On the Way

Exodus 4:24-26

24 On the way to Egypt, at a place where Moses and his family had stopped for the night, the Lord confronted him and was about to kill him. 25 But Moses’ wife, Zipporah, took a flint knife and circumcised her son. She touched his feet[a] with the foreskin and said, “Now you are a bridegroom of blood to me.” 26 (When she said “a bridegroom of blood,” she was referring to the circumcision.) After that, the Lord left him alone.

After having a supernatural burning bush encounter with God, Moses packed up his family and possessions into the minivan (aka: donkey) and headed back to Egypt to confront Pharaoh. But on the way to fulfill this HUGE call on his life, the Lord confronted him- and was about to kill him.

What!?!

IMG_4220All of us want to be significant. We want to leave a lasting mark on this earth before we enter into eternal worship of the Father. But sometimes, when we’re flying down the interstate in our minivan or SUV to go fulfill the HUGE call on our life, we fail to obey God in our life, our marriage, and our parenting. Let’s be honest: keeping our covenant with God and our spouse and our children is an unending, self-sacrificing, non-glamorous act of daily obedience. Entire nations aren’t watching us, cheering us on to do what is required. Yet, regardless of the size of the call (btw: every call from God is HUGE and designed for His purposes alone), we must be willing to obey His commands completely in every area of our lives …first. Otherwise, our mind, soul or body may die on the way to that HUGE call.

Growing up sheltered in the palace, then living in Midian, Moses may not have been aware of the covenant God made several hundred years prior with Abraham:

Genesis 17:9-14

Then God said to Abraham, “Your responsibility is to obey the terms of the covenant. You and all your descendants have this continual responsibility. 10 This is the covenant that you and your descendants must keep: Each male among you must be circumcised. 11 You must cut off the flesh of your foreskin as a sign of the covenant between me and you. 12 From generation to generation, every male child must be circumcised on the eighth day after his birth. This applies not only to members of your family but also to the servants born in your household and the foreign-born servants whom you have purchased. 13 All must be circumcised. Your bodies will bear the mark of my everlasting covenant. 14 Any male who fails to be circumcised will be cut off from the covenant family for breaking the covenant.”

Still, regardless of his ignorance, or whether or not his wife, Zipporah was opposed to circumcision, God had required it as an outward symbol of His promise to His people. Failure to do so would have literally cut Moses and his family off from Gods power and protection.

On the way to fulfilling the HUGE exodus of God’s people out of slavery, Moses chose to obey God in his life, his marriage and his parenting. I pray that I will do the same.

Foundation

Matthew 7:24-27

24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

For the last few years, we’ve (by that, I mean, my husband!) been repairing cracks in the fireplace and front porch of our home. As the problem persisted, however, we eventually hired a contractor to repair and re-cement the fractured bricks. IMG_4737

Last month, after much prayer and waiting, we decided to go ahead with some other household projects we had been delaying. One of which, was a full kitchen remodel. Our house was built in the 1980’s and the décor and design isn’t necessarily our style. We’ve done numerous upgrades and cosmetic changes to every room of our colonial style home, but I’ve been HGTV-dreaming of bringing our kitchen (aka: my workplace) into the 21st century for 8 years! With sketches and designs in hand, I called our contractor to begin the task of getting estimates. Upon his recommendation, we also decided to call a structural engineer to see if he could fix the chimney and front steps at the same time. I was NOT prepared for what he had to say, after he inspected our property. “Um, ma’am…the front steps and chimney are cracked and settling, but that isn’t the real problem. Your foundation has sunk 1-2 inches and will continue to drop. You can choose not to repair the issue, but eventually, it will pull so far away from the original foundation that it may bring the living room, upstairs bedroom, chimney and front steps crashing down.”

What the what?!?!

If that wasn’t enough of a punch in the gut, the estimate for repairing it WAS.

Dream kitchen budget = $0.00

Foundation repairs = $      (a few more zeros…. and other numbers)

Homeownership. Isn’t it fun?!

In the coming weeks, a team of engineers will descend upon our property in order to drill steel pipes past the sandy soil in our front yard (we live in the Sandhills of NC) until they hit bedrock. Once the jacks are literally cemented into the ground, they will attempt to lift our house back to its original foundation.

During the first several years of our marriage, Doug and I also made some cosmetic and design changes to our relationship. For the short term, they seemed to work- and look good from the outside…but eventually, issues began to resurface and show major cracks in our foundation. What we failed to realize was: our lives- and our marriage was not built on solid rock. And when the rains, floods and winds of sin, neglect and unforgiveness hit, they began to destroy our home.

