Discipline

Obey

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Ephesians 6

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

When I was a child, my parents had verse 1 of Ephesians 6 framed and hung in a place where my sister and I were FORCED to read it regularly. It infuriated me! I was what some might call; a “strong willed child” and I didn’t want to obey ANYONE- including my parents.

Earlier this week, as I erased the same verse off our school dry erase board, I chuckled as now, decades later, I am the one trying to teach our children why this Truth is so important- and why they should learn to submit to it while they are still young…..

During a recent conversation with another mommy, we discussed the same passage of scripture. As we talked about specific circumstances with our children the revelation of why came out of my mouth before my brain even had time to comprehend its impact: If we love God, we are to obey Him.

John 14:15

“If you love me, obey my commandments….”

In training our children to obey (which often times requires repeated discipline in order to help them submit), we are not only teaching them to love and respect their parents, we are showing them how to love and submit to their Heavenly Father- even when they don’t feel like it.

As an adult, when I finally repented and submitted my strong will to the Father, He lavished His unfailing love on this prodigal daughter and gave me a childlike faith to pursue Him- and obey His commands. Now, as I fight the battle of obedience with several strong willed children of my own, (thanks dad, for praying I’d have those!) I am able to enforce “the laws” of our home, and when necessary, administer discipline, in love (well, most of the time….sometimes I still lose it). For I know that God did not send the law to punish us, but to teach us how to live a long life… in FREEDOM!

Romans 7:21-25

21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

PS. Thanks Mom & Dad for continuing to sew the Word into my heart- even though it took a looooong time to take root.

Endurance

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Romans 5:1-5

5 Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

I’ve had the undeserved privilege of snorkeling in the waters off Maui, Oahu, The Bahama’s and The British Virgin Islands. My first attempt was on our honeymoon and the seas were especially rough that day. I struggled to learn how to breathe only in and out of my mouth and forcefully blow air out of the snorkel to expel water. Early into our excursion, waves began crashing over my heard and I began to panic, feeling like I was going to drown. After swallowing too much water I was forced back to the catamaran while Doug dove to the depths, petting sea turtles and snapping pictures of exotic fish.

Having snorkeled a handful of times since then, I felt confident that I would thoroughly enjoy 6 days of exploring the uncharted waters off Peter Island, but my maiden voyage was cut short. On our first full day on the island, Doug and I strapped on our flippers and facemasks and dove into the crystal clear waters of the Caribbean, swimming towards the rocky edge of White Bay. In the first few minutes I saw more fish then I had on all my other snorkeling adventures- combined! I was stoked. But then…we entered deep waters with powerful waves that continued to pull me towards the gigantic boulders on the coast. As salty water continued to pour into my snorkel, I tried and tried to remember to do as I had been taught, but I quickly began to panic. I surfaced multiple times, asking Doug for help and he patiently re-iterated what I needed to do. “Relax, Jodie…blow in and out of your mouth (not your nose) and when water comes in your snorkel, blow out….hard!” After a few more failed attempts, he even switched masks with me- thinking perhaps it wasn’t user error. It was. Switching back to my original mask I stuck my face back in the water, determined to see more fish.

Gurgle, gurgle, choke….swim to the surface…..spit.

I was exhausted, my stomach hurt and I was DONE. As I made my way back towards the beach I asked the Lord to help me relax and be able to enjoy snorkeling with my husband for the remainder of our trip.

Two days later, we donned our snorkel gear again, jumped in the water & headed towards the rocky coast of Honeymoon Beach. This time I rode the waves – just like a professional. I encountered schools and schools of beautiful fish and dozens of exquisitely designed coral. Reveling in my new found freedom to roam the seas, I began asking the Lord “would you pleeeease let Doug and I see a stingray?” Three days later, while riding the waves on my 2nd attempt to stand up on a paddleboard in Dead Chest Bay, I caught a glimpse of a moving rock. It was a stingray!!! I yelled at Doug on the shore and he quickly ran to grab our snorkel masks. Both of us were able to follow (at a safe distance!) that extraordinary creature and watch him glide across the bottom of the sea. The following day, I swam across a starfish in the same area. Bonus!

When I began feeling like I was drowning in my marriage a decade ago, I clung to God’s promise of restoration and redemption to endure the fierce waves. Even when the waters continued to pour over my snorkel and choke the breath out of me, God was developing strength of character in me. Even when Doug continued to disappoint me and our lives felt like we were being smashed against the gigantic boulders on the shoreline, God was developing confident hope in me.

When we had 4 children under the age of 7, with 1 of them labeled “special needs,” I clung to God’s promise of training them in the way they should go to endure the fierce waves. Even when the waters continued to pour over my snorkel and choke the breath out of me, God was developing strength of character in me. Even when I would have to discipline our children over and over and over again for the same defiant, manipulative, deceitful behavior, God was developing confident hope in me.

