Deck the Halls

December 18, 2012October 21, 2014 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Ephesians 4:17-23 New Living Translation (NLT)

Living as Children of Light

17 With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

My thoughts & attitudes reflects the condition of my heart. And the Lord has been testing it- again.

Proverbs 17:3 New Living Translation (NLT)

3 Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart.

We have just entered into our 3^rd month of our 2^nd season of unemployment. I’ve often wondered out loud to my husband why are we having to endure this faith building exercise- again?!? During the 1^st season we finally understood what it means to believe & trust God as our provider. We were grateful that when the lay off hit, we had no debt and there was money in the bank to pay the bills for almost a year. We were humbled and thankful for others He sent who provided meals, groceries & cash which stretched our resources and continued to sustain our family. We stood in awe of the divine health He’d given us for the entire time, as we didn’t have the extra $ or insurance to pay for medical care. We continued to thank Him for His provision when a contract position was handed to Doug the month all the $ ran out. We felt overwhelmed with all of the blessings He continued to shower on us during the next 11 months Doug was employed:

-$ to re-fill the savings account

-resources to fix several of the “to do’s” around the house

-rewards dollars to take that dream family vacation we wanted to take in 2010

-extra reward dollars for Doug & I to take a vacation alone- to a private island (again, another “dream” vacation!)

-home-school field trips

-more divine health

-new ministry opportunities

The list goes on and on……yet in the midst of this 2^nd turn of unemployment I’ve been unexplainably angry. Angry at Doug. Angry at the kids. ANGRY!!! And instead of asking God “why am I so angry?” I’ve avoided Him….because clearly, I can handle this by MYSELF!!! Plus, it’s the holidays and I have WAY too much to do- I don’t have time to deal with how I feel. After all, He is a loving God, He understands…so why shouldn’t He give me a break on the whole read my bible, journal, pray thing that I need to do everyday??? He knows that if I take the time it takes to do all that I won’t have time to get all the holiday shopping & planning done so that everyone can have a Merry Stinkin’ Christmas!!!! Of course, in the midst of all this fa la la la la-ing I’ve also been angry about having to celebrate Christmas this year- even though I have less to do than in previous years (only exchanging gifts for the kids in the family, no Christmas cards, less holiday parties to attend…). What the heck?! Instead of decking the halls, I’ve mostly felt like decking everyone around me!!!

Then….BAM!!!…God, in His infinite wisdom & love decked me with the flu. I suppose He figured that if I couldn’t spend time with Him because I was too busy, He would clear mine and my families busy schedule (5 of the 6 of us are now sick). And….as the loving, obedient daughter I am- I ran right back to Him- 4 days after I had been laid up in the bed watching WAY to many cheesy holiday movies on Netflix……and what He told me…well, kinda made me….angry…and then convicted.

The reason for this 2^nd round of unemployment isn’t because He’s still trying to teach me that He is my provider and that He wants to bless me because I am His child- that truth is beginning to take deep root in my heart….no- this time He’s working on a thing that goes way down deep in my heart that needs to be yanked out- at the root- by the Spirit. You may have heard of it: pride. Instead of writing a laundry list of all the ways I have failed to live by the Spirit in this area- I will just sum it up by saying that when God decks you in this area, it hurts (because, if we are really honest with ourselves…and God…we all think pretty highly of ourselves, don’t we?). Fortunately, I know that God disciplines those He loves and without that discipline, I can’t walk out the calling He has placed on my life with JOY! Oh, I can try to do all these things- in fact, I can perform most of these tasks with ease, but I will be grumbling all the while as my anger continues to bubble and stew leading to an eventual explosion of bitterness.

So, today, I choose JOY over anger as a result of my pride and I ask the Savior of the world to forgive me for believing that my strength lies in my superb abilities instead of in my weakness- as I surrender my heart to Him….and then every day after this, I will ask Him to fill me and renew my thoughts and attitudes!

Now how about some Christmas music?

Deck the Halls, anyone?!?!

I’ve got to have faith

November 5, 2012October 21, 2014 / Jodie / Leave a comment

“Because I’ve got to have faith

I’ve got to have faith

Because I’ve got to have faith

Faith

I’ve got to have faith

Faith

Faith”

George Michael, “Faith”

I’m fairly certain that George wasn’t singing about faith in the One true God back in 1987. Decades later, I still hear the word “faith” thrown around rather carelessly…as if its something that all of us can just conjure up any time we want.

Faith- what exactly is it? How does it work? Is it the same thing as believing in God?