Thankfully, however, we eventually chose to surrender to the Master Structural Engineer and through the help of a few contractors, we were able to see the cracks, drill down to bedrock, install pillars of Truth and begin to restore our relationship to His original plan. Was it costly? Yep. Moving out of sinking sand not only affected our hearts, minds and souls- it also affected our bank account. But believe me when I tell you- it was completely worth it (let’s hope I say the same thing when I write that check out to the engineers!).

Gifts of the Spirit

1 Corinthians 12:27-28
27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. 28 Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:
first are apostles,
second are prophets,
third are teachers,
then those who do miracles,
those who have the gift of healing,
those who can help others,
those who have the gift of leadership,
those who speak in unknown languages.

Romans 12:4-8
4 For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. 6 We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; 7 ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; 8 the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

There is much debate among believers regarding the gifts of the Spirit. There are those who repeatedly seek the Lord, asking Him to give whichever gifts He chooses so that they can fulfill their part in the body of Christ. There are those who prefer to stay in their lukewarm bathtub and watch everyone else love God, love others and go make disciples. And there are those who believe the gifts of the Spirit were given only to the early church, and to operate in those “gifts” today is blasphemous.

I’ve been a member of all 3 groups. Growing up Presbyterian, Methodist and then joining a few non-denominational bodies (many were just “a Baptist church with a cool web site!”- Tim Hawkins) I experienced a myriad of theologies, church policies and core beliefs. Originally I was a HUGE skeptic, sitting on the back pew, judging a bunch of freaks speaking in unknown languages, predicting the future and healing people. Looking back over my initial exposure of the gifts being expressed corporately, I now realize that I was both incredibly naïve to the Spirit of God AND greatly lacking in the discerning of evil spirits. Just as the demons tried to draw attention to themselves during Jesus’ ministry on earth, their leader still continues to try to steal, kill and destroy what the Holy Spirit is doing amongst God’s people. BUT, lets not throw the baby out with the lukewarm bath water just because a few demons raise a ruckus! After all, as children of the King, we are able, through the power of His Spirit, to crush the enemy.

Luke 10:19
19 Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.

Years later, still being a non-conformist, I continued to snub those holy rollers, until my relationship with the Savior of the world began to deepen. The more I sought His presence and surrendered my will to His, the more He began to fill me to overflowing with His Spirit. And then, He moved me (literally) into a body that had many healthy functioning parts who were able to teach, lead and help me know more about the Father, Son and Spirit.

IMG_2963A decade or more has now passed since I began searching the scriptures and asking God to show me His truth about the gifts of the Spirit. He has been faithful to do so, over and over and over again, in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. I am in awe of His love and generosity for His children, for His church, and for those who don’t yet know Him.

If you, like me, are a skeptic or a lukewarm follower of Christ I want to encourage you, no- URGE you to seek God about His gifts. Find a bible with an extensive concordance and start digging through its life giving pages. Find a mentor in the body that is a little further along in their walk to teach you what they know. And, if you continue to struggle in your unbelief, ask the Holy Spirit to enable you to take authority over the power of the enemy in your life.

Then, hold on to your pew, because God is gonna pour out His Spirit all over your heart, mind and soul so that you can love Him- and others like never before!

Acts 2:17-20
17 ‘In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
 and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
 and your old men shall dream dreams.
18 Even upon my slaves, both men and women,
 in those days I will pour out my Spirit;
 and they shall prophesy.
19 And I will show portents in the heaven above
 and signs on the earth below,
 blood, and fire, and smoky mist.
20 The sun shall be turned to darkness
 and the moon to blood,
 before the coming of the Lord’s great and glorious day.

Matthew 22:37
37 He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

More

Genesis 37:3-4
3 Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe.[b] 4 But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.

Joseph’s brothers hated him because their dad continually showed more love for their little brother- not them.

It happens all too frequently in family, between siblings, in marriage, among friends, and even in the church. We blame another person as a result of feeling rejected by the one we wanted to love us… more.

All of us are heart wired to be loved. God designed us that way. We come into this world screaming for attention from our father and mother. If our heart isn’t filled, we’ll throw a hissy fit, disobey, or do whatever it takes to be noticed. Add a sibling to the mix and the desire seems to increase- exponentially!

Left unsatisfied, our broken heart eventually falls prey to the tactics of the enemy. As a result, we unknowingly begin to form a hardened heart, which blames everyone around us, except for the person who didn’t love us….more.

