Completely Trustworthy

Psalm 119:137-144

137 O Lord, you are righteous,
 and your regulations are fair.

138 Your laws are perfect
 and completely trustworthy.

139 I am overwhelmed with indignation,
 for my enemies have disregarded your words.

140 Your promises have been thoroughly tested;
    that is why I love them so much.

141 I am insignificant and despised,
 but I don’t forget your commandments.

142 Your justice is eternal,
 and your instructions are perfectly true.

143 As pressure and stress bear down on me,
 I find joy in your commands.

144 Your laws are always right;
 help me to understand them so I may live.

As we approach the 5th week of our kitchen renovation, the pressure and stress of completing the project continues to bear down on me. As a result, I continue to desperately need the Holy Spirit to help me with my anger!

IMG_5124Living in a home with no stove to cook healthy meals for our family of 6 has been inconvenient. Washing dishes in the master bathroom sink has been annoying. Cleaning up construction debris left by others has been a nuisance. Yet, despite all the rearranging of our every day life the thing that has affected me the most are the promises that have been delivered and subsequently broken….over and over and over again.

Construction projects are notorious for running behind schedule. It’s completely understandable that plans don’t always go the way we anticipate on the job site. The Lord has given me bucket loads of grace to make concessions for ideas that didn’t work and a great deal of patience in waiting to get our kitchen- and entire house back in order! Yet, almost daily I’ve had to continually deal with the anger that has risen up in my soul towards the vendors & craftsmen who have proven to be completely untrustworthy.

Anger is an emotion given to us by God. There’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. And there’s nothing sacrilegious about expressing why we feel upset to our Heavenly Father. Where it crosses the line into sin is when we scream, cuss, rant, rave, call others every name in the book, throw things or pitch a huge hissy fit.

Ephesians 4:26

26 Be angry, and yet do not sin…

Sadly, I’ve been guilty of all of the above. I’ve been that “b” word, that OCD control freak, that vengeful woman named Jezebel whose story is told in 1 Kings. But miraculously, none of my former alter egos have shown their ugly face during this remodel project. Praise the Lord! For God has been helping me submit my feelings to Him and express my emotions in a healthy and productive way.

Let’s be honest: men and women are not always trustworthy. I sure haven’t been. Still, that doesn’t mean I abandon every person who has ever disappointed me and go live alone in a cave on some private island for the rest of my life. So, what can I do?

I can:

  • Be still and know that God is always completely trustworthy. He will never break His promises to me.
  • Express my anger to God (without sinning) about others who have been untrustworthy.
  • Seek God’s perspective on whether I am to confront the person (in love) or let it go (meaning = allow God to be my avenger)
  • Seek God’s perspective on whether or not the relationship should continue.
  • Forgive the person who has failed to meet my expectations.

If you were to ask me if I ever want to live through another kitchen renovation I would probably tell you “HECK NO!” But, I don’t want to deny the Lord any opportunity He chooses to help me understand His ways amidst the moments of life when I am overwhelmed by anger. Because, through the power of His Spirit, I am finally beginning to understand that He uses all things together for my good.

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

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