Now, as I look back over those years, I realize every problem and every trial has helped me develop endurance, strength of character and a confident hope in the only One who offers salvation from the fierce waves. And I can honestly say, I have not been disappointed.

 

 

 

Table Teaching

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Proverbs 22:6

6 Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it.

When I was a kid, I was expected to sit to the table and eat whatever my mother cooked- no questions asked. Some of the menu items, quite frankly, made my stomach role and my nose crinkle when I smelled them being prepared. But, I knew better than to speak a word of my opinion, for my father frequently reminded us; we did NOT live in a democratic household!

Since I had no control of what I ate, I decided I would be a “nicer” parent and give my children the opportunity to eat whatever they wanted.

Then I had children.

I quickly realized that my parents weren’t so mean after all. In fact, it was just the opposite! Because they loved me, they taught me the discipline of eating what was offered- and not complaining about it.

When our 1st child came along, she was an obedient first born, willing to comply with whatever Doug and I gave her.

When our 2nd child came along, she decided she wanted to snack every hour and a half instead of eating 3 full meals a day and 2 snacks in between. We had a decision to make: submit to her demands, or teach her wisdom that would last a lifetime. We chose the later, even though, occasionally, she would “frow a fit” when she didn’t get her way.

When our 3rd child came along with severe acid reflux and autism (which we didn’t discover until she was nearly 2 years old) no amount of discipline remedied her issues. But, when God gave me the insight of providing her with whole foods and a strict routine, her body and her mind thrived.

When our 4th child came along, he used his lawyer-like skills on Doug, me and his 3 older sisters to obtain his food of choice. However, the judge and jury were quickly made aware of his manipulation. He has since served time and is on parole- and being completely rehabilitated!

As our family sits down for a meal each day, Doug and I have the opportunity to teach them invaluable lessons that don’t just relate to food:

Lesson #1: Gratefulness

Lesson #2: Thankfulness

Lesson #3: Treat others the way you want to be treated

We do this by trying to follow a few simple “rules”:

-Thank God for providing the meal

-Thank the person who has prepared it (mom, dad, grandparent, friend, etc.)

-Eat what you take

-If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all (“yuck,” “I don’t like this,” “this tastes burnt,” “this looks gross” will insult the cook).

-You may give an opinion of something new, after we’ve tried it (as long as you continue to follow the “say something nice” rule!)

-If you refuse to eat, you may be excused without any other food until the next mealtime

-You may choose your favorite meal/dessert on your birthday (or when mom hasn’t prepared anything to eat and asks the family what they want! )

Even though mealtime has often felt like a battleground, instead of a relaxing time to fellowship and nourish our bodies, Doug and I are finally beginning to see the “fruit” of our labors. On multiple occasions, our children have been praised by complete strangers and those who have hosted us for a meal, for their willingness to try new foods and their thankfulness towards the cook. And that delights this mama’s heart.

Proverbs 29:15

15To discipline a child produces wisdom,
but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.

Foolishness

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Proverbs 10:1 New Living Translation (NLT) 10 The proverbs of Solomon: A wise child brings joy to a father;
 a foolish child brings grief to a mother.

After a recent incident with one of our children, I was surprised to find myself completely overcome with grief. As I retreated to my prayer corner (otherwise known as my bedroom) my tears quickly turned into sobs. I then began crying out to God about all the things that were breaking my heart about this child…

Once I became quiet, the Lord began downloading the following revelations to my soul:

He loves me sooo much that He sacrificed His perfect son to be with me.

He loves me sooo much that His heart grieves when I disobey Him.

He loves me sooo much that He disciplines me when I act out of a heart of foolishness.

He loves me sooo much that He expects me to discipline our children when they act out of a heart of foolishness.

Proverbs 22:15 New Living Translation (NLT) 15 A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness,
 but physical discipline will drive it far away.

As I began re-playing the “incident” in my mind, I quickly realized that the action was not a result of sin. It was just a mistake. Mistakes happen- and although there may be natural consequences to them, discipline is usually not needed to correct them.

Why then was I still so grieved?

Foolishness.

fool•ish*ˈfu lɪʃ(adj.)

1. resulting from or showing a lack of sense.

2. lacking forethought or caution.

3. insignificant or paltry.

When confronted with the consequences of the mistake, the child in question became angry and began blaming me for the mistake. To make matters worse, she never apologized. Instead, I was left to suffer the consequences of the action, because the mistake included a personal item of mine. My grief was not about the item, but of being falsely accused AND not being shown compassion for the loss.