Over the past dozen years or so, God has given me multiple opportunities to build, as my husband says, “my faith muscle.” But it’s only been in recent years that I’ve really understood what it means to have faith in God.

Faith comes from Our Creator (as does everything else we are given). Without it, Hebrews 11:6 says “it is impossible to please God.” However, the later part of that verse tells us what we must do FIRST: “believe that God exists.” To believe, according to the dictionary, is to “accept something or someone as true.” When the Holy Spirit breathes on us- we believe in Jesus & confess our sins, in order that we may be saved. It is during this same exchange that our faith is activated- but what we do, or don’t do with it makes all the difference in our lives. Conversely, faith is defined as “complete confidence in someone or something.” You see, we can BELIEVE God exists- & even be saved from spending eternity in hell….but yet never completely have confidence in, or trust Him. There are multiple reasons why that occurs; growing up with parents who, unfortunately didn’t model godly parenting or being hurt/traumatized by people in authority over us….the ways of deception from the enemy are numerous.

What then are we to do?

In order to live a life of faith in God, we must connect to God. And He is so generous that He gives us the “how to” before He gives us what He requires us “to do!”

Hebrews 11, otherwise known as the “Hall of Faith” chapter, gives example after example of ordinary people who did extraordinary things, through their faith in God.

It was by faith:

Noah built a boat

Abraham left his home

Sarah had a child

Moses’ parents hid him

The Israelites marched through the Red Sea

Rahab (the prostitute) was not destroyed

All these people had one very important factor in common: they heard from God. In order to have faith, we must hear from God, believe what He promises & obey what He commands.

Simple. Yet complicated.

Whenever Doug & I are given the opportunity to share our testimony, we usually tell about God’s promise that He spoke to both of us at the lowest part of our marriage. At a moment when Doug was afraid that he had lost it all…his wife, children, job….God promised that He would take his horrible situation (brought upon by his own sin) & use it for good….and that together, Doug & I would help other couples hear from God, by sharing our story. At the same time, as I was contemplating leaving my husband and facing life alone as a single mom, God used my mother to speak the same promise to me; “Jodie, I know you can’t see it now…but God is going to use this for good….”

We had heard from God. He had given us a promise. Simple. Then came the complicated part; obeying Him.

It started with me returning home to my husband (after God had told me divorce was not an option). Then…

-marriage counseling

-LOTS and LOTS of repentance and forgiveness towards God & each other

-being accountable to others by getting involved in a local church

-being willing to share our private, sometimes embarrassing & shameful story over and over again with other couples

-hosting couples/families that stayed in our home

-leading small groups

-mentoring couples who were in the midst of painful circumstances

-planning, paying for and hosting a marriage conference

-starting a non-profit ministry

All of these steps of obedience built our faith muscle. And after each step, we continued to see how God was answering and confirming His promise!

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen…” (Hebrews 11:1)

If we want to live extraordinary lives, we’ve gotta have faith. Not in ourselves, or what we hope for-but in God and what HE hopes for, for us. For “he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6)

It’s a Wonderful Life?

October 31, 2012October 21, 2014 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Who doesn’t love the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”? This great classic is a feel good story about George Bailey who, although taking it for granted, has a blessed life full of provisions including family, friends and finances. I think my personal attraction to the movie is that sometimes I see myself in George with life’s realities, struggles and trials. I love at the end where he realizes that his life really does matter and he in fact does have a wonderful life.

Conversely, my least favorite portion of the movie is the whole middle section,….you know from precisely where Mr. Potter enters the story, until when Clarence saves George by jumping into the river.

The truth is, if you’re like me, many times you want to skip over the middle, difficult and unimportant portions, of your seemingly meaningless life and bring on the fantastic Hollywood-ending moments. I’d like to delete or fast-forward past those instances that wear me down, drive me crazy, test my faith, or make me say “why me Lord?” I would prefer to bypass the realities of this current season like the uncertainty of job and ministry futures and the weight of responsibility as husband and father to provide for my family. Throw into the mix those distractions like a house that needs repair, or the yard that requires upkeep or even the constant maintenance of vehicles and my blood starts boiling or worse I shut completely down.

Before long even the bride of my dreams and the children I cherish begin to get under my skin. I have found myself mouthing words similar to George’s “ You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?”

The reality is…. God knows me and He knows you. He knows our struggles, our troubles and has the answer.

James 1 tells us that when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Troubles will come. It’s not a matter of “IF”, but WHEN. And what should be our response?

