Marriage

Dance Lessons

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Psalm 37:23-24

23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
 He delights in every detail of their lives.

24 Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Last night I experienced my first couples dance class, along with 10 other people in our small group. While our instructor taught us the essentials of the waltz, fox trot and swing, I couldn’t help but see a few similarities between the dance lesson and some of the lessons I’ve learned about marriage:

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Dance Lesson #1:

The man MUST take the lead- but he cannot force the woman to go where he wants. Instead, he should gently guide her where they need to go.

Marriage Lesson #1:

God designed the man to lead the woman- and their children. However, if the man tries to force his wife to go where HE wants, he may experience great resistance- and the relationship will not be life giving for either of them.

 

Dance Lesson #2:

The woman must have good tone (pressure) placed against her partners ‘saddle’ (area above the bicep, but below the shoulder), his hand that she holds, and his hand that is placed upon her back. If not, she will miss a step….. or get stepped on!

Marriage Lesson #2:

The woman must have good tone when she speaks to her husband. If her words are pushing him to go the way SHE wants, she will most likely get her toes (feelings) stepped on.

 

Dance Lesson #3:

If you don’t listen to the voice of the instructor you won’t know what to do! And, if you can’t hear the rhythm of the music, you won’t know when to begin the dance or be able to keep in time through the remainder of it.

Marriage Lesson #3:

If you don’t listen to the voice of THE Instructor, you will find yourself and your spouse on a dance floor you don’t belong. If you cannot hear the rhythm of the Holy Spirit you won’t be able to take the steps necessary to go where He wants you to go….in the right time.

 

Dance Lesson #4:

If you don’t trust your partner, you cannot dance.

Marriage Lesson #4:

If you don’t trust your spouse, you cannot be one.

As my husband and I circled the dance floor last night there were several occasions when my feet weren’t keeping up with the rhythm in my mind! Seeing my frustration, Doug whispered, “do you trust me?” “Yes,” I replied….then he gently led me back to where I needed to be- and we quickly resumed our dance.

 

We’ll be married 18 years on the 18th of this month. I’m sure there are plenty more lessons to be learned about what it means to be husband and wife the way Our Instructor created us to be. Perhaps we need to sign up to take another dance class to find out what those are!?

Cleanse Me

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Psalm 19:12-14

12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
 Cleanse me from these hidden faults.

13 Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
    Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
    and innocent of great sin.

14 May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

There’s a common misconception among those who visit our home. Repeatedly we hear “your house is so CLEAN- how do you keep it that way with 4 kids?!” in which I reply “I like to keep things tidy…but if you look close, you’ll see its not really clean!”

When I was a little girl, I passed over the top of the toilet, sink and shower with my sponge just enough to make it LOOK like I had actually cleaned the bathroom. But my mother wasn’t fooled. She frequently had to make me go back and re-do all of it.

Our kids are the same way. They wipe the surface of the fixtures, but they really don’t scrub them in order to clean all the hidden yuck lurking beneath. Perhaps they just don’t see it. Perhaps they’re too lazy to do the work. Or, perhaps they’d rather get their chore done as quickly as possible to do something more FUN!!! It’s probably all of the above. I should know, because I still do the same thing when it comes to cleaning the master bathroom shower. In fact, I’ve even started asking my husband to clean it for us (he’s a much better detailed cleaner than I am anyway….but really, I just don’t wanna do it!!!)

It’s a similar tactic the enemy uses on me time and time again to keep me from seeing the sins lurking in my heart. Sure, I may “confess” my general sins in order to wipe the surface, but often I’m too lazy to ask God for specifics, so that I may sincerely repent. To be completely honest, most of the time I just don’t feel like allowing Him to expose the yuck. It’s much easier to ignore it or blame someone else for the dirt- and try to force them to clean it up.

Let’s face it; cleaning the bathroom takes time, effort and a lot of scrubbing. But, when the hidden yuck is removed and the surface begins to sparkle like diamonds it can finally be used – and enjoyed – for its intended purpose.

