Author: Jodie

Broken Egg

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Psalm 38:4 New Living Translation (NLT)

4 My guilt overwhelms me—
it is a burden too heavy to bear.

Last night, while preparing breakfast for dinner, I had another meltdown. As the bacon fumes began to rise through the air, so did my anger. I had already been snippy with our daughter over something stupid, so when I broke 4 egg yolks in a row while attempting to flip pancakes, fry eggs and grade schoolwork I LOST IT!

As broken egg shells went hurling through the room into the sink I loudly commanded “everyone out of the kitchen…I’m going to loose it. Go….NOW!” While listening to the sound of footsteps scurry out of the room, I grabbed for the spatula to turn another flapjack and quietly muddled “what’s going on, Lord?!” When He whispered His reply, I began to weep…right over the griddle…right over those broken eggs.

It wasn’t so much His answer that broke me, it was the realization that I continue to succumb to the same sin over and over and over again. Although the Lord has enabled me to take back some of the ground the enemy has stolen from me in this area, I continue to be deceived by his crafty schemes in his pursuits to rob my time.

Time.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day to get things done, but we don’t all have the same purposes to fulfill within them. So, why do I continue to do things, which are outside of what God has called me to do?

Answer: I’m spending too much time being a man pleaser, not a God pleaser.

 

As my Father whispered to me “you aren’t saying ‘no’ ” I instantly knew that the burden of always saying “yes” to others is too heavy for me to bear. My soul was a broken egg- crying out to be scooped back up into my Father’s arms and just like Humpty Dumpty, be put back together again.

So today, instead of gathering all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men I went straight to the King and asked for His forgiveness. As always, He promptly gave it…and then He restored my soul to the place in which it belongs- focused on pleasing Him.

Psalm 23 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul;

 Now, I wonder how long before He gives me the opportunity to apply this life lesson?

Answer: Probably before I crack another egg for breakfast in the morning!

Lord, Help me to always say “yes” to you. Help me to ask you before I say “yes” to anyone else. Give me the courage to say “no” when you tell me to- regardless of the consequences. May I learn to be more like your servant, Paul:

Galatians 1:10 American Standard Version (ASV)

10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? or am I striving to please men? if I were still pleasing men, I should not be a servant of Christ.

The Bread of Life

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John 6:35

35 Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

During my junior year at Methodist College (it has since become Methodist University) I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to go on a singing tour of France with my college chorus. We visited the Eiffel Tower and The Louvre, but my most memorable experience was the 7-course dinner we had with the town leaders of our sister city, St. Avold. Thirty plus members and I joined at least that many more guests in a gorgeous banquet hall for a fabulous French feast. Each course was perfectly plated, made with only the freshest ingredients and paired with, of course, an exquisite glass of French wine. Never before, or since, have I consumed such a life giving meal. Although our hosts spoke very little English and only a few of our students could understand conversational French, we found common ground through our palates and our voices as we began singing some of the worlds most beloved choral arrangements together. After 3-4 hours of eating, drinking, singing and laughing our bellies were full- and so were our hearts.

These days, when our family is swayed by one of those pesky cows to “eat more chicken,” our feast only lasts a measly 3-4 minutes! Never once have I gotten up from the table or out of the car with a full belly -and heart. In fact, an hour or so after the quick service food has broken down into nothingness I’m usually hungry again. The same phenomenon applies when I use the drive thru to pick up a little snack from God, instead of sitting down to a 7-course meal to eat and drink Him in.

When I first began following Jesus I lived off fast food experiences:

-church on Sunday

-an occasional skim through a devotional book during the week

-tune in to a Christian radio station during part of my commute home

-watch a tv evangelist once in a while

I rarely cracked open one of the many bibles that sat on my shelf, and prayer only happened when somebody else forced me. I had NO idea what Jesus meant when He said He was the bread of life. That is, until I began making the time to sit to His table, read the word, pray and worship Him for who He is. Only then did I feel full- no longer thirsty or hungry an hour later. The same discipline is still true today. When my calendar is over booked and I hit the ground running, taking only a few minutes with Him before I start my day, I usually feel the pangs of hunger rather quickly:

-a kid cops an attitude with me and I react in anger

-Doug says something that I don’t agree with and the “heated debate” is ON

-a friend or family member sends me a message and I am immediately offended by their words or emoticons

-I call my neighbor an idiot when she almost runs me over during my walk through the neighborhood

-blah, blah, blah….

