Author: Jodie

Today’s Trouble

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Matthew 6:25-34

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

IMG_5157This morning, as I walked through our unfinished kitchen to make myself a cup of strong coffee I laughed as I looked out the window and saw large snowflakes cascading down from heaven. “20% chance, huh?” I said to myself. “Well, GREAT- I suppose this means the contractor and cabinet installer won’t be coming to finish the job today!!!”

As the text messages and emails began coming in, confirming my assumptions that everything was cancelled, I continued to try to laugh off the worry creeping into my mind. “Will this renovation ever end? When and how am I going to reschedule all this stuff….I’m already over booked as it is!!!”

Pause.

Retreat to my secret place to read His Word and talk to Him.

Ok. All better.

Really?

No.

I then picked up the book my mom recently loaned me and began reading another chapter of Kay Warren’s “Choose Joy Because Happiness Isn’t Enough.” I even stopped to type, print, and post the following quote on our dry erase board to convince myself to stop worrying:

“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things.”

Ok. All better.

Really?

No.

I went back to the kitchen (did I mention, its still not finished, after nearly 6 weeks?!?) for a snack and to gaze out the window at the beauty of His creation, covered in a blanket of white. With a full tummy, I returned to my secret place to watch the little birds hopping around the backyard, pecking through the snow for their snack. Then it hit me:

“LOOK AT THE BIRDS!!!! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (emphasis mine)

Why do I worry? It’s because I don’t trust God. Instead, I rebel against Him by allowing my fear (fear of losing valuable time, fear of not being able to get everything done, fear of disappointing others, fear of losing control of….everything!!!) to dominate my mind, will and emotions. But yet, even though I continue to sin against My Father, He takes the time out of His VERY busy schedule to show me, through the majesty of His creation, that I am far more valuable to Him than the little birds.

As the revelation of His truth began melting into my soul, like the snowflakes that will soon disappear when the temperature begins to rise, I realized that tomorrow will bring enough worries of its own. So, today I choose to sit right here in my secret place and stare out the window at the millions of tiny snowflakes lying all over our yard and praise the One who continues to remind me to trust Him…..in everything.

Completely Trustworthy

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Psalm 119:137-144

137 O Lord, you are righteous,
 and your regulations are fair.

138 Your laws are perfect
 and completely trustworthy.

139 I am overwhelmed with indignation,
 for my enemies have disregarded your words.

140 Your promises have been thoroughly tested;
    that is why I love them so much.

141 I am insignificant and despised,
 but I don’t forget your commandments.

142 Your justice is eternal,
 and your instructions are perfectly true.

143 As pressure and stress bear down on me,
 I find joy in your commands.

144 Your laws are always right;
 help me to understand them so I may live.

As we approach the 5th week of our kitchen renovation, the pressure and stress of completing the project continues to bear down on me. As a result, I continue to desperately need the Holy Spirit to help me with my anger!

IMG_5124Living in a home with no stove to cook healthy meals for our family of 6 has been inconvenient. Washing dishes in the master bathroom sink has been annoying. Cleaning up construction debris left by others has been a nuisance. Yet, despite all the rearranging of our every day life the thing that has affected me the most are the promises that have been delivered and subsequently broken….over and over and over again.

Construction projects are notorious for running behind schedule. It’s completely understandable that plans don’t always go the way we anticipate on the job site. The Lord has given me bucket loads of grace to make concessions for ideas that didn’t work and a great deal of patience in waiting to get our kitchen- and entire house back in order! Yet, almost daily I’ve had to continually deal with the anger that has risen up in my soul towards the vendors & craftsmen who have proven to be completely untrustworthy.

Anger is an emotion given to us by God. There’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. And there’s nothing sacrilegious about expressing why we feel upset to our Heavenly Father. Where it crosses the line into sin is when we scream, cuss, rant, rave, call others every name in the book, throw things or pitch a huge hissy fit.

