Romans 2:4

⁴ Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

I’ve often been critical of the Israelites in their rebellion towards God. But this week, I realized: I’m just like them.

Our family is on a journey to the land God promised. The battle has been brutal. The number of casualties continues to rise; and another idol just perished in my life.

We’ve made eight offers on six houses in Polk County, FL. Yes. That’s correct. 8 offers. 6 houses; 2 of which we made 2 different offers on. On Monday, one of them was accepted on our dream home- a Spanish style hacienda in Haines City. Fully remodeled on half an acre of land, complete with courtyards accessible from every room, an outdoor fountain, and swimming pool! Our realtor had fought a good fight on our behalf. We had prayed, and prayed and prayed some more. Beating out the competition with cash offers and higher escalation clauses, the owners felt compassion for our situation and accepted our offer, after we agreed to their high-risk counter.

Once the contract was signed, I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I told my husband my concerns. He agreed with my assessment, but both of us continued to wrestle…not understanding why God would allow us to win, yet feel so defeated!? The next blow came when we showed our kids the photos of “our” house. Their reaction was not what we expected. Instead, their words were an exact confirmation of the warning signs I just voiced to my man a few minutes earlier, behind closed doors. Since it was nearly midnight, we decided we needed to sleep on it. Sleep didn’t come. At 4:30a, I shot out of bed when I heard the Word: 

Psalm 106:13-15

¹³ They soon forgot His works;
They did not wait for His counsel,
¹⁴ But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness,
And tested God in the desert.
¹⁵ And He gave them their request,
But sent leanness into their soul.

Ungrateful for the manna God continues to provide us in this wilderness season, I had been whining for quail! Hidden in the dark recesses of my heart, I was secretly longing for the comforts of my home in Egypt. I believed I had suffered enough in this barren wasteland- losing my mother & moving in with my father. “I’m done!” I repeatedly told Him. So, He gave me what I asked for: a beautiful home. Because, after all, home is where my heart is. Did you catch that, friend? HOME is where my heart is. 

What my Father won’t do to rescue me from the bonds of slavery. What He won’t do to deliver me from the control of Pharaoh. What He won’t do to prove His love for me. He longs for my reciprocated affection. He wants a deep, intimate relationship with me. He wants my heart. My whole heart. He is a righteous, jealous God. So, as every good father does, He disciplines those He loves so that they will repent and return to Him. I gotta tell ya, friend, this spanking was painful. I still feel the sting, but I also feel incredibly loved and grateful that He intervened before we lost more than our reputation. 

We called our realtor Tuesday morning to deliver the news and to apologize for our rebellion that impacted her- as well as the owner, selling agent and other buyers. She was gracious and continues to intervene, naturally and supernaturally on our behalf in this crazy market. 

God’s promise for our family still stands. He has called us to be a part of a covenant community in Lakeland, FL. He will provide the right home, at the right price, at the right time. It may not be our dream home, but it will be a house of prayer. It will be a place where the hungry are fed and the filthy are washed with the Word. It’s what He said. His Word will not return void. He is faithful. He is just. He is worthy to be praised in the wilderness, for  

He is my Promised Land. 

He is my home.