However, when I take the time to engage in a 7 course meal:

-worship

-thanksgiving

-repentance

-forgiveness

-submission

-bible study

-journaling

with my Creator in the morning I always reap the nutritional benefits of the final course, just as it was served in France: wine, cheese…and fresh fruit.

Galatians 5:22-23

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.

The Lost Sheep

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Luke 15:1-7

15 Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. 2 This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them!

3 So Jesus told them this story: 4 “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. 6 When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!

This parable is often used as the basis of many evangelistic outreach programs within the local church. It has also been the reasoning behind the common phrase “it’s not about you” (believers) it’s about “the lost” (unbelievers) in churches that are more, as they say, “seeker friendly.” The thing is, it’s about the 1 AND the 99 because without the 99 there would be no church and without the 1 there would be no one to GO make disciples of.

Matthew 28:19

19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,[a] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

After much study, reading “expert” opinions and discussing this parable at length with my husband, I believe that Jesus was referring to 2 types of “lost” sheep:

#1 The lost-lost

Isaiah 53:6

All of us, like sheep, have strayed away….

This lost-lost sheep is a sinner that has never been found. He/she has not been exposed to the gospel. Perhaps they’ve heard of the Christian religion and have known hypocritical followers of Jesus, but they haven’t had the opportunity to see one of the 99 who has been radically changed after an encounter with the Great Shepherd. This lost sheep needs to feel love- not judgment (as the Pharisees did) from the 99. The responsibility of the 99 is to lead this 1 to the Shepherd, and once he/she has repented, teach them how to obey Him.

#2 The lost-found-lost

Psalm 119:176

I have wandered away like a lost sheep;
come and find me,
for I have not forgotten your commands.

This lost-found-lost sheep is a sinner who was once a member of the 100. But, unfortunately has followed the voice of the enemy and strayed away from the flock. These are the  “back sliders” or the religious (those that do all the right things/obey the law, but have no relationship with the Great Shepherd). The responsibility of the 99 is to lead this 1 back to the Shepherd (by encouraging or rebuking, depending on the circumstance and how the Holy Spirit leads), and once they’ve repented, teach them how to obey Him, again.

The truth is, we are all the 1. All of us need the Great Shepherd to search for us and joyfully carry us home on His shoulders…..and whether we are part of the flock that are designed to disciple the lost-lost or the lost-found-lost we all should rejoice when He brings another 1 home!

The Rich Fool

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Luke 12:13-21

13 Then someone called from the crowd, “Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father’s estate with me.”

14 Jesus replied, “Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?” 15 Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”

16 Then he told them a story: “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. 17 He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ 18 Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. 19 And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’

20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’

21 “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

I’ve heard many a story about families being divided over a relative’s possessions after (sometimes even before) they’ve died. Even when the deceased has given specific instructions in their will, the remaining descendants can feel entitled and their greed can drive them into a bitter court battle over who should get what. The ridiculous thing is, those who inherit will one-day die as well, then who will get everything they fought so hard for?

Jesus told several parables about wealth:

The Rich Fool

The Great Feast

The Shrew Manager

Why was it so important for Him to re-emphasize these life lessons over and over again?

1 Timothy 6:10

10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

Jesus knew that great wealth could be used by the enemy to quickly turn our hearts from grateful to greedy. He also knew that at the bottom of every root of greed is a spirit of PRIDE. Pride is what keeps us from having a right relationship with Him- and a right relationship towards money. As we strive to make more cash, buy more stuff and inherit more family heirlooms we are trying to ensure that WE are always provided for…therefore, WE don’t need to depend on God. As WE continue to produce fine crops and tear down our barns to build bigger ones (aka: houses, garages, attics, sheds, storage units…) WE are storing up earthly treasures at the expense of bankrupting our relationship with the One who provides everything for us.