If I truly want God to cleanse me I must be willing to invest the time and effort for the Holy Spirit to remove the yuck from my soul….AND I must be willing to crucify my flesh and submit my will to His. Only then will love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control shine like the Son on the surface of my life.

1 John 1:9-10

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for the yuck to build back up in the bathroom….so I need to keep the cleaning bucket ready for touch up cleans, as well as the regularly scheduled deep cleans that are required. The same is true for my soul; cleansing isn’t a one-time event- it’s an ongoing, life long process.

Honor God with your Body

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1 Corinthians 6:9-11

9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. 11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Since the creation of man & woman, the enemy has lied to God’s children and their doubt of the Almighty’s goodness has resulted in their choosing to sin against Him. Sin is sin, there is no “ranking”  in God’s word about which is the worst. But, there are several warnings listed about the severity of sexual sin and how it affects the individual and the ones in whom he/she is in relationship.

I know this all too well, for I did not heed the warnings. Not only did I believe in my mind that I had the “right” to do such things, my emotions confirmed the deceit that doing what felt good in the moment would fill the void of love, acceptance and worthiness that I so desperately craved. Decision after decision to disobey God’s commands drowned out the whisper of the Holy Spirit to RUN FROM ALL SEXUAL SIN until eventually, I no longer heard Him speak. My mind and emotions had convinced my will to surrender to the wooing of the enemy.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”[d]17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

For years I allowed my flesh to be the lord of my life and slowly my experiences plunged me into a deep dark depression which tempted me to just run away from it all- permanently.

I was robbed of the joy of living and everything I held dear had either been stolen, killed or almost completely destroyed. Not only was my relationship with my Heavenly Father broken, but so was my relationship with my spouse. Oneness had always eluded us.

Fed up & desperate for change, I finally surrendered to the only One who could rescue me from the pit.

Psalm 103:1-5

1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The first choice I had to make towards being made right with God was to call on the name of the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit for help. Then I had to be willing to acknowledging all the deep dark secrets that had been locked away from myself and others for so many years. Only then was I able to force my will to confess & repent to God, confess and repent to my husband and confess to others who helped me through the process of cleansing.

1 John 1:9

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

As a daughter in the Kingdom of God who has received a rich inheritance I can tell you that there is only ONE WAY to obtain the love, acceptance and worthiness your soul was made to crave. Don’t be fooled by the lies of the enemy to engage in sexual sin. Jesus is the ONLY way, the ONLY Truth and the ONLY life. And He is the ONLY One who can truly set you free from the bondage of sexual sin so that you may once again honor God with your body.

John 8:36

36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

The Blessings of the Locusts

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Joel 2:12-14, 25-26

12 That is why the Lord says,
“Turn to me now, while there is time.
Give me your hearts.
Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. 13 Don’t tear your clothing in your grief,
but tear your hearts instead.”
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is merciful and compassionate,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He is eager to relent and not punish. 14 Who knows? Perhaps he will give you a reprieve,
sending you a blessing instead of this curse.

25 The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. 26 Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.

I have encountered multiple armies of locusts in the field of my life, my marriage and my parenting. Some of them destroyed only a portion of the crops and some have stripped every sprig of growth, leaving nothing but bare soil. Some of the locusts swarmed me, leaving me feeling completely overwhelmed and helpless. Some of them hopped all over me, becoming a pesky nuisance that distracted me and caused me to live in constant fear, not knowing what direction they would come to pounce on me again. Some stripped away everything of value to me, leaving me feeling absolutely hopeless about my future. And some cut my soul so deeply that death seemed to be the only possible relief. Some of those locusts invaded my field as result of my sin….and some trespassed on my land because of someone else’s.

At times I have yelled violently, shaking my fists at the enemy for sending these vicious attacks, but only recently have I realized that the enemy can do nothing without God allowing him to. Every army of locusts that are dispatched to my field MUST be given permission to destroy by the Creator of the universe. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this life happens to me without passing through the hand of God Almighty first.

