Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 12-14

3 For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
² A time to be born and a time to die…

¹² So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. ¹³ And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

¹⁴ And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him.

(My mom went home to Jesus on April 21, 2021. My dad, sister and I were with her at home as she released her spirit into His hands.)

I’m a realist, as was my mother, and her mother before me. Not a pessimist; A REALIST! A realist (my definition) sees things as they are (without dismissing or denying the anguish of living in a world that is dying), while simultaneously seeing things as they will be.

Death came to us all in the garden when we failed to trust the Lord. But, hallelujah, that is not the end of the story! The death of body and soul would one day be redeemed in another garden, when the Son of Man wrestled through the reality of suffering a brutal death so that in Him, we might live. 

Love was the motivation of His heart. 

Love was the motivation of His Fathers heart. 

Love was the motivation of His Spirit that would dwell in the hearts of men, bringing comfort to our present reality- and hope for our future. 

The reality is…

I will never hear my mother’s voice again, never hear her call my name, never feel the warmth of her embrace, never taste the favorite foods she would prepare on birthdays, holidays or just because.

The reality is…

I will never discuss passages of Scripture with her that perplexed and puzzled us, never passionately debate current issues in the body of Christ, never argue about the everyday things of life we were strongly opinionated about.

The reality is…

I am mourning the loss of the one who carried and delivered me into this life, the one who devoted her days to training me in the way I SHOULD go (which, for many years was quite a challenge for her with this strong willed little girl!).

The reality is…

I am processing the pain by writing about a woman who was a sinner saved by grace- just like me. My mother was human, prone to failure and mistakes- just like me. She carried the scars of past choices- just like me. Yet, she shared them with her daughters and “daughters” in the Spirit, so that we might gain wisdom through her experiences. My mom deserves to be honored for her life and legacy of family, but she will not be worshipped or made into a saint. At least, not by me. She would tell you, as I would, that there is only ONE man who deserves to be worshipped: Jesus, our Savior and Lord.

The reality is…

I am remembering the tumultuous relationship between my mother and I when I was young. In my childishness and rebellion, I falsely accused and condemned her for several of the issues in my life. I am so grateful that in recent decades, the Spirit illuminated areas of darkness in my soul, revealing the lies I believed. Through much prayer and ministry, JESUS not only redeemed me to Himself, He also redeemed the mother-daughter relationship I so desperately yearned for. Nothing was hidden between us. Everything was brought into the light of His glorious presence. And although the reality of some of our experiences resulted in much heartache and grief, I am so thankful to now live in the reality of brokenness, while simultaneously living in the freedom we have in Christ. Our hope was that future generations would reap the blessings of our obedience to forgive, as we have been forgiven. God has honored that request, and confirmed His promise through a dream he gave my mom a few days before she passed (you can read about it here: https://deepintothewater.com/2021/04/19/go-on-to-glory/ )

The reality also is…

I know that whatever God does is final. Death is final. I will no longer see my mother face to face. BUT, eternal life is also final! One day, I WILL SEE JESUS face to face. I will join my mother- my sister in Christ, along with the great cloud of witnesses and all the living creatures that surround His throne. And together, we will worship Him for all eternity, crying “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!”

This is my reality.

Is it yours?