When our children were toddlers, “physical discipline” was easy to comprehend & administer. If mommy said “no” or “don’t touch” and was not obeyed, a smack on the hand or the rear end usually changed the behavior. As our children have grown, this type of discipline became obsolete. We realized that “physical” discipline needed to be changed from corporal punishment to a loss of something they wanted (privileges). Now-a-days, the loss of an electronic is a devastating blow to our teenager, pre-teen, 10 & 6 year old. Not having their gadgets IS physically painful for them! They also don’t appreciate giving up their free time to perform extra family chores (scrubbing toilets is also physically painful for them!). Of course, all of these disciplines wouldn’t be very effective if we didn’t administer them out of a heart of love. We don’t always get it right, but Doug and I both try to talk to our children before or after the discipline about the foolishness in their character that we are trying to eradicate. Of course all the discipline in the world isn’t effective if Doug and I aren’t willing to model the godly character that we expect of our children. Kids are very resistant to the “do as I say, not as I do” attitude.

I’ll be 38 years old in October, and it has taken a good majority of those years to come to realize why God disciplines me. It’s because I am His beloved daughter…and He loves me…. more than I can fathom. So now, when He rebukes me, or sends others to rebuke me, I don’t throw a complete hissy fit (well, at least not ALL the time!)

Proverbs 3:11 New Living Translation (NLT) 11 My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline,
 and don’t be upset when he corrects you.

Instead, I humble myself before my Father who loves me, repent of my foolishness & seek His forgiveness….as a result, my character is refined and our relationship is restored.

Just a few moments ago, our child repented, apologized and sought my forgiveness….as a result, her character is being refined and our relationship is restored.

 

 

Disciplined Disciple

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I have a great deal of respect for the marathon runner. It takes an extreme amount of discipline and determination to train for a 26.2 mile race. The hours, the distance, the terrain, the weather, the body aches, and the fatigue that they endure is at times, I’m sure, more than they can bear. Yet, they continue to run. Why? They have disciplined their mind, will and emotions to keep going until they reach the finish line.

I discovered many years ago that becoming a disciple of Jesus was going to be costly (Matthew 15:25-35). Not only would I have to repent of a LOT of sins, and ask the Holy Spirit to help me not continue in the same cycles, but I discovered that having a relationship with God was going to require quite a bit of work. I was going to have to be disciplined and begin training to run my race that He had set out before me. Now, I have to be completely honest- my initial training was, well, pretty pitiful. I only read my bible & prayed on Sundays, or the occasional Tuesday mornings (when I attended a women’s bible study). And worship only happened when the worship leader chose just the right song that would speak to my current emotion state and make me feel good (of course, that wasn’t really worship- it was more about me focusing on me). Many years later, I eventually realized that my half-hearted attempt to fulfill my “Christian” duties was not producing the fruit that I desired in my life, nor was it giving me life to the fullest! So, I began praying (on other days of the week!) to ask the Lord to give me the desire to want to read His word and communicate with Him, and worship Him. Then I got my lazy hind parts out of bed and cracked open the book that had been lying unopened on my shelf for so many years! It was a few more years before the word of God actually began to take root in my heart, and my ears began to hear, and my eyes began to see, yet I continued to discipline myself to do the training that was required to reach the finish line.

10+ years into my marathon, there are days that I am not a disciplined disciple. Some days I just don’t feel like getting out of bed and reading the word. Some days my emotions are so raw from grief of disappointment that I just don’t want to talk to God or worship Him.  Fortunately, I run my race for a merciful, gracious & loving God, who doesn’t stand at the finish line yelling at me to get my sneakers on and get going!!! Instead, when I finally engage my will, & ask Him for help, He brings me a bottle of His living water, and sits with me on the sidelines until I am re-hydrated and ready to resume my race.

You can’t be a runner if you aren’t disciplined to train every day. Likewise, you can’t be a disciple if you aren’t disciplined to meet with The Creator of your race every day. Yeah, the hours, the distance, the terrain, the weather, the body aches, and the fatigue that you will endure, may at times, be more than they you bare, but when you reach the finish line you will be able to say “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me- the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return”
2 Timothy 4:7-8.