I have lived at various levels of greed all my life. When I was a child I thought dollar bills grew on trees and credit cards equaled FREE money. I would stomp my feet (sometimes literally) when told “no” after asking my parents to buy me something. As a teenager, when moving from CA to NC I was ticked that my mom didn’t choose the biggest house in the ritziest neighborhood. I resented that I had to earn scholarships for college and take a work-study job to have money to spend. When I got married and was slapped with the real world; taxes, insurance, bills….I just opened up another credit card so I could get whatever my little greedy heart desired.

That is, until God began uprooting my greed…..

He was merciful, and did it over a period of years. First it was tithing, then it was getting out of debt, and then it was giving to others. By the time my husband lost his job- and our sole means of income went with it- I had begun to understand that true riches aren’t based in my possessions, but in the most important relationship I will ever encounter on this earth- or for eternity.

Father,

Thank you for the revelation that YOU are my provider. Not only do you supply me with everything I need to be sustained every day- you pour out your Spirit on me, giving life to my spirit and my soul. Thank you, Lord for continuing to uproot the lies in my life and helping me to seek an eternal inheritance instead of an earthly one. You alone deserve all the glory and praise for filling my life with riches far greater than I could ever strive for.

Amen

Dream Killer

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Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
 but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.

While staying in hotels when traveling for business last year, Doug began noticing items, which he thought would be a great asset to our home. One in particular was the outdoor sofa and chairs that awaited guests after a long days work or travel. Frequently, he would plop down on one, kick up his feet and face time me at the end of the day, showing me the courtyard and all the amenities that created an oasis in the middle of the dormitory of rooms. Around the same time, Doug began recalling one of his landscape dreams; adding a patio off our existing deck in order to make our backyard more comfortable for our family and friends. As he day dreamed….talking about his vision, I listened & occasionally give my 2 cents worth (but in the back of my mind, I thought it probably would never happen…..).

When Doug’s birthday rolled around, God proved me wrong by providing brick pavers at half price through a friend who wanted to get rid of their patio! Another friend helped me and our girls load those heavy suckers onto his trailer and hide them until the day of the surprise. After Doug’s shock and awe we began the planning phase of the dream, but the first, second….fifth drafts didn’t quite work for the topography of our yard. Finally, though, with some new vision and creativity, we completed the project…5 months later than expected. Then came phase 2; furniture. Doug day dreamed about a sofa and chairs… and I listened, giving my 3 cents worth this time (but again, in the back of my mind, I thought it probably would never happen…..) so I suggested that since we had 6 people in our family, and only table seating for 4 we should use our existing chairs and build a table to accommodate 8. Plus, I cautioned him…we had already gone over budget on building his patio- so we shouldn’t spend any more money than was absolutely necessary. He agreed- and a month later the project was finally done (at least, I thought it was…).

About a month ago I noticed Doug bringing our broken Adirondack chairs from the front to the back yard to sit in the evenings. Why? When we had seating for 8 around the patio table and seating for 4 more on the deck?!? “Well,” he said, “they just aren’t comfortable.” I agreed- but didn’t think much more about it. Until last weekend……

We were chatting during lunch (at our kitchen table that seats 10- can you tell that I have a thing for tables?!?) when my mind began racing through all the times I would see Doug melt into the cushy furniture at the hotels he stayed in, looking contented and relaxed, or how he would gush over the outdoor furniture section every time we walked into home improvement stores. Then it hit me like a ton of brick pavers: I had killed his dream!!!

Uggg.

Immediately, I looked across the table at my husband and said something that is completely out of character for me: “let’s go to Lowes!”

“Huh?!?” he muttered.

“I killed your dream- I’m so sorry.” I was just trying to be practical…but I totally ignored what you wanted. I’m soooo sorry. Let’s go to Lowe’s and look at their outdoor sofa and chairs!”

