Psalm 38:4 New Living Translation (NLT)
4 My guilt overwhelms me— it is a burden too heavy to bear.
Last night, while preparing breakfast for dinner, I had another meltdown. As the bacon fumes began to rise through the air, so did my anger. I had already been snippy with our daughter over something stupid, so when I broke 4 egg yolks in a row while attempting to flip pancakes, fry eggs and grade schoolwork I LOST IT!
As broken egg shells went hurling through the room into the sink I loudly commanded “everyone out of the kitchen…I’m going to loose it. Go….NOW!” While listening to the sound of footsteps scurry out of the room, I grabbed for the spatula to turn another flapjack and quietly muddled “what’s going on, Lord?!” When He whispered His reply, I began to weep…right over the griddle…right over those broken eggs.
It wasn’t so much His answer that broke me, it was the realization that I continue to succumb to the same sin over and over and over again. Although the Lord has enabled me to take back some of the ground the enemy has stolen from me in this area, I continue to be deceived by his crafty schemes in his pursuits to rob my time.
We all have the same 24 hours in a day to get things done, but we don’t all have the same purposes to fulfill within them. So, why do I continue to do things, which are outside of what God has called me to do?
Answer: I’m spending too much time being a man pleaser, not a God pleaser.
As my Father whispered to me “you aren’t saying ‘no’ ” I instantly knew that the burden of always saying “yes” to others is too heavy for me to bear. My soul was a broken egg- crying out to be scooped back up into my Father’s arms and just like Humpty Dumpty, be put back together again.
So today, instead of gathering all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men I went straight to the King and asked for His forgiveness. As always, He promptly gave it…and then He restored my soul to the place in which it belongs- focused on pleasing Him.
Psalm 23 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
Now, I wonder how long before He gives me the opportunity to apply this life lesson?
Answer: Probably before I crack another egg for breakfast in the morning!
Lord, Help me to always say “yes” to you. Help me to ask you before I say “yes” to anyone else. Give me the courage to say “no” when you tell me to- regardless of the consequences. May I learn to be more like your servant, Paul:
Galatians 1:10 American Standard Version (ASV)
10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? or am I striving to please men? if I were still pleasing men, I should not be a servant of Christ.