-Jodie

Un used Tools

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(Originally posted to The Bullard Pack blog on 9/22/10)
We’ve owned our Toyota Sienna for more than 6 years. We’ve never really read the owner’s manual. Sure, we’ve skimmed through it a time or two, but we haven’t taken the time to thoroughly read all the fine details.
Recently, as our family of 6 was whizzing down the road, my husband and I became frustrated (yet again!) by the whining and complaining coming from the back seat. When we purchased the van in 2004, we were given 2 sets of wireless headphones for the radio/cd/tape player. They were of great value to a mommy of 2 little ones (who wanted to listen to worship music instead of cheesy kid’s songsJ). Soon, however, we had 3 sets of ears who wanted to hear, so I drove back to the dealership and bought another pair (after the brief heart attack I had from sticker shock!). When the 4th child arrived, we figured they all could learn to share!!!! They tried- sometimes. More often than not, though, the whining would ensue and one child would be left exclaiming “I wanna listen TOO!!!!!!!” (b/c a sing along w/ all 4 kids to Veggies Tales is much more FUN!!!) Occasionally, the crisis would be avoided if one of the older girls brought a game system, or book, or other activity to engage themselves, but most trips escalated to mom whining (well, more like yelling) “either share, or I’m turning it off!!!!
This particular morning was one of those instances…….
Fortunately, my wonderful husband came to the rescue…………. “Aren’t there some headphone jacks back there ????” My oldest daughter looked up and said “yeah, but do they work? We have wireless headphones!” With much enthusiasm I blurted out “well, get a pair of your WIRED headphones and plug them in!!!!” She did. Complete silence came over the peanut gallery (except for the occasional unison of “broccoli, celery, gotta be VEGGIE TALES!”
Peace……and quiet.
A few more miles down the road as Doug and I were enjoying a moment of uninterrupted adult conversation, we were discussing marriages that were failing b/c of people being separated from God. They didn’t know Him, let alone know how to live out the relationship that was designed by Him.
As I glanced over at my bible, I revealed a bitter truth “it’s like this book- people may have one lying on a shelf in their house, but they never pick it up and use it! Just like the headphone jacks that have been a part of this car since the day it was manufactured. We could have been using it all along, but we neglected to be a student of its owner’s manual.”
For many years, after I began not just believing in God, but wanting to know Him, I would pick up my bible, occasionally, and thumb through the concordance to read up on a topic of interest to me. I might relate, I might not- but the scriptures really never “came to life” for me. That is, not until I became a DISCIPLinEd reader.
What tool in your life are you not using? Is it God’s word? Pick it up, dust it off, and start a reading plan………the results that follow could provide peace….and quiet for your soul (& ears!).
– Jodie

Roots

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(Originally posted on The Bullard Pack blog on 5/19/10) 
Our girls and I have been studying Apologia Science: Botany for the past several months, and I must admit, classifying plants is not the most exciting topic of learning for me! Last week we read and discussed the function and need of roots for plants and trees. Like everything that God has created, they have a purpose.
Without roots, plants, trees, flowers and the like would not obtain the water and nutrition they need to sustain growth. They would also constantly be at the mercy of the elements. Rain would soak the ground and wash them away. Wind would blow them over, even, perhaps transporting them to another location. And without a firm base, or foundation within the soul beneath them, the plant would simply cease to exist.
On a recent hike with my husband up to Linville Falls, we made our way over and around several roots that had grown over the walking trails. My mind began bringing back the reasons why roots continue to reach out and grow wherever they can, whether it be deep beneath the earth, on top of the ground, or over existing trees, plants or other roots. Suffice to say, roots are relentless in their pursuit of growth. If their roots stop growing, they die.
Roots. What are my roots? Whom or what sustains me? Who is my strength when the elements of life overtake me? Where do I draw my nourishment from?
Although I have known about God for pretty much my entire life, I never really knew Him until I became an adult. I remember, sitting on our bed, 9 months pregnant with our first child when the floodgates opened in my soul. Through the sobbing and tears, I confessed to my husband that I didn’t think God could love me. I had turned my back on Him, and done so many sinful things that I knew He couldn’t forgive them all. In fact, I couldn’t even forgive myself. As my husband held me, he whispered “God loves you Jodie….all you have to do is ask for forgiveness, and He will give it to you. Ask Him to be your Savior” After a few rounds with the box of Kleenex, I did, and as they say, the rest is history……………
As I look back on the past decades of my life, I cringe at how, at times, my relationship with God has been so lukewarm. Only in the last few years have I really begun to develop deep roots in my life as a follower of Christ. Thank the Lord that through prayer and persistence and patience I have gradually, over time, immersed myself in the rich soil of God’s love and will for my life. I finally began getting up before the sun rises (did I mention that I HATE mornings? J) to read the Word and pray. I finally began praying for people when they asked me to (sometimes at that moment, in front of them!). I finally began sharing my failures with others, in order to encourage them in their faith in Jesus Christ. I finally became intentional about teaching our children about God and His love. For years I prayed for God to give me the desire to do all these things, and slowly, over time, He did. Of course, I had to actually get up and DO some of them, even when I didn’t (and still don’t!) feel like it.
Now that I have developed some roots, does that mean I’m done growing? Of course not! Even if I become a  giant redwood with roots as thick as a truck, it doesn’t mean I stop replenishing, maintaining, and feeding the soil in which I live in. In order to live a blessed life in which God will one day say “well done, my good and faithful servant,” (Matthew 25:23) I must continue to find sustenance  in God’s Word, stability in His Spirit and forgiveness in His Son. For without them, I will surely die. Maybe not a physical death- yet, but a spiritual one, and that, my friend is much worse.
– Jodie