Family
I don’t love you
1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (AMP)
13 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not [a]love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]. 2 And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing. 3 If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body [b]to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all.
4 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. 7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
The love passage. Believers and non-believers know these verses- and hurl them at one another frequently. It was read aloud at our wedding. I thought I loved my Prince Charming. I realize now that this Cinderella had NO idea what love was; how to receive-or give it. Then our kingdom expanded. We had 4 kids! Again, I had NO idea how to care for, much less love those tiny humans we brought home from the hospital. Then there’s others (not the others who lived on the island the passengers of Oceanic Flight 815 crashed onto in the ABC Series “LOST”). I mean others who don’t live in my home- which includes you.
Allow me to confess:
I don’t love my husband.
I don’t love our kids.
I don’t love you.
Yes, I’ve accepted Jesus as my Savior.
Yes, I’ve been baptized.
Yes, I’m part of the body of Christ.
Yes, I’ve been filled with the Holy Spirit.
Yes, I serve others in the church.
Yes, I give to the poor.
Yes, I speak with the tongues of man and angels.
Yes, I have the gift of prophesy.
Yes, I understand some mysteries.
Yes, I have some knowledge.
Yes, I have some faith.
BUT….
No, I don’t always endure with patience.
No, I am not always kind.
No, I am not always void of jealousy.
No, I don’t always crucify my rudeness (sarcasm anyone?!)
No, I am not always slow to anger.
No, I don’t always forgive and forget being wronged.
No, I don’t always look for the best in people (honestly, I rarely look for the best in people).
Allow me to confess, again:
I love Jesus.
He saved me.
He forgave me.
He delivered me…and is STILL delivering me- from fear. Fear of man. Fear of being hurt by man, again. Fear of being a victim of man, again. BUT, despite the experiences I’ve had in my past and recent present, there is still hope! Hope of being set free from fear. Hope of being set free from the One who is love. So, I will continue to abide in Him so that He can be completed and perfected in me. Moment by moment, day by day, year by year, I will sit at His feet and be filled to overflowing with His perfect love which casts out fear. And when I rise to do the work He has called me to (which involves my husband, kids, and you) His Spirit will pour out, and I will love others… because He first loved me.
1 John 4:15-19 Amplified Bible (AMP)
15 Whoever confesses and acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 We have come to know [by personal observation and experience], and have believed [with deep, consistent faith] the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides continually in him. 17 In this [union and fellowship with Him], love is completed and perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him]; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love]. 19 We love, because [a]He first loved us.
One flesh
Husband
7,000 others
1 Kings 19:9-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
9 There he came to a cave, where he spent the night.
But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10 Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”
11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.
And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
14 He replied again, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”
15 Then the Lord told him, “Go back the same way you came, and travel to the wilderness of Damascus. When you arrive there, anoint Hazael to be king of Aram.16 Then anoint Jehu grandson of Nimshi[a] to be king of Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from the town of Abel-meholah to replace you as my prophet.17 Anyone who escapes from Hazael will be killed by Jehu, and those who escape Jehu will be killed by Elisha! 18 Yet I will preserve 7,000 others in Israel who have never bowed down to Baal or kissed him!”
In the previous chapter of 1 Kings we read that Elijah had a pretty successful ministry:
- Elijah heard from God.
- He obeyed.
- God displayed His power.
- The people believed that the Lord was God.
- The false prophets of Baal were eliminated.
After that mountain top experience, the enemy was ticked off. And he didn’t slither away quietly. Nope. He influenced a wicked queen named Jezebel to threaten Elijah. She swore to kill him within a day, just as he had killed the false prophets.
The enemy is still ticked off. And he isn’t slithering away quietly.
Faithful people who minister the gospel to others all over the world are experiencing the same cycle as Elijah:
- They hear from God.
- They obey.
- God displays His power.
- The people believe that the Lord is
- The enemy is defeated.
I’m not a prophet. But I have served and ministered to people for more than a decade and I can tell you I have experienced this cycle personally.