When my circumstances take a southward turn and realities of this current season hits me square in the mouth, I choose to pray, be thankful for my many provisions and have joy believing that God is working in me for perfection.

So let’s not skip over the tough, and trying movie clips in our lives that shape our character,

Because after all, …..it really is a Wonderful Life.

-W. Doug Bullard, Jr.

Sibling Rivalry

October 19, 2012October 21, 2014 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Genesis 30:8 New Living Translation (NLT)

8 Rachel named him Naphtali,[a] for she said, “I have struggled hard with my sister, and I’m winning!”

Since the first rivalry between Cain & Abel, there has been a constant struggle between siblings to “win.” Why? I suppose it comes from that place deep down inside us that believes we are God’s favorite, and therefore we think we should hold the same standing with our earthly father & mother. And so….we strive to maintain that position.

Every child that is born into a family with other children must learn how to deal with conflict. I’m convinced, that God, in His infinite wisdom gives us this safe training ground in order that we may work out our selfishness & judgments against others so that we may run the race that He has set for us. Therefore, we have 2 options; fight like heck to “win” or train to run our own race, while simultaneously cheering our siblings on in theirs.

Rachel chose to become jealous & manipulate God in order to win the baby making race with her sister. From the beginning of her & Leah’s marriage to Jacob, the fight was ON! (sister wives is never a good option, right?!). But, I’m certain that their rivalry began much earlier, when they were just little girls watching their father’s sheep. How sad that they spent so much energy competing with one another & forcing others to choose sides (their maids, who were made to enter the baby making race as well).

I grew up with only 1 sister, who was (& still is!) almost 6 years older. Honestly, I hated her guts until she got married and moved to Germany. Even though our mother did everything humanly possible to keep things “fair” between us (seriously-same # of gifts and dollar amount for Christmas & birthday gifts….we had to be the same exact age to wear make-up, get our ears pierced, date, etc….) it still didn’t remove my desire to want to win and point out all the unfairness that I had to endure as the younger sibling (she got to choose her dress for prom- I had to wear her hand-me-downs, she got to finish high school in CA, I had to move to NC, she got to choose the car she wanted when she was 16, I had to get her old one…..blah, blah, blah…). Thankfully, as I matured (eh-hem…) I was able to see that my mother was just trying to make us both feel equally loved & my sister couldn’t help that she was born first! (btw: I appreciate all the hand-me-downs I can get, now!)

Just as God knew us before He created us in our mothers womb, He chose our parents (biological & adopted) & our siblings to mold and shape us into who we were destined to be. Our relationships with our siblings can either become a competition full of judgment & bitterness, or they can be a marvelous example of the body of Christ; people with different gifts & talents that are running to win the race- together!

Statistically, the relationship with our siblings is the longest ones we’ll have in this life. Life is too short and the race too tiring to waste all our energy competing with our siblings. In order to break free from the bondage of rivalry & run in the lane designed for us we must know the plans God has for us and we must choose to forgive our siblings for however they’ve offended us. We must also release them from the judgments we’ve made about them….because, when we do, we will have a long time runner beside us cheering us on…and that, sometimes, can make all the difference in how we finish.

Train up a child…about sex

October 15, 2012October 21, 2014 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Proverbs 22:6 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Train up a child in the way he should go,  Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

1 Corinthians 6:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

I’m sure you’re thinking: what in the world do these 2 verses have in common? At first glance, nothing. Proverbs was written by Solomon to the people of Israel, in order that they may attain wisdom & discipline to obey God. 1 Corinthians was written by Paul to the church in Corinth to show believers how to live for Christ, despite living in a sin filled world. Knowing that, it is imperative that we merge both verses together in our hearts, so that we can train our children how to run from sexual sin.

If you’ve ever heard mine and Doug’s story, you know that, unfortunately, purity wasn’t part of our marriage covenant, nor did we run from sexual sin after we said “I do.” In fact, it almost destroyed our marriage. After we both began the journey of repentance, forgiveness & healing, God began to birth a strong desire in us to be completely transparent with others and especially our children about our struggles & failures with sexual sin. We believe that talking about God’s design for sex & how the enemy constantly wants to steal, kill & destroy it, we can better equip our children to make the wise choice of saving themselves for marriage. From a very early age, we began teaching our children about their bodies (by using anatomically correct terms) & how God made them to fit together perfectly with their future spouse. We also had many opportunities to discuss where babies come from with our older 2 girls, because we had 2 more children after them! The older our kids became, however, the more we saw a need for planned teachable moments, so I began to search for Christian books about sex. I not only wanted a book to contain scripture about God’s beautiful design for sex within marriage, but I also wanted the facts & consequences of those that choose otherwise. My sister suggested the “God’s Design for Sex” series:

www.amazon.com/The-Story-Gods-Design-Book/dp/1600060137

As we’ve read & shared with others about the conversations we’ve had with our children, we’ve heard many comments like:

“I can’t BELIEVE you talked about THAT with your kids.”

“I could NEVER tell my kids the truth about THAT!”

“I can’t even talk to my SPOUSE about sex…how in the heck can I talk to my kids about it!?”

These statements have revealed a disturbing trend among believers: Shame over past sexual sins is keeping husbands & wives in bondage. And, as a result, their children are left unprotected from the enemy’s plans to steal, kill & destroy their purity.

The only way to stop this epidemic is for couples to begin the journey of repentance of sexual sin, forgiveness & healing through Jesus Christ. Only then, can they begin to train their children in the way that they should go…

Not sure how to being the journey? Seek a godly mentor and ask them for help.

Children, RUN from sexual sin!

October 15, 2012 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Proverbs 22:6 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Train up a child in the way he should go,  Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

1 Corinthians 6:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

www.amazon.com/The-Story-Gods-Design-Book/dp/1600060137

As we’ve read & shared with others about the conversations we’ve had with our children, we’ve heard many comments like:

“I can’t BELIEVE you talked about THAT with your kids.”

“I could NEVER tell my kids the truth about THAT!”

“I can’t even talk to my SPOUSE about sex…how in the heck can I talk to my kids about it!?”

Not sure how to being the journey? Seek a spiritual mother or father and ask them for help.

Love myself?

September 27, 2012October 21, 2014 / Jodie / Leave a comment

Matthew 22:37-40 New Life Version (NLV)

37 Jesus said to him, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest of the Laws. 39 The second is like it, ‘You must love your neighbor as you love yourself.’

Ever since my salvation, I have struggled to live this passage out. It seems as if during each season of life, I am constantly re-assessing and discovering that I’ve had these principals out of order. When I truly live out the first, everything else seems to fit into order- naturally. However, since becoming a stay-at-home wife, mom and then homeschool mom, I have found myself too many times being overwhelmed and frustrated because I have inadvertently, or sometimes intentionally put the ‘love your neighbor’ part first.

Not only is this disorder evident among many mom’s I know, it is also glaringly apparent in the church. After someone is saved, they are encouraged to perhaps join a small group or Sunday school class to be disciples, but more often then note, they are more strongly encouraged (or guilted into) joining a ministry team or serving on Sunday morning. Believe me, I understand the importance of serving God & advancing His Kingdom by serving others, but unfortunately, this disorder or priorities often pushes people to become works driven instead of serving out of an overflow of their love for God, themselves and their neighbors.

I have always read & understood the order of the above passage, as it is written; God, others, me. But the more I continue to have meltdowns and complain about no alone time, other people demanding time from me and rarely doing things for myself, the more the Holy Spirit is revealing his truth to me. Its not that I am a self centered, lazy woman who only wants her own way (this is what the enemy whispers every time I try to explain through sobs to my husband, why I feel overwhelmed-again!) its that I am living out of order….& thus, chaos erupts.

1 Corinthians 14:33

God isn’t a God of disorder but of peace.

Now God has created each of us uniquely different and the way in which this order plays out in our everyday lives will look unique as well. God has brought to my attention that I am more like the little girl I once was, who enjoyed playing in her playhouse-by HERSELF for hours at a time, other than the young adult I was who thrived in being the life of the party. Practically, I cannot retreat to a ‘playhouse’ (or any other house for that matter!) for hours each day because I DO have responsibility God has entrusted me with. So, I have to be strategic and disciplined with my time. I have to wake up before everyone in my family to read my bible & pray. And I have to say “no” to others sometimes in order to be mindful of how many activities emerge on my calendar. The latter has proven much more difficult for me. Its because I have put forth too much effort trying to please everyone else, fearing that they may be offended or mad at me, instead of loving God, loving myself, then loving them. Sounds self-centered huh? Its not. Its God’s design. If I had not loved myself by connecting with God daily, eating properly, exercising & getting adequate rest for 9 months when I was carrying each of our 4 children, there could have been catastrophic consequences for me- & them. If I don’t connect with God daily, eat properly, exercise & get adequate rest today, there can STILL be catastrophic consequences!

In my life, I prefer peace….and that only comes from God. So, in order to obtain it, I need to keep His order.