It’s an earth shaking revelation to know that God has allowed, or even sent destroying armies of locusts to obliterate almost every living thing in my field. But, I am slowly beginning to understand that every trial, every heartbreak, every loss, every triumph, every devastation, every abundant harvest is from Him and FOR Him. And, every locust sent is for my ultimate good because it draws me closer to Himself and causes another area of my flesh to die so that I can grow to be more like His Son. He endured every swarming, hopping, stripping and cutting locust on my behalf, so that I may have life to the full……. and if that weren’t enough, He promises to restore what was lost to the locusts, as I return to Him and repent.

Lord, I praise you for the blessings of the locusts in my life. You are loving, you are righteous, you are healer, you are deliverer, you are redeemer, you are restorer …and you work ALL things for my good.

Take the Garbage Out!

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1 John 3

3 See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. 2 Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is. 3 And all who have this eager expectation will keep themselves pure, just as he is pure.

4 Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God. 5 And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him. 6 Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is.

7 Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous. 8 But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil. 9 Those who have been born into God’s family do not make a practice of sinning, because God’s life[a] is in them. So they can’t keep on sinning, because they are children of God. 10 So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers[b] does not belong to God.

One of my favorite poems by Shel Silverstein tells the story of a little girl who continually refuses to obey her daddy – and take out the trash. Eventually, the pile of rubbish becomes so high that it begins to negatively affect her relationships with others, so Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout finally decides to take the garbage out! Unfortunately, however, because of her constant procrastination, the pile is so high that she is no longer able.

Over the years, Doug and I have witnessed many sons and daughters continually refuse to obey their Daddy- and take out the trash. As a result, their rotten, stinky, filthy sins begin to pile up. When the weight of the pile begins to destroy their marriage, one of them will eventually become exasperated and announce: “I’m done.” In an attempt to clean up the mess, they will relent, as Sarah did, and try to muster up the strength to empty the trash on their own. Sadly, in most cases, they become so overwhelmed with the magnitude of the pile they just ignore it and walk away..…

When I got married I had a dumpster full of trash. As I continued to break God’s law the pile got larger and it too began to negatively affect my relationship with my husband. Several years went by until I finally said “OK, I’ll take the garbage out!” But, just like Sarah, I was overwhelmed and completely unable….

That is, until I realized that…..

1) even if my pile of sins reaches the sky, when I confess, God is always faithful to forgive me.

2) His Spirit will patiently help me remove each and every piece of rotten, stinky, filthy trash from my life through the power of His Word.

3) He will provide others in the Body of Christ to pray for, encourage and hold me accountable to continue to take the garbage out!

1 John 1:5-10

5 This is the message we heard from Jesus[a] and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. 6 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. 7 But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

Great Wealth

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1 Timothy 6:2-10

Teach these things, Timothy, and encourage everyone to obey them. 3 Some people may contradict our teaching, but these are the wholesome teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. These teachings promote a godly life. 4 Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions. 5 These people always cause trouble. Their minds are corrupt, and they have turned their backs on the truth. To them, a show of godliness is just a way to become wealthy.

6 Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. 7 After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. 8 So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.

9 But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

I grew up in a stereotypical affluent city in Southern California. Many of the kids I went to school with came from wealthy families who lived in huge houses (they were mansions to me), drove top of the line cars and wore every name brand item that hung on the rack. Unbeknownst to me, my dad made pretty good money back in those days, but like many kids in America, I felt neglected because my parents refused to give me everything my little greedy heart desired. Still, I always had enough food and plenty of clothing…

25 years later, Doug & I are now the parents who are trying to train our children (Proverbs 22:6) to be content.  Fortunately, God’s Word provides all the answers we need. Unfortunately, however, there is much division among biblical teachers & preachers in regards to how God’s truth is to be applied. According to some, we, God’s children are heirs in His Kingdom; therefore, we should have faith for wealth, health and prosperity (just to name a few). Because, after all, God loves His children and wants to bless us…right?

According to Matthew 7:7-11, God DOES love us and wants to give us good gifts, but these gifts are of His Spirit, not treasures that are temporal (Matthew 6:19-21).

So what if all this great wealth is a test for His children, instead of a platform for an inspirational teaching about the accrual of treasure?

Imagine if we, His heirs chose to worship Him by giving 10% to the church to Advance His Kingdom in our communities, nation and throughout the world. Imagine if we also gave above the tithe to others whom God has prompted us to serve. Imagine if we were good stewards and spent less than the numbers on our paycheck each month.  Imagine if we saved for the future. Imagine if we paid cash for big purchases instead of accruing a larger balance on our credit cards. Imagine if we stopped comparing our lives to the Jones’ (whoever they are) in the Kingdom and in the world and choose to be content with what God has given us!

How could those few things change the world for Christ? I can only speak from personal experience and say that it has radically changed my husband’s life and mine. When Doug and I were DINKS (Dual Income No Kids), we made good money, but squandered most of it. When I became a stay-at-home unpaid mom, we were somehow able to live on less money with more people to support. We were able to tithe 10% of our gross income to our local church. We were able to give to others out of an overflow. We were able to sacrifice our wants to get out of credit card debt. We were able to pay cash for unexpected emergencies. And we were able to afford to have a little fun, too.

How were we able? By loving Jesus.

John 14:15-21

15 “If you love me, obey[a] my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate,[b] who will never leave you. 17 He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.[c] 18 No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. 19 Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. 20 When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.”

I wish I could say that I am no longer tempted by great wealth. I am. Comparison to the Jones’ can do that to you…but thankfully, as I continue to pursue an attitude of gratitude towards Our Provider by daily surrendering to His will through Worship, Prayer & His Word, I have been able to avoid all kinds of evil.

Father, would you help me know your truth about wealth and how that applies to my life? Thank you for blessing me with the gifts of your Spirit- and for the abundance of food, clothing and material objects we possess. May your Spirit always keep my heart content, whether our bank account dwindles or expands.

Amen

Princess

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Psalm 44:4-8

4 You are my King and my God…..

5 Only by your power can we push back our enemies;
    only in your name can we trample our foes. 6 I do not trust in my bow;
I do not count on my sword to save me.

7 You are the one who gives us victory over our enemies;
 you disgrace those who hate us.

8 O God, we give glory to you all day long
and constantly praise your name.

Revelation 19:16

16 On his robe at his thigh was written this title: King of all kings and Lord of all lords.

I’ve been a fan of animated Disney movies all my life. I am especially fond of those that tell a story about a princess and her prince that rescues her from the wicked queen. As a little girl, I lived in a perpetual fantasy land of fairy tales and make believe….but when I grew up and married my prince, my story didn’t turn out exactly as I had dreamed.

I’ve since discovered that many princesses in the Kingdom live in a similar state of mind that was never written, produced or directed for them by their King. Instead, the evil queen (Satan) has conjured up unrealistic expectations for them- and their prince- and although they may be hidden, they believe and live by them. And when those expectations aren’t met, he whispers more little lies into their ears until they feel as if all hope is lost.

Fortunately, I received revelation not so long ago, in a land far, far away about who I am and who my young prince is. I am the daughter of the One True King. My husband is the son of the One True King. Along with all the inheritance that Our King has bestowed on us, we are also given His power to push back the evil queen and live out this abundant life- and marriage that our King has promised.

Through the power of prayer and the life giving truth of His Word my prince and I were rescued and brought back to the castle in which we were destined to inherit. Still, occasionally that wicked queen taunts us to eat the apple or become “human” by surrendering our voice, but we are always given a choice to choose; life or death, faith or fiction.

So whether you’re locked away in the tower, in a deep sleep, or surrounded by little people that drive you crazy all day…..believe me when I tell you that you can cry out to the King of kings and He will come riding up on His white horse to save you! (AND….. if you ask Him, He’ll also help you see your husband for the prince he really is, instead of a slimy, wart covered frog)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuJWQzjfU3o