- I hear from God.
- I obey.
- God displays His power.
- The people believe that the Lord is
- The enemy is defeated.
I’ve also been afraid like Elijah. Coming down off the miraculous mountain, I’ve received threats from the enemy through leaders, friends and yes, even family. And I’ve been paralyzed by fear. I’ve run away. I’ve told God, “I have had ENOUGH!” (19:4). The Lord, in His kindness has provided strength for me as I’ve journeyed (19:5-8). And after I’ve spent the night in a cave, the Lord has said, “what are you doing here?” (19:9). We’ve had a chat. I’ve whined about the wicked people in the world and the church. I’ve whined about the enemy trying to kill me! I’ve whined about how unfair it was that I was the only one faithfully serving Him…
That is, until recently, when God gently rebuked me by encouraging me to re-read the story of Elijah. I had known that the Lord was with me in the fight against the enemy. I had known that the Lord was my strength. I had known that the Lord had provided His armor for my protection. I had known that the sword He gave me would slay evil rulers, authorities of the unseen, and mighty powers in this dark world. I had known the euphoria of victory! But for the first time, as I re-read the above passage, I realized that I am not alone. I am not the only one faithfully serving the Lord.
At some point, when I had climbed down a mountain, the enemy had threatened me with the lie: “you are alone.”
And I believed it.
The Truth that I failed to receive (because of my fear….and subsequent pride) was that God has preserved 7,000 others alongside me! They too are fighting the good fight. They too are hearing from God, obeying, experiencing His miraculous power, seeing people repent and believe in God, and rejoicing when the enemy is defeated!
Fear & isolation is a very real issue amongst warriors in the Kingdom of God. Fatigued from faithfully serving. Weary from battle. Scarred from the arrows that have hit their mark through missing or broken armor. Exhausted from defeating the false prophets in the land. Wounded and afraid because angry leaders have been threatened by their ministry.
Many have said “that’s ENOUGH!” Many have run away. Many are hiding in caves. Many have been replaced by others. I don’t want to be among the many. I don’t want to be replaced. I don’t want to hide. I don’t want to run away from the battle.
- I want to know that HE is God.
- I want to experience His miraculous power.
- I want to see people repent and believe in Jesus.
- I want to help defeat the enemy.
- I want to know that there are 7,000 others with me!
- I want to hear “well done, good and faithful warrior.”
I’ve had ENOUGH. Enough of the enemy’s threats. Enough of his lies.
I am a child of the King. I will put on His armor. I will obey His commands. I will fight with my double-edged sword. And….I will rest in the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91).
Training
A New Plan
In 2001, amidst a painful wilderness journey in our marriage, the Holy Spirit whispered a promise, “I will use this for my Glory and your good.” Within a year, we began leading the first of numerous marriage small groups in which we shared our story of rebellion, redemption and restoration with the Lord- and one another. In 2010 we faced the giants in the land and established ONE Flesh Marriage Ministries, a 501©(3) non-profit corporation. We began serving engaged, married, estranged and legally separated couples through day & weekend conferences, small groups and mentoring.
God kept His promise.
In 2017, in the midst of another painful wilderness journey in our marriage and family, God spoke again, “let go of ONE Flesh…” After wrestling through the reasons why we should/should not, we chose to obey. We let go.
Then the Lord delivered a new promise.
Our purpose of making disciples would remain, but a new name and ministry plan would be required. So, after seven years of marching into the Promised Land, we are excited to announce that God has expanded our territory to include every member of the family! ONE Flesh Marriage Ministries has become At Home Ministries. We are continuing to make disciples by teaching families to love God. We are accomplishing this by:
–Preaching the gospel to people of every generation so that they may trust Jesus as Savior & Lord.
–Praying with people of every generation so that they may receive the love of the Father as sons and daughters.
–Providing family meetings for people of every generation to be rooted in the Father, grow in the Son and be fruitful in the Spirit to provide for others in their community.
Deep Into the Water 