Ephesians 4:26

26 Be angry, and yet do not sin…

Sadly, I’ve been guilty of all of the above. I’ve been that “b” word, that OCD control freak, that vengeful woman named Jezebel whose story is told in 1 Kings. But miraculously, none of my former alter egos have shown their ugly face during this remodel project. Praise the Lord! For God has been helping me submit my feelings to Him and express my emotions in a healthy and productive way.

Let’s be honest: men and women are not always trustworthy. I sure haven’t been. Still, that doesn’t mean I abandon every person who has ever disappointed me and go live alone in a cave on some private island for the rest of my life. So, what can I do?

I can:

  • Be still and know that God is always completely trustworthy. He will never break His promises to me.
  • Express my anger to God (without sinning) about others who have been untrustworthy.
  • Seek God’s perspective on whether I am to confront the person (in love) or let it go (meaning = allow God to be my avenger)
  • Seek God’s perspective on whether or not the relationship should continue.
  • Forgive the person who has failed to meet my expectations.

If you were to ask me if I ever want to live through another kitchen renovation I would probably tell you “HECK NO!” But, I don’t want to deny the Lord any opportunity He chooses to help me understand His ways amidst the moments of life when I am overwhelmed by anger. Because, through the power of His Spirit, I am finally beginning to understand that He uses all things together for my good.

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Saved & Holy

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Romans 10:9

9 If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

2 Timothy 1:9

9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.

The process of becoming saved seems rather quick and easy. In what feels like only a moment, the Holy Spirit moves in our hearts and we are compelled to confess that Jesus is Lord and believe that He was raised from the dead, saving us from eternal punishment.

The process of becoming holy, however, seems incredibly long and painful- sort of like our remodel project.

IMG_5028As my husband and I were inspecting the work done so far in our kitchen, half bath and mudroom we realized this is our first major home project together! Our prior homes were either previously owned or a spec house, so we purchased them as is. We had no choice of cabinets, flooring, appliances, hardware, etc. so we never got to experience the arduous task of creating a vision and budget, making construction decisions, solving problems with contractors, making more decisions, solving more problems, adjusting the budget…

Following Jesus often feels like a constant remodel project in becoming holy. In the beginning of my journey as a disciple I had a “vision” of what my life should look like. I also made a “budget,” “construction” decisions, solved problems with others…you get the idea. As a result, many of my life projects were a complete mess! Only when I learned to consult the Master Builder first, was I able to get His vision for my future, His promises to see the blueprints become a project, His budget and His answers to the problems that needed to be solved.

Each day, as He continues to show me areas of my soul that need to be repaired, remodeled or completely rebuilt I have the opportunity to submit my plans to His.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

When I choose to obey the Lord, I allow His Spirit to fill me with His holiness……which I’ve needed a LOT of these past few weeks while living in a construction zone with no sink, dishwasher or oven to feed our family- not to mention the constant noise, dirt and sawdust that has covered every piece of furniture we own!!!

Let God Speak

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Exodus 20:19

19 And they said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen. But don’t let God speak directly to us, or we will die!”

As I read the following words from Oswald Chambers this morning, my heart ached and my eyes began to water, as I reflected on the season of my life when my marriage was falling apart…

“We show how little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we will not obey Him. If it is only the servants voice we hear, we feel it is not imperative, we can say, “Well, that is simply your own idea, though I don’t deny it is probably God’s truth.”

Am I putting God in the humiliating position of having treated me as a child of His whilst all the time I have been ignoring Him? When I do hear Him, the humiliation I have put on Him comes back on me- “Lord, why was I so dull and so obstinate?” This is always the result when once we do hear God. The real delight of hearing Him is tempered with shame in having been so long in hearing Him.”

Because of the shame I was feeling, I told no one what was going on when I was contemplating leaving my husband. Day after day I ranted and raved and wept alone. I was desperate for help, but too stubborn to ask for it. Months later, when Doug invited me to join one of his counseling sessions, I finally relented and went along. During the hour long appointment, I sat on the sofa, hearing the counselor speak to us, but I was determined not to listen. I was convinced that Doug was the problem- not me, therefore I didn’t need to speak to anyone…including God. Many sessions and months later the Holy Spirit broke through my stubborn pride and my marriage began the road to restoration in which we are currently still traveling. What I have since discovered has been a key in understanding how to deal with conflict with my spouse:

-FIRST, I must speak directly to God, or areas of my soul (mind, will and emotions) will remain “dead.”

-THEN, I must obey what He says.

-IF I am unable to hear Him (because of sin or deception by the enemy), I must seek godly counsel. 

Proverbs 15:22

22 Without consultation, plans are frustrated, 
But with many counselors they succeed.

IMG_2982Even in the midst of this season in my life, as I am reaping the blessings of God’s restoration of my marriage I still speak and listen to my Father about “issues” with my husband. Sometimes I hear Him very clearly and His Spirit brings confirmation….or conviction. But sometimes, He is silent, or what I hear sounds a lot like what Jodie wants and it doesn’t quite match His character, which is reflected in His Word. In those times I speak with one or more of my mentors. Then, after I have listened to their wise counsel and guidance I go back to the Lord to seek His Truth. It’s a genius communication system our God put in place long before I was created to be His daughter, or Doug’s wife. Prayer has radically changed my life as a follower of Jesus and it has become one of the keys to oneness in my marriage.

If your marriage is dead, and you haven’t been hearing God speak, I encourage you to go ahead and ask “Lord, why was I so dull and so obstinate?” Then listen……and obey what the Holy Spirit whispers. If He remains silent, seek counsel from a godly friend or mentor.

A New Thing

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Isaiah 43:18-19

18 “Forget the former things;
 do not dwell on the past.

19 See, I am doing a new thing!
 Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
 I am making a way in the wilderness
 and streams in the wasteland.

20 The wild animals honor me,
 the jackals and the owls,
 because I provide water in the wilderness
 and streams in the wasteland,
 to give drink to my people, my chosen,

21 the people I formed for myself
 that they may proclaim my praise.

When we began our remodel project a few weeks ago, our youngest daughter began to object verbally and physically to the change. She didn’t want new flooring, cabinets and countertops in the kitchen! Although I tried to assure her that she would come to like the new things, she didn’t believe me. With demo day in full swing I noticed her outside touching, smelling and crying over the old cabinets while talking to her “invisible Friend” (whom she recently clarified is God). Honestly, I thought she was somewhat crazy to be grieving those worn out, paint-peeling boxes of wood.

Having been labeled autistic- as different from “normal” people, I’ve come to realize the lack of social filters in her is in fact, a blessing. What she thinks and feels and senses just comes out! There’s no thought of “am I crazy to feel like this…am I going to offend someone with my opinion?” Even though our daughter bares her own unique image of God, she also resembles a lot of her Mama! As I woke up grumbling about some of the issues I saw in the new floor and cabinets, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a verse I have been studying recently:

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

and so I began to talk, out loud to my invisible Friend, telling Him my worries and frustrations and feelings of grief.IMG_5013

Grief?

Yes. Grief.

Grief over the former things….in our kitchen and in my life.

Then as my mind flashed back to our daughter saying good-bye to our old kitchen, I whispered, “Father, I am grateful that You are the same yesterday, today and forever. Thank you for continuing to do new things in my life, my marriage and my children. Help me to deal with and not dwell on the past so that I can perceive what is springing up in Your Kingdom right NOW. Teach me to trust that You are making streams in the wasteland of my soul. Amen”

Restored Marriage

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Hosea 6:1-7

“Come, let us return to the Lord.
 He has torn us to pieces;
 now he will heal us.
 He has injured us;
 now he will bandage our wounds.

2 In just a short time he will restore us,
 so that we may live in his presence.

3 Oh, that we might know the Lord!
 Let us press on to know him.
He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn
 or the coming of rains in early spring.”

4“O Israel[a] and Judah,
 what should I do with you?” asks the Lord.
“For your love vanishes like the morning mist
 and disappears like dew in the sunlight.

5 I sent my prophets to cut you to pieces—
 to slaughter you with my words,
 with judgments as inescapable as light.

6 I want you to show love,[b]
  not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me[c]
 more than I want burnt offerings.

7 But like Adam,[d] you broke my covenant
 and betrayed my trust.

When we purchased our fixer upper colonial style house in 2006 we were excited to have a much larger eat in kitchen than our previous home. But, to be honest, we really, really, really didn’t like the country style cabinets, worn out appliances, broken countertop or faux stone vinyl flooring. However, due to a limited budget, we were only able to replace and update a few items on our “to do” list before we moved in. In the 8 years since, we completed several more cosmetic changes until we recently decided it was time to tear the room to pieces and remodel.

IMG_5006Last week we stripped the popcorn off the ceiling (NOT a fun job…I highly don’t recommend it!) and hired a contractor to rip out the cabinets, patch sheet rock and lay ceramic tile flooring. In a short time, cabinets and countertops will be installed, and the room will be restored. Not only will it be a functional working place to prepare meals, but a beautiful space to gather with family and friends around the table.

When our marriage hit its breaking point in 2001, Doug and I scrambled to make a few cosmetic changes to our relationship. But, it didn’t take long for us to discover that God, in His loving kindness, intended to cut our pride and disobedience to pieces. To be honest, we really, really, really didn’t like the entire process. Yet, Our Father, in His infinite wisdom, knew that in our hearts, we were merely offering sacrifices and burnt offerings… and not loving Him and knowing Him the way that He desires.

The restoration of our marriage seemed to take longer than “a short time,” but, when we look back over those years of being torn and injured, we realize in view of eternity, His promises came rather quickly. Not only has our relationship been restored, we function much better than we used to and our love for one another has become more beautiful than the day we said “I do.”

Broken marriages take time to be healed, but time alone heals nothing. Returning to the Lord in humility with a heart of repentance and allowing Him to bandage your wounds does. And once you have been restored to your first love, you can live in His presence and truly know Him. Only then will you be able to be restored to your second love…. and the two of you become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother, and will be joined to his wife. And they will become one flesh.

Everything that is Hidden

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Mark 4:21-25

21 Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. 22 For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. 23 Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

24 Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given[a]—and you will receive even more. 25 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”

For the past few weeks our house has been a complete WRECK, and for some of those days, so have I!

Foundational repairs and a kitchen, half bath and laundry room remodel is enough to make anyone insane, but add extended work hours for my husband, rearranging half the house, home-school and extra-curricular activities to the mix, and well….you get the idea!

On the days I’ve felt peaceful amidst the chaos I’ve thanked the Lord for helping me through the destruction- I mean, construction. And on the days I’ve felt like my life and my house was literally falling apart, the Holy Spirit reminded me that He has something more to teach me.

IMG_4979When our contractor ripped the 30-year-old kitchen cabinets off the walls this week, we discovered a patch of ugly, flowery, 1980’s wallpaper that was hidden behind the microwave and range. This morning, after I told the Lord how frustrated I have been with my husband this week, I paid close attention to His response: my husband wasn’t to blame.

What the WHAT?!

It was a basket. A basket that had been blocking a portion of His light for 30 years! A basket that was hidden behind my pride.

Grateful for the ears to hear and the heart to understand, I thanked God for illuminating yet another area of my soul that was not yet submitted to Him.

Light.

Repentance.

Basket destroyed.

Oneness with my husband restored.

What’s hidden behind the cabinets in your marriage? Ask the Lord to shine His light into every secret place. Then, strip that hideous wallpaper down! I promise you, your spouse will appreciate the remodel.