If our wounded heart is left unattended for too long, we inevitably begin to hurt others, lie and cause overwhelming grief to the ones closest to us.

Genesis 37:23-35
23 So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe he was wearing. 24 Then they grabbed him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 Then, just as they were sitting down to eat, they looked up and saw a caravan of camels in the distance coming toward them. It was a group of Ishmaelite traders taking a load of gum, balm, and aromatic resin from Gilead down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain by killing our brother? We’d have to cover up the crime.[a] 27 Instead of hurting him, let’s sell him to those Ishmaelite traders. After all, he is our brother—our own flesh and blood!” And his brothers agreed. 28 So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces[b] of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.
29 Some time later, Reuben returned to get Joseph out of the cistern. When he discovered that Joseph was missing, he tore his clothes in grief. 30 Then he went back to his brothers and lamented, “The boy is gone! What will I do now?”
31 Then the brothers killed a young goat and dipped Joseph’s robe in its blood. 32 They sent the beautiful robe to their father with this message: “Look at what we found. Doesn’t this robe belong to your son?”
33 Their father recognized it immediately. “Yes,” he said, “it is my son’s robe. A wild animal must have eaten him. Joseph has clearly been torn to pieces!” 34 Then Jacob tore his clothes and dressed himself in burlap. He mourned deeply for his son for a long time. 35 His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep.

The only cure to release the toxin of hatred that forms in our hearts is to throw ourselves down at the throne of Grace. When the King of Kings begins to perform healing heart surgery and shines His light through the damaged areas of our soul, we begin to see that those we were jealous of and spent a great deal of energy hating weren’t the ones who originally caused us pain. Occasionally, the Holy Spirit may even make a deep incision, revealing that we have blamed Our Creator. Whether we consciously think about it or not, in the recesses of our heart, sometimes we find it difficult to understand how a loving God would allow us to be hurt by those He placed in our lives to love and protect us. Blame God? No way. That’s just not right. God is perfect, sovereign, holy, righteous, blameless….
Yeah, He is. But that doesn’t mean that our imperfect hearts don’t wanna point the finger at the One in charge. We’re sinners, after all, who often lean toward the selfish and self-serving desires rather than the chosen, redeemed, restored heart of a saint. Yet, knowing this, God in his loving kindness still beckons us not to deny our feelings or hide our brokenness in an empty cistern. IMG_4310Instead, He calls us to pour out our complaints so that He can show us His perspective, His truth, His love.

Psalm 142:1-2
1 I cry out to the Lord;
 I plead for the Lord’s mercy.
2 I pour out my complaints before him
 and tell him all my troubles.

And miraculously, once we confess, repent and forgive, we are able to receive more unfailing love from Our Father than all the grain in Pharaoh’s storehouses.

Ephesians 3:18
18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

Letting Go

Matthew 14:22-33

22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[a] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![b]”

28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[c] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.

On Sunday, my husband and I surprised our oldest daughter with a zip line and sling shot trip for her birthday. As I stepped into my harness and began the safety lesson, I started praying….asking God to help me NOT be afraid. Down the first line I went. “Woo hoo! This is fun. I can do it!” my mind said. But, as the height, length of the line and speed increased, so did my heart rate- and so did my fear. Apparently, I began mumbling my anxious thoughts out loud because at some point, our daughter turned and said, “Mom, just lift your feet and let go.” Yes, ma’am. Down the line I went, zipping past towering pines, oaks and birch trees native to North Carolina, a trickling creek, an abandoned mill house and a rushing waterfall. Absolutely breathtaking.

2014-10-19 16-13 0

Had a refused to let go of the side of the boat, lift my feet and walk on water I would have missed out on a great adventure. I would have missed the gorgeous views from the treetops. I would have missed the thrill of riding through the woods, suspended from a thin line. I would have missed sharing a new experience with our daughter. I would have missed another lesson God wanted me to learn.

What happened to the other disciples in the boat? Why didn’t they go over the side and walk on water? Were they too afraid and thus content to just sit and watch Peter? Did they rationalize that if their friend sank, they would too? What did they miss by not letting go?

Today, as we celebrate our daughter turning 15, I realize the next few years will require a LOT of letting go. Driving. Dating. College. Career.….. We have tried to train her in the way that she should go, but we’ve failed in a lot of ways. A lot. Yet, by the grace of God, we’ve been blessed to watch this strong willed, brilliant, athletically talented, gifted, compassionate young leader emerge and begin her journey of climbing out of our boat, onto the water, to walk towards her Savior.

