Children

So Little Faith

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Matthew 14:22-32 New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus Walks on Water

22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[a] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![b]”

28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[c] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.

Yesterday, while swimming at our neighborhood pool with my friend, we watched as her youngest daughter slowly & cautiously began “swimming” with her new floatie on towards my oldest daughter. Although her mother had repeatedly told her that the floatie would not allow her to sink, that she was “ok”…her crinkled eyebrows and high pitched cries made it apparent that she did NOT trust that they would keep her from drowning.

Kinda sounds like Peter…..and me.

How many times has God asked me to step out on the water? How many times has fear and doubt rushed over me like a storm? How many times have I taken my eyes off of Him and begun to sink?

More times than I’d like to admit.

My most recent storm has to do with unforgiveness towards someone. I know what God says about it. I know that forgiving doesn’t excuse the persons behavior. I know that unforgiveness keeps me in bondage to the enemy. So why do I continue to struggle with so little faith?

Pride. Fear.

I don’t want to forgive them. Right now I just want to be ANGRY!

I don’t want to go back and relive the offense in order to truly forgive and allow the Lord to heal my brokenness.

Still, I know that I know that I know that God is soveriegn, He is good, and He loves me. He will not let me drown. Therefore, I must choose to stand in the midst of the raging waters, torrential downpour and crashing thunder & submit my will to Him and ask Him to help me forgive. Only then will I be able to climb back into the boat with Him to reach the next destination He has for me.

By the end of the day, my friends 4 year old daughter was “swimming” by herself. She was so excited that she made sure everyone-and I mean everyone- watched her as she made her way from one side of the pool to the other! We all clapped and cheered for her bravery.

I’m guessing that no one is going to throw me a party when I forgive….but I know my Heavenly Father will rejoice with me when I do. So, I suppose its time to grab my floatie, head to the pool and start walking on that water!

Anyone wanna join me?!?

Distracted

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Luke 10:38-42 New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus Visits Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I’ve heard teachings about Mary & Martha quite frankly, more than I’ve wanted to over the years…and each time I’ve come away ticked off! You see, I’m a doer. Always have been.

Since childhood, I’ve organized my dresser drawers by item and color and hung my clothes by seasons in my closet. My grandparents used to snicker at my “skills” when they came to visit and stay in my bedroom. When I got married, this “skill” was appreciated at first, but it quickly became a source of great contention between Doug and I. He was, how shall I say….more of a manly version of Mary. Except, instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus, he was sitting on the sofa in front of the tv watching college sports. That’s not to say that he didn’t do anything around the apartment- he did- but he certainly didn’t care how the sock drawer was arranged or if all the clutter was picked up and put away immediately. I was perfectly content playing the role of Martha…and occasionally reminding God that my husband should come help me!!! Then, we had our first child. After the 2nd one was born 18 months later, I was still able to take care of myself, my husband (or so I thought), 2 kids & the household…but then we suffered a miscarriage, I had emergency surgery and was confined to bed rest for a time. Needless to say- not everything got done according to MY specifications. I should have been getting the hint by then, don’t ya think? Uh….no.

We then had our 3rd child and from the moment of delivery (she was the only child born without any drugs administered to me!) I knew I was in for pain and suffering. We brought our bundle of joy home from the hospital and she screamed & vomited & failed to be comforted, or sleep for more than 4 months. The next few years of her life would bring about numerous Dr. visits and a diagnosis of autism. Then, if God didn’t get my attention with all that- He gave us a 4th child!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!

When morning sickness lasts all day and you vomit until you dry heave and go to bed, there isn’t much time or energy left to make sure the sock drawers of 6 people are neatly arranged- much less prepare a meal, do the laundry, nurse a baby, care for 3 children, change diapers, grocery shop, and have sex with your husband (yes, that IS important!).

What I finally realized over the years is that Jesus didn’t love Mary more than He did Martha. His Father had created them both with unique gifts and talents- in His image. The issue wasn’t that Martha was practicing her gift of hospitality, it was that she was distracted by what she was doing instead of focusing on why she was doing it. She also neglected to put first things first; making Jesus the priority.

The bible says we are supposed to do both; sit, rest, allow Jesus to pour into us….and do the work He’s called us to do- without being distracted by less important things, or complaining about it!

When the demands of life’s “to do’s” overwhelm and cause us to be angry, or blame others, we need to stop & sit at the feet of Jesus- and if necessary, repent. For He is the only One who brings life to the full and whom all of life’s details must flow out of…..

Deck the Halls

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Ephesians 4:17-23 New Living Translation (NLT)

Living as Children of Light

17 With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

My thoughts & attitudes reflects the condition of my heart. And the Lord has been testing it- again.

Proverbs 17:3 New Living Translation (NLT)

3 Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
but the Lord tests the heart.

We have just entered into our 3rd month of our 2nd season of unemployment. I’ve often wondered out loud to my husband why are we having to endure this faith building exercise- again?!? During the 1st season we finally understood what it means to believe & trust God as  our provider. We were grateful that when the lay off hit, we had no debt and there was money in the bank to pay the bills for almost a year. We were humbled and thankful for others He sent who provided meals, groceries & cash which stretched our resources and continued to sustain our family. We stood in awe of the divine health He’d given us for the entire time, as we didn’t have the extra $ or insurance to pay for medical care. We continued to thank Him for His provision when a contract position was handed to Doug the month all the $ ran out. We felt overwhelmed with all of the blessings He continued to shower on us during the next 11 months Doug was employed:

-$ to re-fill the savings account

-resources to fix several of the “to do’s” around the house

-rewards dollars to take that dream family vacation we wanted to take in 2010

-extra reward dollars for Doug & I to take a vacation alone- to a private island (again, another “dream” vacation!)

-home-school field trips

-more divine health

-new ministry opportunities

The list goes on and on……yet in the midst of this 2nd turn of unemployment I’ve been unexplainably angry. Angry at Doug. Angry at the kids. ANGRY!!! And instead of asking God “why am I so angry?” I’ve avoided Him….because clearly, I can handle this by MYSELF!!! Plus, it’s the holidays and I have WAY too much to do- I don’t have time to deal with how I feel. After all, He is a loving God, He understands…so why shouldn’t He give me a break on the whole read my bible, journal, pray thing that I need to do everyday??? He knows that if I take the time it takes to do all that I won’t have time to get all the holiday shopping & planning done so that everyone can have a Merry Stinkin’ Christmas!!!! Of course, in the midst of all this fa la la la la-ing I’ve also been angry about having to celebrate Christmas this year- even though I have less to do than in previous years (only exchanging gifts for the kids in the family, no Christmas cards, less holiday parties to attend…). What the heck?! Instead of decking the halls, I’ve mostly felt like decking everyone around me!!!

Then….BAM!!!…God, in His infinite wisdom & love decked me with the flu. I suppose He figured that if I couldn’t spend time with Him because I was too busy, He would clear mine and my families busy schedule (5 of the 6 of us are now sick). And….as the loving, obedient daughter I am- I ran right back to Him- 4 days after I had been laid up in the bed watching WAY to many cheesy holiday movies on Netflix……and what He told me…well, kinda made me….angry…and then convicted.

The reason for this 2nd round of unemployment isn’t because He’s still trying to teach me that He is my provider and that He wants to bless me because I am His child- that truth is beginning to take deep root in my heart….no- this time He’s working on a thing that goes way down deep in my heart that needs to be yanked out- at the root- by the Spirit. You may have heard of it: pride. Instead of writing a laundry list of all the ways I have failed to live by the Spirit in this area- I will just sum it up by saying that when God decks you in this area, it hurts (because, if we are really honest with ourselves…and God…we all think pretty highly of ourselves, don’t we?). Fortunately, I know that God disciplines those He loves and without that discipline, I can’t walk out the calling He has placed on my life with JOY! Oh, I can try to do all these things- in fact, I can perform most of these tasks with ease, but I will be grumbling all the while as my anger continues to bubble and stew leading to an eventual explosion of bitterness.

So, today, I choose JOY over anger as a result of my pride and I ask the Savior of the world to forgive me for believing that my strength lies in my superb abilities instead of in my weakness- as I surrender my heart to Him….and then every day after this, I will ask Him to fill me and renew my thoughts and attitudes!

Now how about some Christmas music?

Deck the Halls, anyone?!?!

It’s a Wonderful Life?

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Who doesn’t love the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”? This great classic is a feel good story about George Bailey who, although taking it for granted, has a blessed life full of provisions including family, friends and finances. I think my personal attraction to the movie is that sometimes I see myself in George with life’s realities, struggles and trials.  I love at the end where he realizes that his life really does matter and he in fact does have a wonderful life.

Conversely, my least favorite portion of the movie is the whole middle section,….you know from precisely where Mr. Potter enters the story, until when Clarence saves George by jumping into the river.

The truth is, if you’re like me, many times you want to skip over the middle, difficult and unimportant portions, of your seemingly meaningless life and bring on the fantastic Hollywood-ending moments.  I’d like to delete or fast-forward past those instances that wear me down, drive me crazy, test my faith, or make me say “why me Lord?” I would prefer to bypass the realities of this current season like the uncertainty of job and ministry futures and the weight of responsibility as husband and father to provide for my family. Throw into the mix those distractions like a house that needs repair, or the yard that requires upkeep or even the constant maintenance of vehicles and my blood starts boiling or worse I shut completely down.

Before long even the bride of my dreams and the children I cherish begin to get under my skin.  I have found myself mouthing words similar to George’s “ You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?”

The reality is…. God knows me and He knows you.  He knows our struggles, our troubles and has the answer.

James 1 tells us that when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Troubles will come.  It’s not a matter of “IF”, but WHEN.  And what should be our response?

When my circumstances take a southward turn and realities of this current season hits me square in the mouth, I choose to pray, be thankful for my many provisions and have joy believing that God is working in me for perfection.

So let’s not skip over the tough, and trying movie clips in our lives that shape our character,

Because after all, …..it really is a Wonderful Life.

-W. Doug Bullard, Jr.

Sibling Rivalry

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Genesis 30:8 New Living Translation (NLT)

 8 Rachel named him Naphtali,[a] for she said, “I have struggled hard with my sister, and I’m winning!”

Since the first rivalry between Cain & Abel, there has been a constant struggle between siblings to “win.” Why? I suppose it comes from that place deep down inside us that believes we are God’s favorite, and therefore we think we should hold the same standing with our earthly father & mother. And so….we strive to maintain that position.

Every child that is born into a family with other children must learn how to deal with conflict. I’m convinced, that God, in His infinite wisdom gives us this safe training ground in order that we may work out our selfishness & judgments against others so that we may run the race that He has set for us. Therefore, we have 2 options; fight like heck to “win” or train to run our own race, while simultaneously cheering our siblings on in theirs.

Rachel chose to become jealous & manipulate God in order to win the baby making race with her sister. From the beginning of her & Leah’s marriage to Jacob, the fight was ON! (sister wives is never a good option, right?!). But, I’m certain that their rivalry began much earlier, when they were just little girls watching their father’s sheep. How sad that they spent so much energy competing with one another & forcing others to choose sides (their maids, who were made to enter the baby making race as well).

I grew up with only 1 sister, who was (& still is!) almost 6 years older. Honestly, I hated her guts until she got married and moved to Germany. Even though our mother did everything humanly possible to keep things “fair” between us (seriously-same # of gifts and dollar amount for Christmas & birthday gifts….we had to be the same exact age to wear make-up, get our ears pierced, date, etc….) it still didn’t remove my desire to want to win and point out all the unfairness that I had to endure as the younger sibling (she got to choose her dress for prom- I had to wear her hand-me-downs, she got to finish high school in CA, I had to move to NC, she got to choose the car she wanted when she was 16, I had to get her old one…..blah, blah, blah…). Thankfully, as I matured (eh-hem…) I was able to see that my mother was just trying to make us both feel equally loved & my sister couldn’t help that she was born first! (btw: I appreciate all the hand-me-downs I can get, now!)

Just as God knew us before He created us in our mothers womb, He chose our parents (biological & adopted) & our siblings to mold and shape us into who we were destined to be. Our relationships with our siblings can either become a competition full of judgment & bitterness, or they can be a marvelous example of the body of Christ; people with different gifts & talents that are running to win the race- together!

Statistically, the relationship with our siblings is the longest ones we’ll have in this life. Life is too short and the race too tiring to waste all our energy competing with our siblings. In order to break free from the bondage of rivalry & run in the lane designed for us we must know the plans God has for us and we must choose to forgive our siblings for however they’ve offended us. We must also release them from the judgments we’ve made about them….because, when we do, we will have a long time runner beside us cheering us on…and that, sometimes, can make all the difference in how we finish.

Train up a child…about sex

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Proverbs 22:6 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Train up a child in the way he should go,
 Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

1 Corinthians 6:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

I’m sure you’re thinking: what in the world do these 2 verses have in common? At first glance, nothing. Proverbs was written by Solomon to the people of Israel, in order that they may attain wisdom & discipline to obey God. 1 Corinthians was written by Paul to the church in Corinth to show believers how to live for Christ, despite living in a sin filled world. Knowing that, it is imperative that we merge both verses together in our hearts, so that we can train our children how to run from sexual sin.

If you’ve ever heard mine and Doug’s story, you know that, unfortunately, purity wasn’t part of our marriage covenant, nor did we run from sexual sin after we said “I do.” In fact, it almost destroyed our marriage. After we both began the journey of repentance, forgiveness & healing, God began to birth a strong desire in us to be completely transparent with others and especially our children about our struggles & failures with sexual sin. We believe that talking about God’s design for sex & how the enemy constantly wants to steal, kill & destroy it, we can better equip our children to make the wise choice of saving themselves for marriage. From a very early age, we began teaching our children about their bodies (by using anatomically correct terms) & how God made them to fit together perfectly with their future spouse. We also had many opportunities to discuss where babies come from with our older 2 girls, because we had 2 more children after them! The older our kids became, however, the more we saw a need for planned teachable moments, so I began to search for Christian books about sex. I not only wanted a book to contain scripture about God’s beautiful design for sex within marriage, but I also wanted the facts & consequences of those that choose otherwise. My sister suggested the  “God’s Design for Sex” series:

www.amazon.com/The-Story-Gods-Design-Book/dp/1600060137

As we’ve read & shared with others about the conversations we’ve had with our children, we’ve heard many comments like:

“I can’t BELIEVE you talked about THAT with your kids.”

“I could NEVER tell my kids the truth about THAT!”

“I can’t even talk to my SPOUSE about sex…how in the heck can I talk to my kids about it!?”

These statements have revealed a disturbing trend among believers: Shame over past sexual sins is keeping husbands & wives in bondage. And, as a result, their children are left unprotected from the enemy’s plans to steal, kill & destroy their purity.

The only way to stop this epidemic is for couples to begin the journey of repentance of sexual sin, forgiveness & healing through Jesus Christ. Only then, can they begin to train their children in the way that they should go…

Not sure how to being the journey? Seek a godly mentor and ask them for help.

Children, RUN from sexual sin!

/ Jodie / Leave a comment

Proverbs 22:6 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Train up a child in the way he should go,
 Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

1 Corinthians 6:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

I’m sure you’re thinking: what in the world do these 2 verses have in common? At first glance, nothing. Proverbs was written by Solomon to the people of Israel, in order that they may attain wisdom & discipline to obey God. 1 Corinthians was written by Paul to the church in Corinth to show believers how to live for Christ, despite living in a sin filled world. Knowing that, it is imperative that we merge both verses together in our hearts, so that we can train our children how to run from sexual sin.

If you’ve ever heard mine and Doug’s story, you know that, unfortunately, purity wasn’t part of our marriage covenant, nor did we run from sexual sin after we said “I do.” In fact, it almost destroyed our marriage. After we both began the journey of repentance, forgiveness & healing, God began to birth a strong desire in us to be completely transparent with others and especially our children about our struggles & failures with sexual sin. We believe that talking about God’s design for sex & how the enemy constantly wants to steal, kill & destroy it, we can better equip our children to make the wise choice of saving themselves for marriage. From a very early age, we began teaching our children about their bodies (by using anatomically correct terms) & how God made them to fit together perfectly with their future spouse. We also had many opportunities to discuss where babies come from with our older 2 girls, because we had 2 more children after them! The older our kids became, however, the more we saw a need for planned teachable moments, so I began to search for Christian books about sex. I not only wanted a book to contain scripture about God’s beautiful design for sex within marriage, but I also wanted the facts & consequences of those that choose otherwise. My sister suggested the  “God’s Design for Sex” series:

www.amazon.com/The-Story-Gods-Design-Book/dp/1600060137

As we’ve read & shared with others about the conversations we’ve had with our children, we’ve heard many comments like:

“I can’t BELIEVE you talked about THAT with your kids.”

“I could NEVER tell my kids the truth about THAT!”

“I can’t even talk to my SPOUSE about sex…how in the heck can I talk to my kids about it!?”

These statements have revealed a disturbing trend among believers: Shame over past sexual sins is keeping husbands & wives in bondage. And, as a result, their children are left unprotected from the enemy’s plans to steal, kill & destroy their purity.

The only way to stop this epidemic is for couples to begin the journey of repentance of sexual sin, forgiveness & healing through Jesus Christ. Only then, can they begin to train their children in the way that they should go…

Not sure how to being the journey? Seek a spiritual mother or father and ask them for help.