If you could have seen my husbands face you would have looked upon a 4 year old little boy on Christmas morning who got that Red Ryder Bb gun he’d hoped for.

Unfortunately, when we got to Lowe’s, the options were scarce, since it was the end of the summer season. Sadly, I watched as Doug’s exuberance turned to disappointment. “Well,” he said “we’ll just have to keep looking…..” But for some reason, I felt compelled to go down the aisles one more time. Wouldn’t ya know it…there, hidden right in front of me was a box I hadn’t seen before. When Doug flagged an employee down to check the inventory we discovered they had one full set left; a love seat, coffee table, and 2 chairs- with cushions and throw pillows INCLUDED! It was also not a coincidence that it was less expensive than the floor models, we liked the design more than the ones on display, AND it fit our current backyard project budget!

After Doug finished assembling the furniture we placed them on the back deck and plopped down. For the next few hours we sat contented and relaxed as we talked about the lesson we’d learned: we had not honestly communicated all of our expectations to each other. After our “aha” moments & apologies, I realized that even though I had totally screwed up and killed Doug’s dream, God still knew it-  and in His perfect timing, He supplied the space, the money & the exact furniture to fulfill it…..and He included table seating for 8 too!

Our God is so good.

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God…

“(Dream killers) look you in the eye and offer a dozen reasons why your dreams won’t work. In fact, the more they talk, the more you begin to hear your own voice echo their thoughts.

Truth is, wherever you find dreamers, you find dream killers. The church is filled with them. They grew up with you, live in your house, and sometimes they….are you. Maybe you’re a victim of a dream killer and regret having listened to them.

At the same time, I realize the life-giving power of dream fanners. They refresh you, and you feel drawn to them like moths to a flame.”

 

Dream Big, but BEWARE of DREAM KILLERS

-Todd Wilson

 

Childlike Faith

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Psalm 116

1 I love the Lord because he hears my voice
 and my prayer for mercy.

2 Because he bends down to listen, 
I will pray as long as I have breath!

3 Death wrapped its ropes around me; 
the terrors of the grave [a] overtook me. 
    I saw only trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the Lord: 
    “Please, Lord, save me!”

5 How kind the Lord is! How good he is! 
    So merciful, this God of ours!

6 The Lord protects those of childlike faith; 
    I was facing death, and he saved me.

7 Let my soul be at rest again,
    for the Lord has been good to me

When I was a little girl, I had a totally radical (yes- I grew up in the 80’s) banana seat bike with an am/fm radio and built in horn. Growing up in the concrete jungle of Southern California I had the option of riding that bike on the asphalt street or on the sidewalk in our neighborhood. I jumped ramps with the boys and raced down the street from the cul-de-sac to my house over and over again, almost daily. But, one of my favorite things to do was start at the top of the hill, pedaling as hard as my feet could go until I skid around the hairpin curve at the bottom of the hill, towards the end of the sidewalk. The thrill was heightened by the fact that there was a fire hydrant in the middle of that curve. If I had miss-calculated my turning radius and veered slightly to the left, I would have crashed and burned- badly. Time and time again, my parents cringed and our neighbors would gasp as they watched me round that corner at full speed. Despite their concerns, however, I never hit it!

This morning during my walk through our neighborhood, I nervously watched our son pedal his bike as fast as his little feet could go, then stretch his legs out so he could soar down the big hill. I cringed thinking about the possibility of him crashing and burning on that asphalt. But then.…I heard a still small voice whisper “do you trust me?” Realizing that our son belongs to the Lord, and he is only on loan to me to train and teach for a little while, I let go of my handlebar of control and said “yes-go ahead” when he asked me “mom- can’t I do it again!!!???”

As I continued my stroll towards home I began to think about the years in between my banana seat bike and today. Where had my adventurous spirit gone? Why do I worry about getting hurt, or someone I love getting hurt? Why don’t I trust God all the time…all the way?

Fear.

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity…..

