(Originally posted to The Bullard Pack blog on 8/4/09)
While watching Disney’s Squanto w/ my children last week, my oldest daughter turned to me and said “when I watch this, it makes me feel bad for the way my people (The English) treated them (the Indians).” Choking back tears, I whispered “me too.” I’m sure my daughters remorse and compassion doesn’t come from the fact that through her veins pump the blood of both people (her family tree contains Native Americans (The Lumbee Tribe), Englishmen, and others). I believe, at a young age, she understands that all people matter to God, and that we should treat others the way we want to be treated.
Treat others the way you want to be treated. What does that look like in real life? The concept made me think of how I treat my husband. When I ignore him, how does that make him feel? Does he want to reciprocate the gesture by ignoring me? What about when he goes out of his way to do an act of service for me? Do I go out of my way to speak to him in HIS love language?
Often, I think, as mom’s we are so overwhelmed and overspent with taking care of the demands of the little people in our homes, that we neglect our husbands. They, of all people in our family, deserve the most love and respect from us. As my husband’s help mate, I have to continually make an intentional effort to show love and respect to my husband in a way that he will receive it.
When my spouse comes home from a long day at work, and needs to talk, I try to send the children to another room, while we have a discussion. Now, obviously, w/ children ranging from age 2-9, sometimes all of them staying there, or no whining, or fighting doesn’t always happen, but still, I try. My husband should always know that he comes first!
When my husband “lays down the law” to a child, I try HARD not interrupt or tell him what he is doing wrong. That doesn’t mean that we can’t go over the issue later, it just means that I shouldn’t do it in front of the children. I should treat him as the head of the house- always!
Affirmation. That’s a hard one for me. I’m not naturally a “praiser,” but my husband yearns to know what he is doing right in my eyes, and how much I appreciate his gifts and talents. I have to constantly remind myself to praise him for the little and BIG things he does for me, and for our family.
I wonder how different the history of the Native Americans would have been if the Englishmen had treated them w/ love and kindness and respect?
I want the history of my marriage to show that I treated my husband the way I wanted to be treated, with love and respect at all times.