Letting go on a zip line is hard. Letting go of our children is harder. Yet, I know that God is in control. I know that He can be trusted. I know that His plans for all of our children are good. And I know that whenever the strong wind and waves develop in their lives, He will be there to reach out and grab them. I know this because He’s done the same for me, His daughter.

Knowing Christ

Philippians 3:1-10

Whatever happens, my dear brothers and sisters,[a] rejoice in the Lord. I never get tired of telling you these things, and I do it to safeguard your faith.

Watch out for those dogs, those people who do evil, those mutilators who say you must be circumcised to be saved. For we who worship by the Spirit of God[b] are the ones who are truly circumcised. We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort, though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!

I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.[c] For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death.

I was a member of the Pharisees who demanded the strictest obedience to the law- of myself. Although my actions seemed honorable, I tried to obey His commandments…. my hearts motivation was completely wrong. Essentially, what I was really doing was attempting to manipulate God into believing that I loved Him, so He would bless me. I was a Christian in name only, for my will had absolutely no intention of being crucified with Christ.

I, like Paul, once thought obeying the law was valuable. But when I began to encounter God in a supernatural way, I realized that everything- everything I had attempted to do, in my own strength, was absolute garbage. Love. God’s love is the key to knowing Christ.

IMG_4382My love for Christ began to blossom when I started to regularly read God’s Word, worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, and communicate with Him any time, any place, about any thing. One aspect of my prayer life that has absolutely revolutionized my relationship with Jesus is simply this: I ask Him, “Lord…I need you…please show me where you are….” (Remember, God is omnipresent, so He is always with us- whether we realize it or not). When I can see him (by the Spirit), my heart is overwhelmed with love for the One who gave His life for me. If I’m angry, frustrated, burdened, worried, scared, hurt, feeling lonely, betrayed, inadequate, unloved….I can run to Him, and He will gather me up in His arms each and every time. As I stay with Him, He’ll whisper words of love, identity and purpose to me. Sometimes He’ll even rebuke me- but it is always, always for my good. In His arms I am free to forgive and be forgiven. In His embrace I find shelter from the storms of life and promises for tomorrow. In the shadow of His wings, I fear Him alone.

Then, a miraculous exchange occurs: He tells me how to love Him

John 14:15

15 “If you love me, obey[a] my commandments.

and my heart melts, wanting nothing else than to surrender my will to His. And in that moment, I become righteous through faith in the One who loved me so much, that He surrendered His will to the Father to give His life for me.

Childlike

Matthew 11:25-26

25 At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. 26 Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way!

IMG_3765While sitting at Holden Beach, NC with some ladies from a ONE Flesh Small Group this weekend, I savored the sound of the crashing waves, the coolness of the wind blowing on my face and the softness of the sand enveloping my feet.

Not content to just sit at the beach, however, I finally got up and followed one of my friends, who was strolling along the waters edge, searching for unique seashells that had made their way to the coastline.

On the final day of our stay, I followed another friend who wanted to go swimming, into the cool Atlantic water. Afraid to completely immerse myself in the ocean because of an emerging head cold, I chose to stay in the shallows so that I could keep my head and shoulders above the water. But, as I continued to watch my friend catch wave after wave and float all the way to the shoreline I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing out on something….

There was no fear in her, no worry, no anxiousness of being overcome by the waves. She acted so childlike; overflowing with joy….peace….fullness of life.

As I was relaying these beach adventures to my husband last night, he wisely replied, “kind of symbolic of our relationship with God, huh?”

Yep.

Some of us are so wise and clever:

-content to sit on the beach and just look at God.

-content to walk along the shoreline with His Son to get our feet wet from time to time…. when we want something.

-content to jump into the waves for a swim, but quickly high tail it back to the beach when a massive wave of His Spirit threatens to overcome us.

And some of us are so childlike in our pursuit of God:

-wanting to soak in Our Father’s love

-wanting to be consumed by the presence of His Spirit

-wanting to become more and more like His Son.

Fortunately, there’s hope for us who are wise and clever! God promises to reveal His truth to us….IF we turn from our sins, become like a little child, and obey Him.

Matthew 18:2-4

Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

“All God’s revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. You will never get them open by philosophy or thinking. Immediately you obey, a flash of light comes. Let God’s truth work in you by soaking in it, not by worrying into it….God will never reveal more truth about Himself until you have obeyed what you know already. Beware of becoming “wise and prudent.’” –Oswald Chambers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc