have to worry if nobody understands me. If you kept up with how often I would socialize, it is very rare, especially in a single day. After school I would spend hours outside enjoying myself.

 

One huge advantage to having autism is either hardly feeling any pain or feeling it tremendously. I hardly take pain seriously. When I get hurt I usually find a way to bring me happiness. For example, a year ago I was stung by a yellow jacked and sure it hurt a little, but the fun part of all this was that the jacket’s butt was still attached to my arm. People with autism also don’t have very much compassion upon others who would get hurt. Autistic people do take pain differently but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. We do care but sometimes we all need to just man up.

Another easy way to find out someone with autism is that they don’t like physical touch unless if they ask for it. None of them like cuddling and some don’t even like hugging. For a while, I remember not wanting to hug anybody other than family. One word I use to describe my space is “my bubble.” Lots of times I needed my bubble and sometimes I would be ok to get out of it.

Memory is a huge challenge for the majority of autistic people. About 60% to 70% of all autistic people have trouble with memory. Most of them can remember words, but not huge sentences that have three of more different ideas or commands. One example is when your mom tells you to wash and shred the lettuce, peel and cut the carrots, dice the tomatoes and set the plates out for lunch. We cannot think that much. For us autistic people, we can only have a couple of thoughts in our brain at once. If you tried to pack all those things in at once, we won’t remember all of it.

IMG_6683.JPG

I remember my whole life being ashamed of having autism. Every time I looked in a mirror I was so ashamed of what God had done to me. I remember saying to myself “I am not a masterpiece.” One day, that all changed. I was outside talking to God and out of nowhere I feel like Paul by being stunned by a bright light. In the midst of the light I head a voice saying, “Malorie, I love you. I didn’t give you autism to make you feel ashamed or not to have friends. I made for you a purpose, on purpose. You are unique and special.” After that, I didn’t feel a bit of shame. I believe God wanted me to make this speech and I’m glad he revealed to me the joy of autism a year ago. I am happy and no longer sad when I hear the word autism. Autism isn’t something that makes a person weird or crazy. We are different, and different is good.”

-MJB