Fear is the polar opposite of faith. It is one of the major weapons in the arsenal of the enemy that he uses to steal, kill and destroy. All it takes is a few whispers in our ear and a couple of bad things to happen to us to cause us to doubt the goodness of God and no longer trust Him to protect us.

Because, the fact of the matter is, bad things DO happen:

-Innocent bystanders are murdered at the hands of a tyrant.

-Husbands become addicted to porn

-People get laid off and can’t find another job to support their family.

-Children die after a long battle with cancer.

-Natural disasters destroy people’s homes and all their possessions.

-Wives have emotional affairs.

-People are injured in horrific accidents.

-Children are physically, emotionally and sexually abused by family members.

The list goes on and on….

The thing is, when we look at the facts, instead of looking to the truth, we attempt to figure out why these things happen on our own. When we can’t make sense of it, we begin doubting that God is good. We begin to believe that God is not in control or that He doesn’t love us. We begin to judge what we think is fair or unfair, right or wrong, just or unjust. As a result, we begin to try to control the handlebars and manipulate the circumstances around us, so that nothing else bad can happen.

So how do we eradicate the fear that is stealing, killing and destroying our lives?

1) We search the scriptures for truth.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

2) We pray as long as we have breath, asking Him to please save us! (Lord, why did you let this bad thing happen? Where were you while it was going on? How do you want to use this for my good?)

Only then can we truly know the truth, break free from the bondage of fear and be able to let go of the pedals— and the handlebars, and enjoy the ride.

Holes

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Matthew 25:14-30

14 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. 15 He gave five bags of silver[a] to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip.

16 “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. 17 The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. 18 But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.

19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. 20 The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’

21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together![b]’

22 “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’

23 “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

24 “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. 25 I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’

26 “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, 27 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’

28 “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. 29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 30 Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

During the first decade of our marriage, we dug holes and hid our Masters money. Although Doug and I had been taught about tithing and good stewardship from our parents, we didn’t heed their wisdom. Like millions of Americans, we lived paycheck to paycheck and paid only the minimum balance on our credit cards, car payments & mortgage. We had no budget and no boundaries. If we wanted it, we bought it. Every year, when the tax return came in, we’d pay down our debt- then reward ourselves by buying something else! We lived in bondage to our lenders for far to long…

Proverbs 22:7

Just as the rich rule the poor,
so the borrower is servant to the lender.

It wasn’t until Doug felt convicted to give to the church that the Lord began to change our hearts about money (notice, I said “give”- we didn’t believe we could actually afford to tithe, so we dropped $50 or $100 bucks in the plate each month for a few years until we gradually increased to 10% of our net income). Shortly after we began tithing regularly, God convicted us again to give Him 10% of our gross income. After fighting it for a while, we finally realized that the IRS and the State of North Carolina was just another bill we owed, after God received what was due Him. The next thing the Holy Spirit convicted us about (are you seeing a trend here?!?) was our poor stewardship of the remaining 90%. So, we created a plan to retrieve the money out of the holes we’d dug and pay back those lenders! Once Doug set his mind to do this, applying it was not too difficult for him. I, on the other hand really had to wrestle between needs & wants. Countless times I can remember going shopping and filling my cart with items that weren’t necessities…and on the way to check out, I would get a pang in my gutt, stop abruptly, turn around, and return all of the items back to their shelves. This went on for years- but eventually, the demons of greed & debt got frustrated and left!

When I was wiling to submit to God’s purposes for our finances and Doug’s plan for tithing, saving, investing and spending I no longer saw my Master as being harsh. Instead, I began to see His true heart towards me and how He wanted to throw open the windows of heaven and bless me and our family! 7 years later, we now have only 1 hole remaining; our mortgage, and a plan is in place to pay that lender back as soon as possible.

By following His guidelines about money we have miraculously been able to tithe, save, invest and give generously to others. Without being workaholics or striving to constantly make more money, HE has provided our every need and blessed us (spiritually, emotionally & financially) abundantly with many of our wants.

As He continues to entrust His money to us, I pray that we will continue to use it wisely and continue to hear Him say:

‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’